ski terminology (long but good)

Ski Terminology


AT-curious. adj. Mainly refers to skiers, although it can apply to snowboarders, too. After slogging behind a free-pivoting AT tourer for a few hours and then watching them rip a line you can only dream about, many of us have wondered, am I 1 2?

Avy. adj./n. A common abbreviation for avalanche.

Beater n. 1. A term (commonly used in Utah) for a person or persons, normally from out-of-state, who move(s) slowly on traverses, take(s) low lines on traverses, or jump(s) off of small ugly rocks with flat or uphill landings within site of major lifts because they mistakenly think that because they have crossed the Mississippi all drops are safe and land-able. These rocks are often referred to as 'punk rocks'. 2. A fall that imitates the action of an egg beater, usually resulting in a 'yard sale.'

Bloodshed. n. The learning area with terrain park at Killington known officially as “Snowshed.�

Blower. n. 1. One who blows. 2. A device for producing a current of air or gas. 3. A loud arrogant boaster 4. A British telephone 5. Slang, a term used to describe the actions of, and/or the conditions surrounding, the act of snowboarding. Example: “The riding was epic, I was making BLOWER powder turns all day.�

Buffet. n. Cafeteria condiment racks, which have provided several generations of Malczyks with nourishing free lunches.

Bullet-proof. n./adj. Rock-hard, impenetrable ice, often masquerading as a groomed trail. Of or relating to said 'snow' condition.

Bumps. n. Moguls.

Cauliflower. n. Snowmaking terminology for freshly made 'snow' in close proximity to a snowgun. Results from gun running too wet, and giving the snow near the gun the appearance of a head of the vegetable of the same name.

Center punch. n. In backcountry skiing, the act of laying first tracks down the center of a pristine bowl, especially if heli-skiers are en route to the same terrain.

Chicken heads. n. The previously soft but now rock hard balls of snow immovably frozen to the previously soft but now rock hard groomed trail surface. Usually found early in the morning during spring skiing.

Clothesline. v. The action which occurs when one doesn't duck low enough upon entering a closed trail.

Closed area. n. Where the good skiing begins. See 'closed trail.'

Closed trail. n. Reserved powder for me and my friends.

Coral reef. n. The previously soft but now rock hard ungroomed snow immovably frozen into formations that resemble in shape and consistency coral reefs. Usually found early in the morning during spring skiing.

Crater. n. Hole left in fresh deep snow by skier/rider 'hucking' body off large cliff.

Dawn Patrol. n. The habit of ascending the mountain starting at 3 to 4am so as to be on the summit at dawn, ensuring later-risers great views of your center-punching exploits. Also allows you to be back at your desk by nine.

Death cookies. n. Frozen chunks of snow of varying sizes, often cemented to the ski surface, waiting to snare a hapless skier. Deathcookies are generally remnants of death crust or are the result of the pre-corduroy groomers that used the tread of the groomer and the roller to do the job instead of the plow and fancy-dancy corduroy machine on today's hi-tec Piston Bully and Bombardier groomers. Death cookies were the frozen chunks of snow that were left
over remnants of the grooming job.

The Ditch. n. Halfpipe.

Dirtbag. n. 1. bum. known to salvage lunch from table scraps and condiment bar. Never pays for skiing and drives uninsured, uninspected, and unregistered car purchased with liquid currency. 2. (Nearly archaic) Telemark skier. See 'knee-dragger,' etc.

Dirtbags. n., pl. The clientele of Mad River Glen.

Drop in. v. To make the first turn off a traverse/groomer/marked trail and commit to a line down a chute, bowl, or trees.

DRT. n. An acronym. Patrollers' terminology for a very bad accident. Translates to 'dead right there.'

Dust-on-crust. n. A common ski condition in the northeast involving a boiler-plate hardpack with a light dusting of snow on top.

Encroacher: n. similar to poacher, but potentially more vile. refers to individuals who follow ski tracks and mark little known chutes and glades with tape and enter them into their GPS units for future reference, instead of learning the terrain. Also known to cut crappy, punji-filled, skidded out entrances to beautiful lines, thereby ruining said beautiful lines. Always talks loudly about where they've been, especially in liftlines and on shuttle buses.

Explodomat. n. (Archaic) An early alpine safety binding that had a penchant for irretrievably ejecting critical pieces of itself into the snow during release.

Faceplant. n. Common technique used to test the density or depth of the snow pack, generally unintentional.

First tracks. n. What skiers and riders live for. Tracks on untouched powder snow. See 'poach' for further information.

Flatlander. n. Someone not from Vermont, regardless of how mountainous one's point of origin is.

Flop of Snowboarders. n. A pack of snowboarders lying down in one area, usually across a trail. Similar usage to 'gaggle of geese', etc.

Frozen granular. n. 1. (Archaic) Ski reporting terminology describing a surface condition that occurs when wet granular snow, commonly found in spring conditions, freezes and forms a hard but edgeable surface. 2. As commonly used, common ski-area euphemism for ice.

Gaper. n. A person who spends a lot of time looking at things, often stopping in annoying, inappropriate, or downright dangerous places to do so.

Gapers block. n. A congregation of “gapers� clogging access to inappropriate or downright dangerous lines.

Gaper-gap. n. The exposed space in the forehead found between the top of one's ski goggles and the front of one's helmet. Note: diameter and total area of said gaper gap are generally proportional to an individual's relative gaper status.

Gomer. n. A pejorative term applied to one who, trying to ski like a hero, makes error that is laughable, esp. from chairlift. Can also be used as a verb, as in 'I was gomering bad on paradise-how embarrassing!'

Groomer. n. Derogatory. A destructive variety of gomer. An intermediate skier/rider in a tight chute who 'grooms' fresh powder snow by sideslipping the complete width of an entire chute. Also known as the “snow squeegee.�

Hero. n. One who rocks on skis. Note: The condition may only be temporary.

Hero Snow. n. Light fluffy snow that makes skiing that much easier. Alt.: simply soft, easily edgeable snow, like spring corn.

To Huck. v. The act of throwing oneself off of a cornice, cliff, rock, or any other thing that results in an attempt to fly.

To Jib. v. The act of throwing oneself off of a man-made jump in an attempt to fly as well as twist the body into various positions to perform 'tricks.'


JFS. Imperative. An acronym for Just Fucking Ski. Typically used by in response to, a. too much gear talk, or b. discussions involving a plan to go “jibbing.�

Joey. n. Mad River Valley term for 'SPORE.'

JSA n. An acronym for Just Sking Along, as in “I was JSA and my ski bent,� or, “my ski tip just blew apart.�

Knee-dragger. n. See “meadow skipper,� related to knuckle-dragger (Atkinson).

Knuckle-dragger. n. Snowboarder.

Kodak courage. n. The phenomenon of doing something a person normally wouldn't do - eg: backflip, cliff jump - because of the presence of a camera. Often hormonally fueled, the seriousness and/or stupidity of the stunt increases several orders of magnitude if said camera is video instead of still. Frequently prefaced with 'Dude, get a shot of me...'

Locals. n. An angry territorial mob, particularly boisterous on the Tear Drop or at MRG.

Mach. v. Making high-speed, high-g carved turns that leave deep tracks on the snow surface, e.g. 'We just mached the headwall, so watch out for the ruts if you ski it.'

Marketing goggles. n. 1. Magnification (30-40%). Eyewear worn by Jay Peak marketing personnel to measure snow. 2. The practice of measuring snowfall rather than snowpack. A close relative of 'beer goggles.'
Mashed potatoes. adj. Gloppy, deep corn snow.

Mason-Dixon line. n. The Vermont-Massachusetts border. Note: the border begins somewhere near the latitude of Granville; anything south of Sugarbush is Mass.

McTrees, McGlades. n. Corporate cut tree skiing areas. Widespread at Jay Peak and sometimes known as 'Fusion zones' or 'wild things' at more southern locales.

McSkiing. n. pointless.

Meadow-skipper. n. Telemark skier, almost sounds like the name of a butterfly though.

Moglets. n. Little bumps (see bumps).

Monoboarder. n. Snowboarder. See 'knuckle-dragger' etc.

Monoblitzkreig. n.,pl. Large group of 'monobombers.' Very common in Colorado, and very effective.

Monobomber. n. A poorly equipped backcountry snowboarder used for avalanche control work, often seen flying off cornices during periods of dubious snowpack.

No jumping. n. Signage at ski area which indicates a very good spot to jump just ahead.

Notaski trail. n. Where the good skiing begins.

Nub, nubbins. n. Poorly trimmed saplings ~1' or more in diameter that protrude above the snow surface in lean snow years.

On Her Majesty's Secret Service. n. The only good ski movie, with apologies to Warren. It stars 'the other guy.'
Onie. n. in reference to one-piece suits, usually worn by 'tourons' or “gapers.�

aramark / Paramarker. n. Skiing parallel turns on tele skis.

Fake-a-mark. n. Bad tele form where skier drops knee but fails to achieve good tele position or turn due to most weight remaining on front ski. Very common on 1st day on tele skis, but can also persist for some time.

Partee. n. Annual gathering of large group of 'skivittlers.'

Pinhead. n. Telemark skier. Refers to old school three-pin bindings (still produced by Voile). AKA '3pinner'.

Poacher. n. 1. Person, who at all costs, gets 1st tracks. 2. One who skis an area without paying. 3. One who steals the hacky-sack when it was clearly passed to someone else.

Pocono Shuffle n. A technique inskiing, as perfected by the skiers of yore, that involves a full noodle-like contortion of the body when turning (see www.frontrunnerski.com for gear that suits such technique)... usually requires a straight ski, 200cm plus in length... stretch pants or 'onies' also help. AKA: 'The Mambo' or 'Mambo turns,' Western version: 'Denver Wiggle.�

Poser. n. Common at Stratton, Vail, Deer Valley. One who wears the best clothing, has the best equipment, and skis like a gaper, spore, i.e. someone who thinks money can change his (or her, but generally his) skiing ability.

Posthole, Postholer. v./n. To ruin a ski run or skin track by wallowing up it in boots. One who ruins a ski run by wallowing up it in boots, or holes left in snowpack by said postholer.

Powderturds. n. Local slang. The Wasatch Powder Birds helicopter skiing company.

Pressin’ glass. v. Refers to the ridiculous practice of lining up at the crack of dawn for the gondola on a powder day.

Puckerbrush. n. Thick, nearly impenetrable, underbrush.

Punjii sticks. n. Sharp subsurface vegetation that make any VT landing questionable.

Rail. v. 1. See 'mach.' 2. n. An object on which jibbers jib.

Rag doll. v./n. Executing an uncontrolled, tumbling fall. An uncontrolled tumbling fall, esp. on steep terrain.

Schwapper (or schwip-schwapper). n. Telemark skier. A derogatory term that refers to the sound a skidding skier makes as they scrape all the snow off the hill. Also a verb, as in, to schwap.

Ski Area Boundary. n. Where the good skiing begins.

skijor: v. (skee' yor) (v. skijoring, n, skijorer ) Skiing while being pulled by a tow rope. (often horses, dogs, reindeer, or parents, but in recent times snowmobiles & SUVs.) Also includes kites.

Skivt-L. n. A listserv, or e-mail discussion group, hosted on University of Vermont servers, organized to discuss politics, baseball and, once in while, skiing.

Skivittler. n. One who eschews crowded trails and chews bark (and has a penchant for pontification).

Skivittles. n. Slang. See Skivt-L

Slog. n./v. A tour on telemark skis, or to tour on telemark skis; it refers to the difficulty meadow-skippers have in compressing the springs of beefy telemark bindings with each step on a climb. See 'A-T curious.'

Snotcicle. n. The requisite icicle formations on the requisite beards of tele-skiers on cold days, often the result of a day slogging; the length and number of said 'snotcicles' are directly proportional to the epic-ness of the tour.

Snowsnake. n. 1. Something under the snow waiting to grab and pull down a skier, usually found in the early season snowpack out west or all season long in the northeast. 2. A mythical beast that skier-parents use (often ineffectively) to scare their children out of the trees.

Snow tasting. n. Common descriptor used as a covering tactic by expert skier after completing a “faceplant.�

Soup-stained beard. n. (Archaic). A somewhat derogatory term used to describe the appearance of the telemarker stereotype skier from the early days of pinhead lift-served tail-smack turns, Tele Sauvage skis, Asolo Snowfield boots, and Stupid Loop bindings. (An endearing image to be sure.)

SPORE. n. A derogatory acronym for Stupid Person On Rental Equipment. See “Gomer.�

Sucker track. n. A lone set of tracks leading into unsavory terrain.

Testing snow depth. v. Urinating on snow. Note: good etiquette confines this practice to be performed off-trail, preferably on a tree if one performs the test in an upright position.

Thwackage. adj. Of or relating to the nuisance between the trees. Sometimes useful when trying to control speed. AKA 'schwackage' and 'schuack'. Also a verb, as in, to schwack.

Tourist. n. 1. Someone attempting to ski an “avi� debris field. 2. Someone overheard complaining that '...the blues here are harder and steeper than any of the blacks at Stratton!' (Alta, 3/7/04, Germania lift line, approx. 11:30a) 3. A person on Diamond Land, a usually groomed single black diamond at Solitude, loudly proclaiming/complaining in reference to the foot of new powder, 'THIS SUCKS!!!!' on 2/26/04, when the prediction was 4' - 8' and we actually got 21'. 4. A person 1/3 of the way across the High Traverse, on the far side of Sunspot, asking, in reference to the stream of people headed further out, 'What's out there?' (Alta, 3/7/04, approx. 2:30p)

Touron. n. See SPORE.

Trench. v. See “mach.�

Turtleheads. n. Snowmaking terminology for hard clumps of snow that stick up out of the snowpack when snow is first made on a trail each season; results from partially-frozen water landing and freezing on grass, twigs, etc.

Whips. n. Related to 'thwackage,' but a specific type of off-piste or b/c terrain characterized by immature Striped Maples or other 'nuisance' vegatation poking up through the snow pack. Whip fields often yield the best powder turns long after a storm and make a very plesant sound as whips impact aluminum poles. Careful mental calculation of skier speed and momentum, whip average diamter, whip density, and the snow type x-factor is often needed in a split second before an unwary skier dips into the whips.

White Lightning. n. Snowmaking terminology for freshly made 'snow' in close proximity to a snowgun. It looks like good surface but is actually about as edgeable as Formica. Physical origin similar to that of “Cauliflower,� but with enough wind the wet snow is more evenly distributed.

Whose. n./v. malapropism by (adj here) skivt-l poster DS meaning 'Wuss.' (Also used as a verb, e.g. 'whosed' and 'whoseing.') Now in somewhat frequent use by skivittlers.

Yard sale. n. A crash of great magnitude where the skier has lost at least one piece of equipment or clothing separated from his body, i.e. a pole, ski or goggles. The greater the number of articles separated from the skier and the greater the distance these aforementioned articles are from the skier, the greater the number of points assessed to said skier.



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Appendix 1: Kinds of Skiing

Figure 8s
Figure 11s
Straight line
Launch
Hot dogging
Zipper line
Face Shots
Snorkling
Rip
Nail
Stick
Cruise
Thigh Burner
'Chuck (short for Woodchuck- refers to the turn, hop, turn style used by well schooled Smuggs natives wearing ratty JWM pants to deal with narrow double fall line runs)
'Troller Turns (short for Patroller - refers to hop turns down anything)
Worm Turn (before the time of many on this list)



Appendix 2: Kinds of Crashing

Biff
Auger in (land on head with a twist)
Burner (high speed skid)
Crater
Body pack
Rag Doll
Yard Sale



Appendix 3: Kinds of Snow

Chowder
Cement
Crud
Boiler plate
Corn
Mashed Potatoes
Fart Blown
Sugar and Ice
Corduroy
Bullet-proof
Champagne
Mank
Ego Snow


Appendix 4: Kinds of Ski Area Terrain or Conditions

Gnarly
Bony
Bone Yard
Puckery (skiable with lots of puckerbush)
McSkiing Rad (I don't make this stuff up, I just report it)
No Fall Zone
Tight Worchester 8 (refers to Gillette and Dostal's Worchester Scale)
H8 (refers to the Heiniousity Scale)






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JOEI


GIRLS OF NS represent