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Suicide?

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WorthDaMoney
Posts: 1140 - Karma: 741
So its not me thats thinking about it, its my friend. he had talked about it a year ago and i didnt really talk to him since because we just grew apart no homo.  anyways we started talking again and he was like "yo we gotta chill this summer, cause its going to be a rough summer" and im like "yea sure" then after i realized what he had actually implied, i was shocked that he was thinking about it again. 

ive tried to get him to talk to people, ive tried to get him to take up hobbies, ive tried to get him to go out to parties and make some friends, but he wont agree to anything.  im one of his "best friends" even though we talk like once a month (just to give you an idea of how many friends he has). he is pretty chill to be around and seems to have a happy life when im with him and a couple of my friends, but then he pulls shit like this out of nowhere.  i would chill with him a lot all summer but i have a job and i need to make money for university, plus i have a girlfriend that will want to hang all the other days.

help me out here NS, im out of ideas and id rather not have to go to a funeral by the end of the summer

PS. if you dont have something supportive/constructive to say, gtfo. honestly this isnt the fucking place for dumb shit
Jun 13 2010 8:53PM
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Style+eeze
Posts: 6901 - Karma: 551
honestly, i have nothing to say. i have never had to experience this for myself or one of my friends. but, all i can say is good luck
Jun 13 2010 8:55PM
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gmack24
Posts: 4636 - Karma: 31
Sounds like a cry for attention and if he was going to do it he already would have....I would honestly talk to his parents and get the kid on some meds. That's your best bet....Don't be afraid to get the kid help even if it means telling his parents and potentially losing your "friendship" for doing so.
Jun 13 2010 8:57PM
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Six.0.Tree-ski
Posts: 4059 - Karma: 67
Talk to his parents if he keeps bringing it up.
Jun 13 2010 8:58PM
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WorthDaMoney
Posts: 1140 - Karma: 741
if it really escalates im willing to spend time with him instead of my gf and maybe get a couple days a week off from work. but only if its necessary , which i hope it wont be
Jun 13 2010 8:58PM
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Blurst
Posts: 13577 - Karma: 10,169
Honestly it sounds like you have tried your hardest to help this kid out. If he is a cool guy and is just not associating himself with people then there is probably something wrong with him. Maybe try to convince him to see a doctor about it.
Jun 13 2010 8:59PM
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WorthDaMoney
Posts: 1140 - Karma: 741
i told his sister a year ago and he got pissed, but she didnt do anything about it. if he continues to talk about it ill let her know again
Jun 13 2010 8:59PM
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Click_Here
Posts: 1728 - Karma: 14
a girl hung herself in the park this weekend where im getting married. wierd
Jun 13 2010 8:59PM
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gmack24
Posts: 4636 - Karma: 31
Dude. you're not a doctor or psychologist. Get the god damn kid some help and go on with your life. You're only as good as the company around you....don't let this kid bring you down. He sounds like a major bitch but it might honestly be a chemical imbalance so try to talk to his parents, as I said before.
Jun 13 2010 9:00PM
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BrewskiJr
Posts: 5738 - Karma: 1,478
Yeah. That is probably a shout for help like someone said above. I would definitely go to his parents and talk to them. Try and find out what it is that he is upset about and act accordingly. You might even consider calling a suicide helpline telling them your situation. Without a doubt, don't do "nothing".
Jun 13 2010 9:01PM
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skiierman
Posts: 28699 - Karma: -5,563
seriously. its tough to do but with some people you HAVE to tell his parents even though he won't want you to. sometimes people need choices made for them. shit is way over your head.
Jun 13 2010 9:03PM
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Proze
Posts: 1094 - Karma: 7
Def keep an eye out and give him support but there mayyy be an attention issue here. People who actually kill themselves dont usually tell anyone they are going to kill themselves. The fact that he didnt the first time after telling you and that he told you this time seems like he doesnt actually want to kill himself. At the same time in not guaranteeing this guy isnt going to do it. I had a really close friend who took a razor blade out of her bathroom cabinet and sliced from her knee all the way up to her hip. Thank god someone found her and got her to the hospital before she bled out but seriously I cant even comprehend what it would be like if she had died. Good luck
Jun 13 2010 9:03PM
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Chief.Queef
Posts: 4427 - Karma: 381
Do not take this lightly. I am dead serious. LIke a alum from my private school that everyone looked up to commited suicide about a month ago. He hung himself in his attic so he wouldnt disturb his family. He did everything to help and was the least selfsish person anyone knew. He was the most popular kid at a 2000+ kid highschool and his RIP group has over 4500 people. Please tell his parents or call the suicide hotline. Please join the R.I.P. Tyler Ryan group on Facebook. Also if your in the boston area there is a Sam Adams benefit concert for his memorial fund on i think the 18th. Please look it up and donate.
Jun 13 2010 9:04PM
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RickAstley
Posts: 953 - Karma: 32
I would say talk to his parents, talk to your parents, ask him to see a doctor. And support him, like spend time with him and make sure he knows he isn't alone.
Jun 13 2010 9:06PM
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WorthDaMoney
Posts: 1140 - Karma: 741
wow. lots of responses. so basically everyone is saying one of two things: he wont do it because he is talking about it too much, and talk to his parents because they can help more than i can. 

what happens if he actually isnt thinking about it because he is just looking for attention and then i tell his parents he is thinking about suicide? would he consider suicide even more because of all the help his parents are imposing on him ?

thanks for all the help NS, i appreciate the serious responses.
Jun 13 2010 9:13PM
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WorthDaMoney
Posts: 1140 - Karma: 741
sorry to hear that man
Jun 13 2010 9:14PM
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ParkLife01
Posts: 378 - Karma: 17
my best friend has tried to alot but luckily failed he doesnt anymore because i got him help
Jun 13 2010 9:15PM
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Proze
Posts: 1094 - Karma: 7
Tell his parents dude you DO NOT want somebodies blood on your hands.
Jun 13 2010 9:15PM
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The_Cube
Posts: 847 - Karma: 211
i hope he dosent commit suicide, when i was in middle school a kid hung himself and it was really bad. i didnt really know him but it effected the whole school
Jun 13 2010 9:17PM
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XtRemE11
Posts: 5680 - Karma: 246
Whats he like normally? like when he doesnt want to do anything is he angry? depressed? sad? or just boring?
i have a friend who seems to be really depressed that i worry about alot. he hasnt said anything about suicide, but the last year or so he has basically turned into a huge asshole, around everyone he knows and thats nice to him. he never wants to do anything, and literally does nothing fun all day. the only "fun" he has is when he's drinking, and he's not even happy then, more like just not as depressed and pissed off. and thats a fucked up way to be, when you have to rely on dumbing your self down to not be depressed.

if i were you, i would really try to get him to get out and do something other than just hang out and party. that shit can make people depressed, when they realize that the highlight of their life is sitting around with company, then sitting around getting drunk. go camping, mountain biking, go shoot guns, or light off fireworks, something super active. he probably needs something to show him that its very easy for life not to suck ass.
and the whole wake up, work, sit around, party, lifestyle is not the answer.
if you cant do that for some reason, then id tell his parents.
Jun 13 2010 9:18PM
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WorthDaMoney
Posts: 1140 - Karma: 741
thanks man that helps a lot
Jun 13 2010 9:21PM
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XtRemE11
Posts: 5680 - Karma: 246
yeah man ive got friends that arent depressed or anything, but just kinda boring people, usually from big city's where you cant really do much. and ill take them out somewhere to go offroading, shoot guns, hiking, boating and cliffjumping, etc.. the type of stuff that alot of them probably havent ever done, and for some reason its like the best thing ever to them. and it feels good cause it kinda changes them a little bit, like makes them realize that theres alot of shit out there to that you just havent ever considered.

so if your friend is the type of person who's not active, never had any hobbies, doesnt get out much, or something like that, something outside thats really active, and sorta "adventure-ish" might help alot.

Jun 13 2010 9:37PM
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WorthDaMoney
Posts: 1140 - Karma: 741
the one thing im afraid of can be easily explained through the situation of a kid at mcdicks feeding the birds.  the kid feels bad for the birds so he throws some fries, but then the birds keep wanting more and more, but he doesnt want to give up all his fries and if he does give them all to the birds, then he has no more to give and theyre both shit out of luck.

but do you think he would always want to go and do extravagant activities if i brought him to do one? or would he realize that life isnt all that bad?
Jun 13 2010 9:46PM
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XtRemE11
Posts: 5680 - Karma: 246
i dunno, i try to get away and do something fun atleast once a week, usually alot more. but thats cause i get bored extremely easy.

if he just never does anything fun, going out and doing something really fun could definatly help him realize that it takes very little effort for life not to suck.

i dont know your friend so i cant say for sure, but almost everyone ive known thats depressed is usually that way because they have very boring non active lifestyles, or because they get into alcohol and drugs, and eventually rely on them to make them happy.
Jun 13 2010 9:53PM
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Aenigma
Posts: 11256 - Karma: 424
I hope that nobody relies on you for support, for their sake.

The first thing I would do is go talk to his family about it. If he actually feels like that, chances are he doesn't care nearly as much about his friends as he does about his parents and siblings. This should come far before even thinking about any sort of medication, because that is kind of a last-ditch effort for when other things don't work. Being on medication to be stable is fucking shitty.

Even if his actions are just a cry for attention, there is still something at the root of it that isn't right. You can't just brush these things aside, otherwise you might have one less friend tomorrow.
Jun 13 2010 9:54PM
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rexalicious.
Posts: 551 - Karma: 57
exactly what i was gonna say. if he seems like he's really close to doing it, talk to his parents and theyll get help for him.
Jun 13 2010 9:55PM
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Darth_Veeder
Posts: 1054 - Karma: -26
Dude, we might sound like dicks, but the only way to really help someone is to get the some REAL help, IE not you. He might hate you for a while, but the best way to avoid the worst outcome of this, is to tell his parents. They need to know, they can talk to him, they can take him to a psychologist. Dont take this lightly, talk to his parents, they can get real help man.
major vibes.
Jun 13 2010 9:56PM
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pmw
Posts: 5760 - Karma: 831
i dont have to much to contribute, so ill talk about my friend.
well, this april, he left for a few weeks out of the blue. after like 3, i messaged him on fb asking if "he was dead" (not the best word choice). he said no. im in a psyche ward, i tried to kill myself.
i always thought he was perfectly happy, he always seemd to be having pretty fun, but like your friend, he didnt have too many friends, and very rarely left his house.
do something. i was friends with this kid, not great, but we had some laughs, and just seeing the line "suicide attempt", i had a pit in my stomach for a while. just knowing that a friend of yours even was thinking that way is extremely unsettling, and trust me, you dont want to ignore this and, have him kill himself, and be left with the feeling you could have helped. trust me, it will not be an easy burden to carry. the general consensus seems to be to talk to his parents, and you really need to to just that.
Jun 13 2010 10:01PM
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p-fo
Posts: 9372 - Karma: 6,155
dont even let it get to the point of an attempt. a friend of a friend tried and failed a couple months ago. that was kind of scary. let me say what everyone else has said again GET HIM HELP NOW!
Jun 13 2010 10:08PM
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Biggie_L1v3S
Posts: 88 - Karma: 6
maybe yo GF has a girl with whom he could be hooked up with. a GF always boosts one's self esteem/confidence. Just thrown it out there...
Jun 13 2010 10:11PM
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Aenigma
Posts: 11256 - Karma: 424
That also has huge potential to backfire and give him a lot more reason to not feel good.

If anything, he should try doing volunteer work of some sort. That way he is not only immersed in people that care about him, but there is also something to give and a reason to be around (in whatever sense you wish to think of it). A girlfriend would be something to cling to in desperation if it was just starting now--a long-standing relationship could be entirely different--but something that has purpose outside of that kind of mutual dependence could be good for him.
Jun 13 2010 10:27PM
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ski-swagga
Posts: 5276 - Karma: 219
I only read a couple posts but, i say tell his parents about it and tell them to get him to a phychiatrist. By him even saying that he will kill himself means he is fucked up and is crying for help. Regardless of if he's going to actually kill himself or not he needs help. You wont be doing anyone a favor by leaving him be because if he does kill himself you will feel extremely guilty. So i say get him to a Phychiatrist stat he and his family will thank you. Hope it goes well. :)
Jun 13 2010 10:50PM
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pRETTyLight5
Posts: 500 - Karma: 85
its something you have to take seriously. especially if you are one of his closest friends. my advice is hang out with him / talk to him about it. let him know that people care for him and need him around
Jun 13 2010 10:56PM
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KFRADtheLaxBro
Posts: 632 - Karma: 10
i know school is almost over for most people, but im guessing you have some sort of student help organization or some thing i woul go to that. we have SAP student assistance program.
Jun 13 2010 11:11PM
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