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Are you Macgyver?

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F@ll_down
Posts: 167 - Karma: 10
I give you these 3 Items.
-A paperclip
-A banana
-And a donkey
your stuck on an island and have make it to another island 3/4 of a mile away in less than a day.You can only use the items that I gave you. How are you gonna do it?
May 27 2010 7:57AM
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pkityyy
Posts: 380 - Karma: 60
i would probaly just be superman instead macgyver so i don't have to waste time swimming
May 27 2010 8:03PM
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the_moderaper
Posts: 2465 - Karma: 218
kill the donkey by choking it with the banana, mad grose but blow air into its lungs and hold its throat closed and use it for floatation. paperclip its hair to make it pretty
May 27 2010 8:05PM
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PacificRimJob
Posts: 24725 - Karma: 29,944
threads
May 27 2010 8:10PM
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F@ll_down
Posts: 167 - Karma: 10
you are the true Macgyver. Congradulations!!
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May 27 2010 9:08PM
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soulskier
Posts: 17806 - Karma: 3,841
also if you snap its neck and let it die, after sitting in the sun for a day or two the abdomen would fill up with gases making it even more buoyant
May 27 2010 9:12PM
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F@ll_down
Posts: 167 - Karma: 10

and your obvously Bear Grylls!!!

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May 27 2010 9:19PM
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Holte
Posts: 10740 - Karma: 7,816
Guys, donkeys can swim just fine. I'd just kick back on the donkey, smoke the banana peel, and let the donkey all the work. If the donkey wants to stop swimming, motivate it by poking it with the paperclip.
May 27 2010 9:22PM
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F@ll_down
Posts: 167 - Karma: 10

you can be method man

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May 27 2010 9:25PM
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BEARS.
Posts: 5380 - Karma: 696
take the paper clip and dangle the banana in front of the donkey. donkey swims across the body of water while i ride my trusty steed.
May 27 2010 9:27PM
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EthanJPAskier
Posts: 1668 - Karma: 248
HOLY SHIT bahbhbhahhahah
May 27 2010 9:30PM
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kzrstf
Posts: 2778 - Karma: 695
you have the paperclip
May 27 2010 9:40PM
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F@ll_down
Posts: 167 - Karma: 10
paperclip can be code for teleporter.........
May 27 2010 9:51PM
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C-DAWGSTYLEZ
Posts: 832 - Karma: 171
This thread is super dope,
and for good measure i would challenge the donkey in a fair game of chance where i would risk the banana and the donkey his soul. After losing the game   (intentionally i rigged it) i would hand over the banana to the donkey. The donkey would presumably eat the banana as he is probably quite thirsty, i would then play the waiting game. the banana would pass through the donkeys digestive system upon which it would come out the other side as a creamy brown substance, BAM sunscreen. Eventually the donkey will die from heat stroke and exhaustion, this is where the paper clip comes in i have been hiding it behind my ear the entire time to make sure it was kept secret from the donkey. i write a message on the donkey skin and blow up its small intestine to make a make shift flotation device, i then paper clip the note to the  intestine and send it out to see, now its just a matter of time.
oh and i fuck the banana peel.
May 27 2010 9:51PM
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skiminnesota
Posts: 9093 - Karma: 429
i kill the donkey with the paper clip

use paper clip as needle to stitch together donkey carcass into canoe.

eat banana for energy..

May 27 2010 9:53PM
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F@ll_down
Posts: 167 - Karma: 10

you just blew my mind!

i regret giving the Macgyver award out already but...............

+K for the effort

May 27 2010 9:57PM
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Captain_Slow
Posts: 1677 - Karma: 24
use the paper clip to kill the donkey and eat it for energy and use the banana as a flotation device.
May 27 2010 10:01PM
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Nathn
Posts: 2408 - Karma: 63
I'd feed the banana to the donkey so he'd have some energy and have him swim out sorta far. He'd probably get tired before we got there and when a shark came up to eat him, I'd ride the shark to the other side with a paper clip handle sticking out of him.
May 27 2010 10:03PM
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F@ll_down
Posts: 167 - Karma: 10

thank you everyone for making my first thread awesome and suceed in making applejuize jelous

keep them Macgyver skills sharp

May 27 2010 10:19PM
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vailsux.com
Posts: 1769 - Karma: 440
oh god sharks!

the ocean is pure evil
May 27 2010 11:14PM
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fujarome
Posts: 8630 - Karma: 1,561
make the donkey drink the ocean dry until i can simply walk across. Spend my time carving an elaborately detailed penis out of the banana using the paperclip, then when it's done, feed it to the donkey for my own amusement.
May 28 2010 2:22AM
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B@n4naB3nder
Posts: 74 - Karma: 16
Kill the donkey and build a fishing rod out of its bones. Use the intestine as string and the paperclip as a hook. Of course the Banana is the lure, because we know its the favorite food of Mermaids. Catch a mermaid and force her to marry her and show you the city on the bottom of the sea. Live there happily forever and be King of the Sea.
May 28 2010 2:39AM
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geteducated
Posts: 6410 - Karma: 86
eat the donkey for food. make a raft out of logs and vines. use donkey pelt for a sail. eat banana and jerk off into peel as reward. toss paper clip into bottom of ocean.
May 28 2010 2:54AM
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Gnams
Posts: 891 - Karma: 31
Thats nothing. I can swim that in no time. /claim
May 28 2010 7:17AM
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feihlination
Posts: 8356 - Karma: 1,084
but, but, but, speed is distance divided by time
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May 28 2010 7:42AM
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F@ll_down
Posts: 167 - Karma: 10
WHAT IF I GAVE YOU A ARMIDILLO INSTEAD OF A DONKEY.
AND THE PAPERCLIP WAS REALLY A PENCIL SHARPENER.
THE BANANA IS CHANGED TO A WATERMELON...... WHAT HAPPENS NOW
GO!!!
May 28 2010 8:17AM
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feihlination
Posts: 8356 - Karma: 1,084
throw the pencil sharpener away, put the watermelon under one arm and the armadillo under the other. jump into the water and pray that the melon floats and the armadillo paddles for his life just enough so you can sit back and wonder what could have been if you didnt throw that pencil sharpener away.
May 28 2010 8:51AM
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theline
Posts: 1507 - Karma: 92
rip of donkey's tail and fashion a short rope. next gouge the donkey with the paper clip and force it into the water. When a shark is attracted by the blood and busy eating the donkey, throw the rope through it's mouth and hold on. you now have reins. ride the shark to the island, feed it the banana as a reward. name it sparky. at the island is a solid seven. enjoy.
May 28 2010 9:09AM
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petesguitar1
Posts: 358 - Karma: 5
This should be compulsory noob signature!
May 28 2010 9:27AM
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B@n4naB3nder
Posts: 74 - Karma: 16
Wouldn't you just swim in circles trying it like this??
May 28 2010 9:34AM
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feihlination
Posts: 8356 - Karma: 1,084
thats it, you have to use the pencilsharper as a rudder
May 28 2010 11:09AM
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NikkoRETTE
Posts: 9 - Karma: 10
Kill the donkey. Use the paper clip to widdle a bowl out of his skull. use the the banana to bribe a monkey to find me weed. Pack the Bowl. And wait. Micheal Phelps will be along shortly. Then once he's smoked. i ride on his back to the other island.
Jun 1 2010 3:20PM
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Pmoore
Posts: 1802 - Karma: 1,246
Epic. Kill armadillo and use shell as helmet. Shake a cocunut tree and drink/eat the insides and live on the island happily untill help arrives.
Jun 10 2010 7:45PM
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