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January, 2025

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Anti-jokes

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Hemulen.
Posts: 448 - Karma: 17
two men are sitting in a pub. one man turns to the other and says:
"last night i saw lots of strange men coming in and out of your wife's house."
the other man replies "Yes, she has become a prostitute to subsidise her drug habit."

What do you call a black man flying a plane? A pilot

Two cows are in a field. Suddenly, from behind a bush, a rabbit leaps out and runs away.
One cow looks round a bit, eats some grass and then wanders off.

What did Batman say to Robin before getting in the batmobile?
"Robin, please, get in the batmobile.

how many jews does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
one, they are as physically able as any other human.
Aug 5 2010 8:03AM
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garret.
Posts: 1173 - Karma: 584

why didnt the boy eat dinner?

he wasnt hungry

Feb 22 2011 4:34PM
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rewand0
Posts: 315 - Karma: 14
These jokes are great.
My threads.
Feb 22 2011 4:38PM
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thedeathstar
Posts: 92 - Karma: 19
How do you get a clown off a swing?

Hit him in the face with an axe.



What's the difference between Neil Armstrong and Michael Jackson?


Neil Armstrong walked on the moon and Michael Jackson porked childrens



Feb 22 2011 4:40PM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 427
Why was the little girl crying.

Her parents are dead.
Feb 22 2011 4:40PM
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eldridge
Posts: 2272 - Karma: 47
a man walks into a bar and the bartender asks him what he wants, he ignores him and instead pulls a sub machine gun out of his jacket and opens fire on the bar
Feb 22 2011 4:43PM
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JustDidIt
Posts: 2194 - Karma: 160
knock knock

who's there?

the police. your whole family died in a car crash
Feb 22 2011 4:44PM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 427
Why was the boy all wet.

He just drown in his pool unsupervised.
Feb 22 2011 4:44PM
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JustDidIt
Posts: 2194 - Karma: 160
how do you make a plumber cry?

you kill his family
Feb 22 2011 4:46PM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 427
Why can't the dog play fetch?

He was hit by a car and now is blind.
Feb 22 2011 4:47PM
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eldridge
Posts: 2272 - Karma: 47
why did the baby not make a peep last night? it died after a case of sudden infant death syndrome
Feb 22 2011 4:49PM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 427
Why can't the teenage girl be social?

She was sexually abused as a child
Feb 22 2011 4:51PM
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eldridge
Posts: 2272 - Karma: 47
Could patrick swayze beat the shit out of bruce willis?


No, he is dead
Feb 22 2011 4:53PM
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futurespin
Posts: 2178 - Karma: 168
Why did the black kids drop out of high school?



Because he didn't get very good grades.
Feb 22 2011 4:55PM
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eldridge
Posts: 2272 - Karma: 47
why did the little girl fall off her bike?

she was hit by gang stray fire, killing her instantly
Feb 22 2011 4:56PM
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Lexx
Posts: 327 - Karma: 688
knock knock
"who's there?"
The police, your entire family has been killed in a car accident.
Feb 22 2011 5:11PM
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Lexx
Posts: 327 - Karma: 688
What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas?
Cancer.
Feb 22 2011 5:15PM
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Yung_Gnarley
Posts: 9095 - Karma: 3,073
Know how I know you're gay?
Because you came out of the closet a week or two ago.
Feb 22 2011 5:16PM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 427
THis one is my fav
Feb 22 2011 5:17PM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 427
Why was the dog put down?

He was owned by a man who set him on fire, and euthanasia was the only way to put him out of his misery.
Feb 22 2011 5:17PM
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DERS.
Posts: 6299 - Karma: 1,293
inb4 applejuice
Feb 22 2011 5:20PM
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JustDidIt
Posts: 2194 - Karma: 160
what did the homeless man get for christmas?

nothing
Feb 22 2011 5:52PM
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Alex=God
Posts: 2422 - Karma: 139
so a baby seal walks into a club
Feb 22 2011 7:16PM
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mad.twatter
Posts: 210 - Karma: 28
My threadz.
Feb 23 2011 8:47AM
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.josh.
Posts: 600 - Karma: 18
why couldn't she get up?

she had no legs.

why did no one help her up?

she had no friends.

why did she have no friends?

she was fat.

why was she fat?

she ate her arms and legs.
Feb 23 2011 8:57AM
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jon@wh2o
Posts: 314 - Karma: 158
What's worse than a bee sting?
Two bee stings.
Whats worse than two bees tings?
The holocaust.
What's worse than the holocaust?
Three bee stings.


A man at a bar orders a line of 10 vodka shots and when he gets them he takes the first and last ones and throws them away. When asked why he does this, he replies: The first one tastes like shit, and the last one makes me sick.
Feb 23 2011 11:21PM
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Bubba-Snax
Posts: 541 - Karma: 11
whats pasty white and bounces up and down in a child's bed?



a pedophiles ass.
Feb 23 2011 11:25PM
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MN_Nice
Posts: 3824 - Karma: 56
Why did the boy cross the road?

He has Down Syndrome.
Feb 23 2011 11:28PM
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B-runge
Posts: 16558 - Karma: 361
this
is
awesome
Feb 23 2011 11:36PM
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amo
Posts: 6709 - Karma: 1,248
threadz
Feb 23 2011 11:38PM
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Answerless
Posts: 392 - Karma: 118
Two mexicans in the car, who's driving?

No one. Their immigration status is still pending. They don't have i-94 visas thus they can't attain driver's license without an acceptable proof of citizenship.

How do you determine a name for an Asian baby?

Usually, babies who are born into an Asian family get their names from the elders, because Confucianism is still a very prominent ethical and philosophical system in Asian cultures and it greatly emphasizes family unity and respect of elders.
Feb 23 2011 11:48PM
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Bubba-Snax
Posts: 541 - Karma: 11
how do you get 2 jews to fight??


ask how literally the tora should be interpreted.
Feb 24 2011 12:15AM
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gnarles.
Posts: 2587 - Karma: 130
lololol this thread is awsome
Feb 24 2011 12:35AM
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The.Ginger
Posts: 978 - Karma: 13
what did the asian man say to the turtle?
you're a turtle
Feb 24 2011 12:39AM
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sndyrvr
Posts: 684 - Karma: 119
i lol´d so hard i cried
Feb 24 2011 12:44AM
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c4t_l0ver
Posts: 5485 - Karma: 810
i rike dis fread
Feb 24 2011 12:46AM
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eldridge
Posts: 2272 - Karma: 47
why did the little girl stop skiing?


she was going too fast and out of control and hit a tree and died
Feb 24 2011 12:51AM
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jaythemans
Posts: 243 - Karma: 57

What did the Rabbi say to the naked priest?

Nice ass

Feb 24 2011 1:00AM
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Zimmerman
Posts: 6992 - Karma: 1,021
although it doesn't matter and I love this thread, REPOST.
Feb 24 2011 1:03AM
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jaythemans
Posts: 243 - Karma: 57
A dyslexic man walks into a bra
Feb 24 2011 1:06AM
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jaythemans
Posts: 243 - Karma: 57
a dyslexic man walked into a bar, ordered a beer, and no one was aware of his affliction
Feb 24 2011 1:11AM
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jaythemans
Posts: 243 - Karma: 57
So a Hispanic, African-American, Jewish, and Asian man were walking down the street.

They were involved in a parade that celebrated racial equality.
Feb 24 2011 1:14AM
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pinhead_larry
Posts: 891 - Karma: 20
Ahhh nice bump man.
Feb 24 2011 1:14AM
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eldridge
Posts: 2272 - Karma: 47
a Muslim walks into a bar and is killed by a paranoid gun carrying schizophrenic simply because of his appearance.
Feb 24 2011 1:15AM
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Willskiforbooze
Posts: 29 - Karma: 10
Knock knock. Who's there. Mom. Mom who? .... Your mom let me in damnit it's cold
Feb 24 2011 1:15AM
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tall_pants
Posts: 663 - Karma: 446
Why did the black guy eat fried chicken? Because He likes the taste
Feb 24 2011 1:16AM
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SPECK
Posts: 616 - Karma: 47
a baby seal walks into a club, he enjoys himself and meets some friendly women
Feb 24 2011 1:44AM
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Ski_Alot
Posts: 5908 - Karma: 3,732
A boy and his grandfather are shoveling the boy's driveway, why do they stop The grandfather suffers a stroke and the boy is hit by a drunk Driver
Feb 24 2011 9:32AM
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The.Ginger
Posts: 978 - Karma: 13
Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Burning to death
Feb 25 2011 12:58AM
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.Emerson.
Posts: 1548 - Karma: 16
What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding an apple in your worm
Feb 25 2011 1:19AM
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canterbury
Posts: 2382 - Karma: 55
my threads, these are solid
Feb 25 2011 1:27AM
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All times are Eastern (-5)