Member of the Month

hi_vis360
November, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Go to Jokes

profile picture
afterbang_me
Posts: 385 - Karma: 152
what are some of everyone's favorite jokes?
Jul 22 2010 12:52AM
0 0
profile picture
Parrish
Posts: 8695 - Karma: 1,009
Whats the Difference between this thread and many others?

Nothing, cause this is a repost!
Jul 22 2010 12:54AM
0 0
profile picture
afterbang_me
Posts: 385 - Karma: 152
i bet that one goes over well at the bars

Jul 22 2010 12:56AM
0 0
profile picture
Mtougas
Posts: 870 - Karma: 77
Whats the difference between a respected member of NS and you......
Jul 22 2010 12:56AM
0 0
profile picture
Parrish
Posts: 8695 - Karma: 1,009
Exactly. Thank you el.Gato
Jul 22 2010 1:02AM
0 0
profile picture
nickyp
Posts: 5673 - Karma: 215
Knock, knock
Who's there?
The police. Please open the door, sir, your wife's been murdered.


An Englishman, and Irishman and a Scotsman walk into a bar.
They're alcoholics, and their addiction has cost them their families, homes and jobs
Jul 22 2010 1:04AM
0 0
profile picture
grimlandm
Posts: 15 - Karma: 10
I kinda like that last one
Jul 22 2010 1:45AM
0 0
profile picture
ShredTheGnarnia
Posts: 2544 - Karma: 79
How many mexicans does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Juan


What's a mexicans favorite book store?

Borders
Jul 22 2010 1:53AM
0 0
profile picture
soulskier
Posts: 17806 - Karma: 3,841
A man walks into his house and yells at his wife, ''Honey, I won the lottery! Pack all of your things!!!"
The wife asks "what should I pack where are we going?"
The man replies, "I don't care, pack your stuff and get the fuck out of here."
Jul 22 2010 3:21AM
0 0
profile picture
afterbang_me
Posts: 385 - Karma: 152
hahaha

Jul 22 2010 12:30PM
0 0
profile picture
gus555
Posts: 4170 - Karma: 34
what's an el.Gato
Jul 22 2010 12:32PM
0 0
profile picture
danderson.
Posts: 6560 - Karma: 5,252
Prized posession to the rebels in the movie "The Rundown"
Jul 22 2010 1:25PM
0 0
profile picture
thugaim
Posts: 2181 - Karma: 33
A man walks into a bar.

Hes an alcohol and its destroying his family.
Jul 22 2010 1:27PM
0 0
profile picture
Blurst
Posts: 13577 - Karma: 10,169
just a bit to late
Jul 22 2010 1:30PM
0 0
profile picture
thugaim
Posts: 2181 - Karma: 33
Nickyp posted the shit version of the joke.
Jul 22 2010 1:31PM
0 0
profile picture
Brenone
Posts: 4944 - Karma: 296
What's the cuban national anthem?
Row, row, row your boat.....

Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
Another bar.

What did the Chinese couple name their tan, blue eyed, curly haired baby?
Sum Ting Wong

What do you call 4 Mexicans in quick sand?
Quatro cinco
Jul 22 2010 1:33PM
0 0
profile picture
nickyp
Posts: 5673 - Karma: 215
Yours is the shit version.

Firstly, they're alcoholics, not alcohols.
And secondly, the verbosity and formality of an anti-joke adds to the humour.

Jul 22 2010 3:34PM
0 0
profile picture
inb4_UMAD
Posts: 651 - Karma: 29
why would i tell you?
Jul 22 2010 3:35PM
0 0
profile picture
[tightpants]
Posts: 1529 - Karma: 17
Indeed. To keep the anti-jokes going...



Why did the child fall off the swing?

Because she had lost both arms in an unfortunate lawnmower accident.
Jul 22 2010 3:41PM
0 0
profile picture
.thedude
Posts: 292 - Karma: 16
what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile?


robin. get in the batmobile.
Jul 22 2010 3:44PM
0 0
profile picture
Chokolite
Posts: 1050 - Karma: 23
What did batman say to robin just before they got in the car?
Get in the car.

What's red and smells like blue paint?
Red paint

What's brown and sticky?
A stick.

Why did the little girl fall off the swing?
She had no arms.


Jul 22 2010 3:45PM
0 0
profile picture
AliAgee
Posts: 22 - Karma: 60
Mitch.
Jul 22 2010 3:52PM
0 0
profile picture
nickyp
Posts: 5673 - Karma: 215
Guy 1: "If my boss doesn't take back what he said to me, I'm leaving the company."
Guy 2: "What did he say?"
Guy 1: "Leave the company."
Jul 25 2010 5:35PM
0 0
profile picture
Kellso
Posts: 452 - Karma: 11
Click for larger image
Jul 25 2010 5:41PM
0 0
profile picture
Skittle.
Posts: 2537 - Karma: 718
a guy walks into a bar, the second guy ducks
Jul 25 2010 5:41PM
0 0
profile picture
-Dan
Posts: 7145 - Karma: 52,189
Hedberg.
Jul 25 2010 5:44PM
0 0
profile picture
Mike-O
Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089
A lawyer comes to meet the head of a family on a farm. Near the gate he meets a little kid.

"Son, I have urgent matters to speak with your father."
The boy answers: "He's dead. He was run over by a tractor."

"Oh my..that's...well, may I talk to you mother, then?"
The boy answers: "She's dead too, got run over by a tractor."

Now the lawyer is shocked and starts to get worried.
"But..if your parents are dead then what on Earth are you doing around here all day?"


The boy cheers up, revs the engine and shouts:
"Driving a tractor!"
Jul 25 2010 5:51PM
0 0
profile picture
QuikWildkat
Posts: 23 - Karma: 10
this thread is a joke! oh burn.

seriously, searchbar "jokes" and you will be enlightened
Jul 25 2010 5:53PM
0 0
profile picture
Benson23
Posts: 1713 - Karma: 15
you sir have popped up in alot of threads tonight
Jul 25 2010 6:16PM
0 0
profile picture
thugaim
Posts: 2181 - Karma: 33
lrn2 memes
Jul 25 2010 6:36PM
0 0
profile picture
myster3
Posts: 84 - Karma: 12
Why don't Mexicans play hide and seek?

Cause nobody will look for them?

Jul 25 2010 6:45PM
0 0
profile picture
Thenowhereman42
Posts: 5682 - Karma: 65
So there is this old German Jewish woman, and she wins the lottery.

All of the local news agencies are trying to get an interview with her, and one of them does.

They ask her what the first thing she will do with the money is. She replies "I will celebrate Hitler's birthday". The reporter is shocked, he asks, "But wait, you were in the holocaust, shouldn't you hate Hitler?"

The old woman replies, "Hitler....he was a bastard." She then looks and points at the underside of her wrist. "But he picked a good number."


I also like telling this joke
Click for larger image
Jul 25 2010 6:50PM
0 0
profile picture
Thenowhereman42
Posts: 5682 - Karma: 65
What do you call a Mexican with a rubber toe?

Roberto


Jul 25 2010 6:53PM
0 0
profile picture
SteezeNash
Posts: 96 - Karma: 10

Knock Knock

Who's there?

Knock Knock Knock

.... knock knock knock who?

oh my bad i'm just fond of your knockers.

Jul 25 2010 7:27PM
0 0
profile picture
grilledsteezeyo
Posts: 1419 - Karma: 72
what do u call 5 white guys on a bench?
The NBA

whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a trampoline?
i take my cleets off when i bounce on a trampoline

Jul 26 2010 3:59PM
0 0
profile picture
Brenone
Posts: 4944 - Karma: 296
Why doesn't Mexico have an Olympic Team?
Because all Mexicans who can run, jump, or swim are already in the United States

How do u gey a sweet 80yr old woman to say the "F" word?
Have another sweet 80yr old lady yell BINGO

What's the difference between a Northern fairytale and a Southern fairytale?
A Northern fairytale begins "once upon a time", and a southern fairytale begins "Y'all ain't gonna believe this shit."

What do you call it when an italian had one arm shorter then the other?
A speech impediment

Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
Because they're not going to work in the future either.

Jul 26 2010 4:07PM
0 0
profile picture
.josh.
Posts: 600 - Karma: 18
Why could'nt the girl get up?
She had no legs.

Why did no one help her up?
She had no friends.

Why did she have no friends?
She was fat.

Why was she fat?
She ate her arms and legs.
Jul 26 2010 4:08PM
0 0
profile picture
mtnskier
Posts: 21 - Karma: 23
What animal can you never trust?

A cheetah.
Jul 26 2010 4:17PM
0 0
profile picture
Zump.
Posts: 3338 - Karma: 305
Whats the only thing worse than ten babies in one garbage cans?



One baby in ten garbage cans.
Jul 26 2010 4:28PM
0 0
profile picture
B.Pol
Posts: 1750 - Karma: 59
-Q: A car filled with Mexicans is racing a car filled with black people to see who can drive off the cliff first who wins?

A: Society


-Q: What do you call 10 black people in front of a barn?


A: Old farm equipment


Wow I am a racist bastard........
Jul 26 2010 4:54PM
0 0
profile picture
bromigo
Posts: 630 - Karma: 20

i lol'ed cause i go to boarders and there are absolultyly no mexiacans there

Jul 26 2010 5:06PM
0 0
profile picture
B.Pol
Posts: 1750 - Karma: 59
This is a true statement.
Jul 26 2010 5:09PM
0 0
profile picture
bromigo
Posts: 630 - Karma: 20

whos faster than a black guy running outta a store with a t.v.?

his brother with the dvd player

Jul 26 2010 5:18PM
0 0
profile picture
MichSteeze
Posts: 536 - Karma: 12
oh n00bpwnr you and your racist jokes
Jul 26 2010 10:49PM
0 0
profile picture
bromigo
Posts: 630 - Karma: 20

i forget who told me them can you tell me........

oh wait you did

Jul 26 2010 10:53PM
0 0
profile picture
MichSteeze
Posts: 536 - Karma: 12
the funny thing is i don't know many of them.....maybe maryelle told you them?!?! oh burn
Jul 26 2010 10:57PM
0 0
profile picture
wilksker
Posts: 188 - Karma: -16

sum ting wong hahaha! yes asians....

Jul 26 2010 10:59PM
0 0
profile picture
quixotic
Posts: 6937 - Karma: 2,978
what did the judge say when a skunk walked into the court room?

-odor in the court
Jul 26 2010 10:59PM
0 0
profile picture
megadrop5000
Posts: 45 - Karma: 10

How do chinese people name their kids?

Throw pots and pans down the stairs.

Jul 26 2010 11:10PM
0 0
profile picture
iSmokeweed
Posts: 4793 - Karma: 1,370
what do you do when you see a bleeding mexican?

stop laughing and reload.
Jul 27 2010 12:44AM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-5)