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Anti-jokes

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Hemulen.

Posts: 448 - Karma: 17

Karma: 17

Posts: 448

Ridiculous

two men are sitting in a pub. one man turns to the other and says:

"last night i saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house."

the other man replies "Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit."

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away.

One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the batmobile?

"Robin, please, get in the batmobile.

how many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

one, they are as physically able as any other human.

Aug 5 2010 8:03AM

0 0

.Natty.

Posts: 1030 - Karma: 84

Karma: 84

Posts: 1030

Insane

Your mother is so loose you must tell me who her chiropractor is. I'm looking for one to ease the tension in my lower back.

A muslim gets on a transatlantic commercial airliner.

All the other passengers are privately nervous, but nobody mentions it.

May 10 2011 9:58AM

0 0

.Natty.

Posts: 1030 - Karma: 84

Karma: 84

Posts: 1030

Insane

Whats the difference between a jew and firewood?

Firewood is meant to be burned in a stove or firepit while jews are functioning members of society.

May 10 2011 9:59AM

0 0

Lemuel

Posts: 14491 - Karma: 10,630

Karma: 10,630

Posts: 14491

Crazy Fool

Why can't Canadian's spell "color" correctly?

Because they are idiots!

May 10 2011 10:12AM

0 0

blackjakesteele

Posts: 311 - Karma: 9

Karma: 9

Posts: 311

Loner

Threads this is hilarious.

May 10 2011 10:36AM

0 0

RunRich

Posts: 207 - Karma: 11

Karma: 11

Posts: 207

Loner

a horse walks into a bar. the bartender says, "why the long face?" the horse then says, "my dad just died and my wife has terminal cancer."

May 10 2011 12:31PM

0 0

RunRich

Posts: 207 - Karma: 11

Karma: 11

Posts: 207

Loner

balls! i just did that same one before reading yours haha

May 10 2011 12:32PM

0 0

J-Evs

Posts: 6387 - Karma: 1,615

Karma: 1,615

Posts: 6387

No Life

threads
so funny

May 10 2011 12:56PM

0 0

AHSkier

Posts: 563 - Karma: 42

Karma: 42

Posts: 563

Ridiculous

what's worse than biting in to an apple and finding a worm in it?

getting fucked by a giant scorpion

May 10 2011 1:16PM

0 0

lands11

Posts: 1818 - Karma: 1,677

Karma: 1,677

Posts: 1818

Insane

hahahhahahaha threads for sure, this is hilarious

May 10 2011 1:24PM

0 0

Mr.Luke

Posts: 2441 - Karma: 166

Karma: 166

Posts: 2441

Addict

what did the woman say to the dog?

Stop shitting on my carpet you dickhole

May 10 2011 1:33PM

0 0

danderson.

Posts: 6560 - Karma: 5,252

Karma: 5,252

Posts: 6560

No Life

Why was six afraid of seven?

It wasn't. Numbers are not sentient and thus incapable of feeling fear.

Your friend is so gay, he has consensual sex with other males and enjoys it.

Knock, Knock.

Who's there?

Dave.

Dave who?

Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimers has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.

Three blind mice walk into a pub. They are all unaware of their surroundings, so to derive humor from it would be exploitative.

May 10 2011 1:46PM

0 0

AHSkier

Posts: 563 - Karma: 42

Karma: 42

Posts: 563

Ridiculous

I think mine was the best

why did the black guy fall in to the street?
because he tripped off of the curb

May 10 2011 1:52PM

0 0

moonofendor

Posts: 1484 - Karma: 14

Karma: 14

Posts: 1484

Insane

whats the difference between your bike, and the one that the black man is riding down the street?
nothing, you just sold it to him

May 10 2011 2:16PM

0 0

541

Posts: 506 - Karma: 45

Karma: 45

Posts: 506

Ridiculous

A black man and a jew jump out of a plane, Which one hits the ground first?
The who pullss there shoot later.

May 11 2011 2:29AM

0 0

Gmart

Posts: 1634 - Karma: 273

Karma: 273

Posts: 1634

Insane

haven't read all the pages so sorry if someone already said these but here goes
Where do black people sit in yankee stadium? section 8
whats the difference between a black guy and a pizza, a pizza can provide for a family of 4
And i don't like the holocaust jokes guys my grandpa died in the holocaust, he fell off the guard tower

May 11 2011 8:33AM

0 0

pigglywiggly

Posts: 4482 - Karma: 305

Karma: 305

Posts: 4482

No Life

uhhh......

May 11 2011 8:37AM

0 0

@skiinmitch

Posts: 2781 - Karma: 78

Karma: 78

Posts: 2781

Addict

Fucking gold

May 11 2011 11:13AM

0 0

jonny828

Posts: 1096 - Karma: 58

Karma: 58

Posts: 1096

Insane

did someone miss the point of the thread..?

May 11 2011 11:38AM

0 0

TechnoPotamus

Posts: 11626 - Karma: 3,522

Karma: 3,522

Posts: 11626

Crazy Fool

omg i made a sig! best day ever

May 11 2011 11:44AM

0 0

blindside

Posts: 5619 - Karma: 1,201

Karma: 1,201

Posts: 5619

No Life

What did the first lawyer say to the second lawyer?

We are both lawyers.

What's the difference between tuna and a piano?

A lot.

May 11 2011 12:05PM

0 0

Big-Bic

Posts: 9 - Karma: 10

Karma: 10

Posts: 9

Newb

What is red and smells like blue paint?

Red paint.

May 11 2011 12:39PM

0 0

jonny828

Posts: 1096 - Karma: 58

Karma: 58

Posts: 1096

Insane

i dont know how you didnt before, all of your shit is downright hilarious

May 12 2011 1:54AM

0 0

ya_frizz

Posts: 44 - Karma: 11

Karma: 11

Posts: 44

Lame

what's long hard and full of seamen...

a submarine..

May 12 2011 4:21AM

0 0

Trollolo

Posts: 793 - Karma: 16

Karma: 16

Posts: 793

Ridiculous

Bump for an epic thread !

Jun 11 2011 11:53PM

0 0

cultrara

Posts: 5147 - Karma: 46,850

Karma: 46,850

Posts: 5147

No Life

this is awesome

Jun 11 2011 11:58PM

0 0

Hasterf

Posts: 12 - Karma: 21

Karma: 21

Posts: 12

Newb

This is a awesome thread haha I'll see of I can come up with anything.

Jun 12 2011 12:15AM

0 0

bromigo

Posts: 630 - Karma: 20

Karma: 20

Posts: 630

Ridiculous

how many jews can you fit in the car? 2 in the front 3 in the back and 15 in the ashtray. no hate.

Jun 12 2011 1:32AM

0 0

Just_Send_It

Posts: 4761 - Karma: 992

Karma: 992

Posts: 4761

No Life

How do you fit a giraffe in a refrigerator?

open the door and put it in

Jun 12 2011 1:36AM

0 0

cgibbs2

Posts: 127 - Karma: 13

Karma: 13

Posts: 127

Pro

threads

Jun 12 2011 2:08AM

0 0

.thedude

Posts: 292 - Karma: 16

Karma: 16

Posts: 292

Loner

so there's a rabbi, a priest and nonreligious man on a plane, all having a very nice flight, when the pilot announces over the intercom that there is engine trouble and everyone needs to evacuate the plane immediately. the three men get up from there seats and each take a parachute and evacuation is orderly.

Jun 12 2011 2:44AM

0 0

canterbury

Posts: 2382 - Karma: 55

Karma: 55

Posts: 2382

Addict

nice try

Jun 12 2011 3:34AM

0 0

iSmokeweed

Posts: 4793 - Karma: 1,370

Karma: 1,370

Posts: 4793

No Life

to the top!

Feb 25 2012 12:02AM

0 0

bstuck1

Posts: 426 - Karma: 46

Karma: 46

Posts: 426

Ridiculous

Why does Snoop Dogg carry an umbrella?

Because the morning weather forecast called for a 90% chance or precipitation, and he didn't want to get wet.

Feb 25 2012 12:09AM

0 0

CalebT

Posts: 1186 - Karma: 765

Karma: 765

Posts: 1186

Insane

Threads!

Feb 25 2012 12:14AM

0 0

Squeenerd

Posts: 731 - Karma: 186

Karma: 186

Posts: 731

Ridiculous

Why don't you ever throw rocks at a Mexican on a bike?

Because it's just plain rude.

Feb 25 2012 12:39AM

0 0

Logey.

Posts: 2996 - Karma: 457

Karma: 457

Posts: 2996

Addict

So a girl was walking home from school when a car pulls up and offered her free candy if she gets in. She gladly accepted and got in. She was safely given a ride home and given a bag of candy.

Feb 25 2012 1:37AM

0 0

Lé.Skiing

Posts: 10035 - Karma: 8,128

Karma: 8,128

Posts: 10035

Crazy Fool

Canadians spell it correctly. Only in the US have they taken out the "u" in the word "colour".

Taken straight from Wiktionay:

From Latin color, via Anglo-Norman colour (Early Anglo-Norman culur). The US spelling, which excludes the u, was chosen to conform to the word's Latin origin, and to make all derivatives consistent (colorimeter, colorize, colorless, etc; see below). Elsewhere in the English-speaking world, the u has been retained.

...and now you know

Feb 25 2012 3:04AM

0 0

wait.what

Posts: 1694 - Karma: 529

Karma: 529

Posts: 1694

Insane

Instead of pickup lines we should really have breakup lines. Such as. Hey babe, I think you're being followed. "why?!". I've been seeing people behind your back.

Feb 25 2012 11:01AM

0 0