OK, so my family has a weird last name, not my last name but the rest of my family. So I decided to do a facebook search one night with the last name. Found my uncle, and then like 300 people from Germany, and one girl that went to my college. I sent her a message asking her parents and grandparents name etc.......we weren't sure if we were related, bc I didn't know her parents.
She comes over to meet me, and she comes with her friend from her fb picture. I wasn't sure which was which, and I thought damn that friend is hot. Turns out thats the one related to me. And we figured out she is my 5th cousin. Before I knew she was related to me, I was drunk and I said I'd hook up with her. FML.
Then my suitemmate invites her over to celebrate my birthday. It's my birthday so we all drink, play pong, other people come over, a good time. I then go outside to smoke a cigar, because hey its my bday!
I was outside for maybe 10 minutes, come back in, and my suitemmates door is closed and my cousin is moaning extremely loud, louder than I have ever heard a girl moan. I was livid. I wrote a huge note to my suitemmate and hung it up on our wall. (Mind you I was pretty drunk at this point, the note seemed like a good idea). My friend asked me why I was mad, and I said because John is hooking up with my cousin. My friend goes what are you jealous? Then I realized, WTF!!!!!!
An hour later John (my suitemmate) comes back in my room and says "Hey, just so you know, we didn't have sex, she's allergic to latex"
Later I find out, yeah, he had sex with her, he raw dawgs everyone, and he came a little blood with her. And now she is a lesbian.
^Yeah the ending doesn't have much detail, but not much detail is needed describing his ejaculation.