wowzers

HOLY SHIT?! until xmas? sucks to be you..sorry
Penny...i love JOE McNO-NAME!!! please marry me!

Yeah, surgery's always scary, especially since beforehand they have to tell you all the ways you can die or have your life ruined if the surgeon fucks up. But when they do that, just laugh, cause it really never happens.



Girls don't like sensitive guys. Since I don't treat women like objects, I have to treat objects like women

knee surgery is a bitch, don't worry too much about it though. A friend of mine goes under tommorow, he got hit by a drunk driver a few years ago. now they have to take muscle out of his thigh and use it to reconstruct the ligament in his knee. in a year they have to do the same procedure again. this is his third surgery on just that one knee, he's had 5 others so far for his other knee and hip(2 on the knee, 3 on the hip), and by the time everything is finished he'll have had 11 surgeries. he's also had 2 or 3 cat scans to check for permanent brain damage. one of the many reasons I have no sympathy for people charged with DUI.


'hey look guys! For a dollar you can get a free condom!'
- a friend when she saw the condom dispenser in the bathroom

'We could give him milk after filling his epipen with heroin and turn him into a drug addict'
- a guy thinking of ways to get revenge on someone who is deathly allergic to milk