Replying to Craigslist chicago trolling

taken before the flag.

I am looking for a well season tradesman to come work for me. you must have a full size truck, if it has a plow that would be a bonus. I hate cleaning my driveway after it snows. but a plow is not a make or break deal.

if you have your own tools that would be great. some times I need a fix and have to barrow a few things to cover the cost of latest juice being offered on the street. I am honest though I will give you pawn ticket so it's not a total loss.

the big thing is you need to have credit accounts open with all the big box store retailers. I can collect cash money from the homeowners that we do work for materials and then we can use your credit to buy these items. this way I have cash on hand to pay you for your labor. dont worry I do this all the time with guys. I pay the bill when it comes in the mail. just it's had to get folks to pay for labor that hasn't been done yet. so this is the best way I can guarantee that I will some money on friday for you.

now I dont really know what I am doing as a contractor. I know what a finish product should look like but I have no clue how to build it or bid it. so I am gonna have have to do some bird dogging for me. basically I am good at cashing checks. I always have my pen with me. so I can grab and cash right away.

the pay rate i can afford to pay you is commission based. so if you sell a job for 1000.00 I can give you 15% for the labor and material. the 85% I need because of my spending habits. I dont know how it works in your household but in mine daddy always gets to go shopping. I have all the toys bought and paid for by people who I was able to milk the job on and up sell for thousands every other day. sometimes these old folks will pay thousands for 1 day jobs.

so the bad part about about working for me is this
you know right off the bat that I am gonna most likely steal a few tools from you, you know i am never gonna pay you for the materials we put on your credit card.

but the good news is I will try to swindle people for as much as I can. I am gonna pay you something. might be a few hundred dollars cash but you'll have a few bad checks that you can chase me for. now the best part is I just got approved for a passport. so I can travel out of the us for a while your doing work for me. I have some really goods friends that know their way around using western union. so I will be able to get you money wired from time to time. I do have some checks made out for large sums of money that I could pay you with. I just need you to give me money back.

ok send me your legal name, address, mothers maiden name, date of birth , and s.s. # so I can get you applied for a few things right away.

thanks