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Dear Twilight Fans

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Moosen
Posts: 4285 - Karma: 2,585
Dear Twilight fans,
Please realize that because vampires are dead and have no blood pumping through them, they can never get an erection. Enjoy fantasizing about that.
Sincerely, Logic.

Searchbarred
Sep 8 2010 12:20PM
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soulskier
Posts: 17806 - Karma: 3,841
and they live for that time of the month
Sep 8 2010 12:21PM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
first
Sep 8 2010 12:21PM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
not first
Sep 8 2010 12:22PM
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Charlie_Kelly
Posts: 11954 - Karma: 12,298
tou-fucking-che
Sep 8 2010 12:22PM
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Big_Spence
Posts: 16177 - Karma: 4,352
hello new facebook status.
Sep 8 2010 12:29PM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
Julia Dick likes this.
Sep 8 2010 12:30PM
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soulskier
Posts: 17806 - Karma: 3,841
Dick? really?
Sep 8 2010 12:33PM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
yep. its actually Heiman-Dick. really.
Sep 8 2010 12:33PM
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soulskier
Posts: 17806 - Karma: 3,841
sorry, didnt mean to come off as being so judgmental
just caught me off guard is all
Sep 8 2010 12:34PM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
haha its fine dude, its funny.
Sep 8 2010 12:37PM
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rickety_cricket
Posts: 909 - Karma: 34
Are you actually being serious? Or is my meter broken
Sep 8 2010 12:39PM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
i promise you i am being serious. at some point i'll find one of their wedding invitations and post it up
Sep 8 2010 12:43PM
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rickety_cricket
Posts: 909 - Karma: 34
Please do. I am sorry you got stuck with such an unfortunate last name. I think your parents might have gotten married just for the lulz haha
Sep 8 2010 12:47PM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
yeah i'm pretty sure they did, and don't be sorry! i love it. its pretty sweet getting all the jokes.
Sep 8 2010 12:50PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
They do have blood pumping in them - YOURS.

Sincerely,
ageless myths, mysterious deaths, the want for eternal life even with consequences and creative fictional writing.

Sep 8 2010 12:54PM
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rickety_cricket
Posts: 909 - Karma: 34
At least you can laugh with it and not be all negative like most people would
Sep 8 2010 12:55PM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
yeah im basically the shit.
Sep 8 2010 12:56PM
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rickety_cricket
Posts: 909 - Karma: 34
Well you are FBGM lets just say your kindof a big deal
Sep 8 2010 12:58PM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
yeah, i really shouldnt even be talking to you right now.
Sep 8 2010 12:59PM
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rickety_cricket
Posts: 909 - Karma: 34
I'm so sorry to burden you with my presence
Sep 8 2010 1:01PM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
it's fine just don't let it happen again publicly.
Sep 8 2010 1:02PM
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Balto
Posts: 25985 - Karma: 4,404
and you were thinking about vampire boners................why?
Sep 8 2010 1:02PM
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rickety_cricket
Posts: 909 - Karma: 34
I'll just stick to the pm's then :/
Sep 8 2010 1:04PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
...because he saw that sentence or a demotivational or whatever with the same notion on Funnyjunk or wherever and thought it would be original to post it here by writing it down himself so maybe people will look at it and find it humorous enough to give him props or karma or just positive vibes and it would make him feel warm and fuzzy inside.

Not 100% on that, though.
Sep 8 2010 1:08PM
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Charlie_Kelly
Posts: 11954 - Karma: 12,298
naw dude they pee it out
Sep 8 2010 1:29PM
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Moosen
Posts: 4285 - Karma: 2,585
Eff that haha I just don't get why girls are so obsessed with stupid non logical fantasies!?

Thomas you wish! That's not the reason i thought about it.
Sep 8 2010 8:30PM
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yuck
Posts: 8384 - Karma: 2,090
twilight is fucked up either way

Team Edward = Team Necrophelia

Team Jacob = Team Beastiality

take your pick, tweens!
Sep 8 2010 8:32PM
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Moosen
Posts: 4285 - Karma: 2,585
Well said sir!
Sep 8 2010 8:34PM
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A.Eberhard
Posts: 4426 - Karma: 415
was wondering the same thing...
Sep 8 2010 8:34PM
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Negro_Jesus
Posts: 1789 - Karma: 91
Click for larger image
Sep 8 2010 8:37PM
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No_Dub
Posts: 3357 - Karma: 294
hahaha thats great
Sep 8 2010 8:39PM
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Heinzler
Posts: 1931 - Karma: 125
hahahahahahahahaha +k to you sir. made my night
Sep 8 2010 8:51PM
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Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
If Steph Myers would have written Edward to be, let's say, a superhero that can't touch/kiss/fuck his eternal love for five years because it would kill her if she didn't get used to being around him first, shit would have still sold like hot cakes.

Twifans are obsessed with it because some lingering longing and need for "the perfect man". Twilight is written from the point of view of Bella and she is left almost completely open by not being described at all - girl read book, girl become Bella. Uga uga. Think of it as a really good POV porn video and you'll get my drift. Add fuel to the fire when the movies came out, and Edward is this brooding, handsome guy who shines in sunlight - then you've got yourself the recipe for a 100 x NYT Bestseller right there.

But in the end, what's with this non-logic thing you're on about? Why should fiction, let alone love or affection, be logical?
Sep 8 2010 8:52PM
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Uncle.Badness
Posts: 2545 - Karma: 55
WAWAWEWA
Sep 8 2010 9:07PM
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mommy
Posts: 12072 - Karma: 59

most vampires are horse-hung and big enough flacid for this not to matter.

Sep 8 2010 10:00PM
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Mooserz
Posts: 2945 - Karma: 32
http://www.dearblankpleaseblank.com/permalink.php?viewid=8170
Sep 9 2010 3:07PM
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lineskier10
Posts: 11339 - Karma: 796
hahaha i miss you mommy
Sep 9 2010 3:33PM
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I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
i'll bring up the rigor mortis argument and say they're always hard ?
Sep 9 2010 3:36PM
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2L208
Posts: 1075 - Karma: 308
rigor mortis is only temporary, some vampires are 100's of years old
Sep 9 2010 5:02PM
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yuck
Posts: 8384 - Karma: 2,090
sounds like you know your stuff...

got a confession to make? ;)
Sep 9 2010 5:05PM
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I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
captain buzzkill....


for anyone interested, i performed some scientific research on "vampire boners"
(i googled it)
and this is one of the interesting things i found:
Sep 9 2010 5:08PM
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2L208
Posts: 1075 - Karma: 308
i saw the baseball scene on the first movie. but i have seen from dusk til dawn, blade, underworld. so yeah i kind of have a rough idea about vampires
Sep 9 2010 5:08PM
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