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Are you Macgyver?

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F@ll_down
Posts: 167 - Karma: 10
I give you these 3 Items.
-A paperclip
-A banana
-And a donkey
your stuck on an island and have make it to another island 3/4 of a mile away in less than a day.You can only use the items that I gave you. How are you gonna do it?
May 27 2010 7:57AM
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Static
Posts: 8553 - Karma: 4,089
I'd use my stuck
May 27 2010 8:05AM
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mer-man
Posts: 1079 - Karma: 10
well...

i would eat the banana. kill the donkey just for good measure then get in the water and swim there myself
May 27 2010 8:07AM
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Mr_pretzel
Posts: 4616 - Karma: 1,289
use the paperclip to kill the donkey.
Build a raft from the donkeys bones and use the fat for flotation.
Eat the banana.
May 27 2010 8:09AM
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F@ll_down
Posts: 167 - Karma: 10
^
i like it
May 27 2010 8:11AM
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wintersway
Posts: 5115 - Karma: 128
eat the banana. get energy.

swim. its only 3/4 of a mile.
May 27 2010 8:46AM
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snwbrdmilf
Posts: 22441 - Karma: 2,805
Use the paper clip to hold my hair back, eat the banana, give the donkey a farewell pat on the head and swim 3/4 of a mile.

Here's the real question:
Click for larger image
May 27 2010 8:53AM
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Mr_pretzel
Posts: 4616 - Karma: 1,289
use the cardboard!
May 27 2010 9:39AM
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ECB
Posts: 6991 - Karma: 622
Assuming the donkey was code word for a telephone, I would call my boys from Detroit for help.  They would reach the island in about 5 hours by helicopter.  They would fly me to the other island.

While waiting, assuming that donkey is code for a solid 7 in a bikini, I would be well entertained, and get my swag on.  And assuming a paper clip was code for a camera, I would have pics so it did happen.
May 27 2010 10:02AM
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Pmoore
Posts: 1802 - Karma: 1,246
Hahahaha best idea yet
May 27 2010 10:19AM
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Beer=Yum
Posts: 334 - Karma: 11
i like your moves
May 27 2010 10:21AM
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nickyp
Posts: 5673 - Karma: 215
Since the question doesn't explicitly state that the island is deserted, I'd find a local fisherman, and offer him the donkey in return for a trip across to the other island.
May 27 2010 10:28AM
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oreopancake.
Posts: 2596 - Karma: 21
The real question is:

A Donkey, banana, and paperclip. You have to fuck one, kill one, and marry one. Go.
May 27 2010 10:33AM
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Mr.Plank
Posts: 535 - Karma: 82
Marry the Banana, Fuck the Paperclip, Kill the Donkey.
May 27 2010 10:38AM
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F@ll_down
Posts: 167 - Karma: 10

fuck the donkey, kill the banana, and marry the paperclip

bananas will go easier than a donkey, why risk getting your ass kicked by a crazy mutant horse looking thing

May 27 2010 10:41AM
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Mr_pretzel
Posts: 4616 - Karma: 1,289
fuck the banana kill the paperclip and marry the donkey.
May 27 2010 10:42AM
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O-A_s
Posts: 373 - Karma: 58
Fuck the donkey with the banana. Then kill it with the paperclip and eat it.
May 27 2010 10:46AM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,272
eat the banana for energy and then swim
May 27 2010 10:48AM
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F@ll_down
Posts: 167 - Karma: 10

what if your 3 bagillion miles away........

May 27 2010 10:50AM
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P3TER
Posts: 972 - Karma: 438
have fun fucking a paperclip
May 27 2010 10:55AM
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VT_FLO
Posts: 3806 - Karma: 147
Done it before, fucked up the toilet, make sure to rip it into small enough pieces lol
May 27 2010 10:58AM
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F@ll_down
Posts: 167 - Karma: 10
theres no dank bud on the island................
May 27 2010 10:58AM
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Mr.Plank
Posts: 535 - Karma: 82
Click for larger image
May 27 2010 10:59AM
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soulskier
Posts: 17806 - Karma: 3,841
swim 3/4 of a mile because its 3/4 of a mile
May 27 2010 11:05AM
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F@ll_down
Posts: 167 - Karma: 10
the average speed of a donkey with a full 6 7/8" banana in its system is in fact 285 MPH. I would look around the island for a batch of cookies from the armidillos(they make the best fucking cookies ever)
with the cookies from the armidillos said donkey could exceed running speeds of 327MPH!!!!
May 27 2010 11:09AM
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Travapple.
Posts: 6787 - Karma: 88
use the paperclip to kill the donkey, then i would eat the donkey and banana and swim.
May 27 2010 11:28AM
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P3TER
Posts: 972 - Karma: 438
In Soviet Russia.....





















Paperclip Fucks You!!
May 27 2010 11:33AM
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F@ll_down
Posts: 167 - Karma: 10
whats a donkey?
May 27 2010 12:39PM
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Norred
Posts: 3520 - Karma: 13
there's no way.
May 27 2010 1:10PM
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snwbrdmilf
Posts: 22441 - Karma: 2,805
btw - you gotta change your icon. You are not caleb. =)
May 27 2010 1:42PM
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1337
Posts: 31054 - Karma: 29,243
change it for him =)
May 27 2010 2:01PM
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beardstatus
Posts: 800 - Karma: 19

well i'm stuck on an island where there is a sandbar right to the other one, so i wouldn't use any of that shit and just walk.

stupid game, i win.

May 27 2010 2:05PM
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pomme-de-terre
Posts: 3915 - Karma: 703
i would stay on the first island and fuck the shit outta that donkey.

May 27 2010 2:36PM
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kramerbradley35
Posts: 163 - Karma: 10
nailed it.banna porn.its an epidemic
May 27 2010 2:39PM
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ECB
Posts: 6991 - Karma: 622
The only catch the OP forgot to mention was that the donkey was a male, with a special type of AIDS that if infected in humans kills them within 37 minutes, sort of like a venom. Would you still?
May 27 2010 2:39PM
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Ski_The_East10
Posts: 582 - Karma: 3
easily one of the funniest thread in a while
May 27 2010 2:41PM
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snwbrdmilf
Posts: 22441 - Karma: 2,805
I do have the replacement "I steal icons" icon I made for Ben when he was getting mad at kids taking his. Muahahahaha
May 27 2010 2:43PM
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Travapple.
Posts: 6787 - Karma: 88
you are an icon thief as well.
May 27 2010 2:44PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51652 - Karma: 162,333
I'd make a stick figure out of the paper clip, use the bandana on my head, and make a raft that the donkey has to swim across the ocean. Maybe pull him onto the raft and cut him up with the paper clip and eat him then drift.
May 27 2010 2:45PM
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F@ll_down
Posts: 167 - Karma: 10

my fault with the icon. i use it for shift518 and club civic. didnt know anybody else had it here

May 27 2010 3:35PM
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Zump.
Posts: 3338 - Karma: 305
braid the three paper clips together and crush one end with a rock, as you know this could be very sharp. then, i shank the donkey and skin it. I then make a flotation device out of the donkey by tieing the legs together and inflating it through the asshole....but theres one problem. the ass is still gaping open. what to do?

plug the anus of the donkey with the banana, boom, i'm at the new island
May 27 2010 3:44PM
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Zump.
Posts: 3338 - Karma: 305
whoops, thought i got 3 paper clips. i'll just do the same thing with one. it will just take me longer though

sorry for the dub post
May 27 2010 3:46PM
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NW_Rider
Posts: 2580 - Karma: 314
Then this island is not on earth.
May 27 2010 3:50PM
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Zump.
Posts: 3338 - Karma: 305
its going to be air tight. bear grylls did something like it with a sheepskin when he was in ireland
May 27 2010 3:50PM
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MadSteezin
Posts: 4572 - Karma: 936
eat the banana, kill the donkey with the paperclip and then find a part of him that floats well and kick my feet in the water to propell myself. haha
May 27 2010 3:57PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51652 - Karma: 162,333
sharks will eat you
May 27 2010 3:59PM
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Dan-Man
Posts: 7488 - Karma: 3,621
I am McGruber
May 27 2010 4:03PM
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BenWhit
Posts: 4654 - Karma: 3,256

sharpen the paperclip, kill the donkey, skin it, tie it so that it has an opening like a bag, use the technique by which you swing it over your head into the water to create an air pocket like a life-jacket and swim. eat the banana and raw fat for energy

May 27 2010 4:03PM
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Mr.Luke
Posts: 2441 - Karma: 166
What you do is...

You take the paperclip, insert it into the banana, insert the banana in the donkey, and BOOM! The donkey is buoyant, you've got yourself an easy floaty to the other island.

You could also...

Use the paper clip to defuse the bomb the evil Ian Compton put on the island, kill the donkey, eat the donkey, and use the banana as a helicopter to fly on over the the other island.
May 27 2010 6:34PM
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wesley.
Posts: 6483 - Karma: 1,049
fuck the banana, marry the paperclip, kill the donkey
May 27 2010 7:27PM
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F@ll_down
Posts: 167 - Karma: 10
Mcgruber can simply not match up to the ass kicking skills of MacGyver. Hes like the Chuck Norris of the past
May 27 2010 7:57PM
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