The Poop to End All Poops

Ok, so some of you might know, a few weeks ago inthe Cider Appreciation Thread, POUNDTOWN_USA$ and I decided we were to eatcertain foods, and drink cider, so basically our poop should be, The Poop toEnd All Poops.

We decided on a day last week to do this, at aroundthe same time. There is a hype thread, and I'm sure POUNDTOWN_USA$ will posthis story also, but for me, here is my story.

I got off work, and started drinking a few cups ofcider, and some junky food, cookies, greasy burger, etc. I could not get anycorn, we had it for dinner the night before and I was too lazy to go to thestore. I figured I still poop nice though. I then went to the local school toplay in an adult league basketball (yes, I'm an adult). When I got home Icouldn't poop, which I blame on playing basketball. I was mad that this poopwasn't happening, so the next day, I got off work at 1, and decided to go tothe grocery store.

While shopping, I ordered 1 lunch order of GeneralTso's Chicken, Extra Spicy. I then continued to shop, and could not find cider,so I settled for Simply Apple Apple Juice, which taste pretty similar to cider,and should have same effect. I then also bought two ears of corn, mainly forthe poop. I did not get cabbage, mainly because it was picked over at thestore, and the worker was getting the next order that afternoon, so I figuredextra spicy general tso's, corn, and apple juice should be good (after alreadydrinking cider the day before).

Pics or it didn't happen, so here i a pic of thefood before I ate it. (I'm using imageshack so I pray it works, lately picshave been hit or miss when uploading)

So I started to eat the chicken, and boy was itspicy! Perfect for a nasty poop! I also drank 8 cups of the apple juice whileeating the chicken. My stomach started to rattle, but I had to eat the corn! SoI started boiling the water for the corn, and then I almost threw up. No, notfrom the food, from the smell. I live in the country, and the farmer plantssome a different crop near our house every year. Well, this day was the day tospread the manure. For those of you who don't know what manure is, its: Manureis organic matter used as organic fertilizer in agriculture. Well by organic,that means in my case, pure cow shit. And the wind was blowing, and my windowsto my kitchen were open. I was choking on the smell of cow shit, my stomach wasrattling, and I could think was about eating the corn! Well it's very hard totake a pic of the manure since after he drops it, he cultivates the land, but Imanaged to take a pic of how close the field is to my house, so you canunderstand the smell, and how potent it was (Pic take from my kitchen window,field is right above my jeep in the picture, where it looks like dirt, and thefield goes behind my garage for about 10 acres long)

So I let the corn boil, and I was bored trying notto throw up from the smell of the manure, so here is a pic of the corn I took!

So after eating the corn, and finishing the 1.75Liters of Apple juice, destroying the general tso's chicken, I waited. I waitedabout 30 minutes, and I couldn't wait any longer. I had to poop! I sit down onthe toilet, and start to poop. One decent sized turd comes out, my guess isabout 8 inches, not even close to my biggest (which in college was 18 inches,yes, we measured) And the poop was firm. I thought wow, is this really all Ihave to poop?! I could see a few little pieces of corn in the poop, more likehalf pieces of corn, and the poop had almost an orange look to it. I wassomewhat let down. I was expecting the runs with corn just pouring out, and myasshole burning. But still, it was a unique poop, so I took a pic! (In myhouse, I used to always clog the toilet with my very large poops, so we got anew toilet, and it is extra large, so a good deal of the turd is under thepart, so the turd is really about 8 inches long, and notice the little piecesof corn floating around in the toilet. At least I hope it is corn)

So the next day I'm at work and I have to poop, soI figure no big deal, I go poop. When I go to wipe, the poop on the toiletpaper was orange. No, I don't have pics of this, because I don't have a cameraat work, and my phone was in my car, and I figured it would be a bad idea tokeep the toilet paper, considering I work in a middle school. It was about thecolor orange from the pic, like a dark orange, a new color to my poop.

So that's my story, and also my 1000th post.

Sparknotes: Apple Juice+Corn+General Tso's+Smell of Manure=Orange Poopwith flakes of corn