Nasty Arby's Employee

I thought it was funny.


I am seeking an employment opportunity at your Arby’s. I feel that I am very qualified for this position. I have acquired many useful skills in my seventeen years. Skills that I believe could potentially make your establishment less gross.

I have recently been employed at the local eatery, in my home town. Unfortunately, due to my lack of cleanliness, I was let go. I truly believe that my phobia of showers will benefit your Arby’s. It will be beneficial due to the fact that I am still probably cleaner than the majority of your other employees.

I feel as if it is my fate to continue on the tradition of unsanitary employee’s at Arby’s. Although I will more than likely look like the average Arby’s worker, nasty, please do not let my looks deceive you. My mental capacity has a much larger capability than what the average Arby’s workers does. I, unlike all other Arby’s employee’s I have known, passed sixth grade mathematics. The sheer fact that I have typed the entire letter is proof of my capabilities.

I realize that I will more than likely start out as a lower level employee. It is my wish that I will quickly work the ranks to the coveted cashier’s position. My social skills are much better than the guy that took my last order at Arby’s.

Once again, I believe that my skills will greatly improve your restaurant. Well, maybe not greatly, but I am pretty sure my presence would benefit your establishment, at least a little bit. My experience in the industry would allow me to quickly excel at frying the curly fries or slicing the undercooked roast beef. Thanks for your time; I hope to become an average Arby’s employee.