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Don't tell a police officer

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ax_murderer
Posts: 3322 - Karma: 30
things you dont tell a plice officer. official.

a) not except the nunchucks in the back.
my buddy bob(yes serius his names bob) got pulled over witha bunch of bows and baskets in his car, still have no idea why wanna say baby shower, but the cop asked anything you want to declare..."nothing......except the nunchucks in the trunk." go his whole care searched.

b) "look sir"
in trouble with officer genesse, i say as he pours out my 40's, hey look officer gennnsesse, genssesse,(sp), we were drinking genesse 40oz. "That is not amusing."
alrighty then


so stupid things you don't tell a cop:
May 11 2010 6:42PM
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TheDude
Posts: 2058 - Karma: 117

wut?

i just killed a guy wanna see?

hey wanna go kill a stripper and then smoke some crack?

May 11 2010 6:45PM
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FiveCrew
Posts: 436 - Karma: 157
they dont like the phrase "fuck the police"
May 11 2010 6:45PM
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clandemush
Posts: 589 - Karma: 53
that you have a gun. they usually dont like that
May 11 2010 6:45PM
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.jr
Posts: 5313 - Karma: 356
Your drunkenness doesn't amuse me.
May 11 2010 6:46PM
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Billek
Posts: 5665 - Karma: 98
"Yeah, I'll declare my right to privacy, you have no reason to search my car."

Despite the fact that I didn't have anything, it is good practice to tell cops to fuck off.
May 11 2010 6:46PM
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Hermondo
Posts: 1244 - Karma: 52
what did i just read?
May 11 2010 6:47PM
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BootySpunk.
Posts: 8148 - Karma: 84
This.
May 11 2010 6:47PM
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Crack.
Posts: 6020 - Karma: 84
"Your wife was giving me great road dome"
May 11 2010 6:47PM
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jeremy.g
Posts: 4931 - Karma: 459
op you are very confusing in your inebriated state.
May 11 2010 6:52PM
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ECB
Posts: 6991 - Karma: 622
YES!
Officers can't search your car unless you give them permission, or they have probable cause (by saying you have nunchucks, that is good enough for probable cause).  That being said, if they ask if you have any drugs, you say no.  Then they say, well you don't mind if I look around then right?  You say, I do mind, and I do not give you permission.  Then they will have to have probable cause, which will require them to bring the canine unit in to smell for drugs.  Now if you have drugs you are fucked, but if you don't have drugs, well, then you get to watch the cop waste a lot of time, and you get to see the dogs, and you make quite a scene. 
Here's the debate, how long can a cop keep you waiting for the canine unit to show up?  Legally, the law says something along the lines of reasonable time, so what is reasonable?  If you have to wait 5 minutes that is reasonable, but what if the cop makes you wait 5 hours?  (Because the nearest canine unit is in another city, and you are in the middle of no where?)  Well, then depending on the judge and interpretation of the law, you might not be responsible for anything then.

May 11 2010 6:53PM
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Morgen.
Posts: 1199 - Karma: 61

i was thinking the same thing. i've read it three times and dont get what he was saying.

but i'd make sure i wouldnt tell the cop about how fucking high i was when he pulled me over.

May 11 2010 6:55PM
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1337
Posts: 31054 - Karma: 29,231
yes officer that's weed
May 11 2010 6:56PM
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Crack.
Posts: 6020 - Karma: 84
would a cop really call the dogs? Seems like a waste of resources for a few kids smoking weed.
May 11 2010 6:56PM
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ECB
Posts: 6991 - Karma: 622
Well, thats according to my dad, who has been involved in law for 20+ years now.....

I'm sure if its just a kid that looks high then no, but sometimes, cops want to get a bust, and for whatever reason they will call the dogs in....

my advice, if you dont have anything, try to see if you can get the dogs in haha
May 11 2010 6:58PM
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MAPLE_SYRUP
Posts: 1910 - Karma: 68

twas i speeding occifer? i hadnt nothin to drunk today   *pisses pants*

May 11 2010 7:02PM
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skithesprings
Posts: 9086 - Karma: 1,349
yes occifer?

I swear to drunk im not god!

im not as think as you drunk i am!
May 11 2010 7:06PM
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SARTRON
Posts: 2969 - Karma: 87
hi ax, a little intoxicated?
May 11 2010 7:18PM
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Blurst
Posts: 13577 - Karma: 10,169
whatever you do and I mean WHATEVER, don't give the police the *winky thumbs*.
May 11 2010 7:20PM
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Barefootin_Fiend
Posts: 7618 - Karma: 4,727
I know for a fact that saying, "Fuck you cop! What are you gonna do? Arrest me?" will, in fact, get you thrown in the slammer. Thanks vodka.
May 11 2010 7:22PM
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Deletedtoday
Posts: 4060 - Karma: 398
NEVER CALL HIM DUDE. they don't like that
May 11 2010 7:41PM
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BC.
Posts: 1551 - Karma: 86
ignore the shovel, lye, and zip ties in the back. they are for recreational purposes only I promise.
May 11 2010 7:43PM
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p_n
Posts: 573 - Karma: 26
this.
May 11 2010 7:45PM
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AntifreezeSteeze
Posts: 1643 - Karma: 53
horrible idea. dogs will fuck your shit up. interior...bye bye.
May 11 2010 7:49PM
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ECB
Posts: 6991 - Karma: 622
If they do, you are not responsible for that unless you have drugs in your car.......

That being said, if you rental car haha!
May 11 2010 7:50PM
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paige.
Posts: 1932 - Karma: 924
Apparently female cops don't like it when you tell them to "blow me" as my friend was lucky enough to find out.
May 11 2010 7:58PM
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Hermondo
Posts: 1244 - Karma: 52
your icon is a giant poster in my room
May 12 2010 2:41AM
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[~_~]
Posts: 20239 - Karma: 1,273
My good friend was driving drunk when he noticed up ahead that a police officer had pulled someone over. He then made the wise decision to roll down his window, flip the bird, and yell "FUCK THE POLICE" as he drove by. The officer immediately got into his car, flipped a U-turn, and pulled over my intoxicated pal.
This was during slush cup weekend, so he was also dressed as the Jolly Green Giant. He had full green body paint, wearing nothing but tennis shoes and green short shorts. I'm sure the cop got a good laugh out of this, especially since he had Discovery Channel's Alaska State Troopers camera crew following him around.
My friend was arrested on national television for flipping off/swearing at a state trooper whilst driving drunk dressed as the Jolly Green Giant. I love my friends.
May 12 2010 2:51AM
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HangThePope
Posts: 749 - Karma: 19
"i'm sorry for speeding officer, but i couldn't help it. you see, after i reached down to pick up my bag of crack i looked back up at the road just in time to see that i was in a school zone. as i blew through a stop sign i couldn't avoid hitting the 3 children in the cross walk. fortunately, i was able to barely miss the crossing guard, but when i swerved to dodge her my gun fell off my lap, and somehow got lodged between the brake and gas pedal, forcing me to speed out of control."
May 12 2010 3:01AM
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shortdawg
Posts: 1359 - Karma: 19
so true
May 12 2010 3:02AM
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BravoWhiskey5280
Posts: 4020 - Karma: 520
I was watching cops today and they pulled over some lady who was intoxicated, she like everyone tried to convince the cop to not give her the ticket. She pulled my brother is an officer card but instead of saying that she said "my brother is a police car" haha. She went to jail
May 12 2010 3:25AM
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Kajex
Posts: 1069 - Karma: 178
haha or bro... or man.... somehow my first time drunk i managed to achieve all three of these no-nos. still love the fact they let me go without anything.
May 12 2010 4:32AM
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sereguy
Posts: 134 - Karma: 20
Yup. If I was a officer and I thought you had possetion I defently would, I mean what else would I be doing? patroling around the same streets? unless their was a response call. Asides I imagine anytime you get to work with the k9 section that its a good day
May 12 2010 4:32AM
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rickysick
Posts: 54 - Karma: -6
"Ill be honest, im fucking high but i just finished all my weed so you don have anything on me." my mate to a cop, got away with it
May 12 2010 5:12AM
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[tightpants]
Posts: 1529 - Karma: 17
Click for larger image
May 12 2010 7:21AM
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mer-man
Posts: 1079 - Karma: 10
ya srsly wtf?
May 12 2010 7:38AM
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clandemush
Posts: 589 - Karma: 53
fantastic.
May 12 2010 9:34AM
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bhill2.0
Posts: 6573 - Karma: 197
This thread made me realize how often I call police officers " Dude" or "Man"

so funny
May 12 2010 9:53AM
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the-big-lepowski
Posts: 1212 - Karma: 541
no sir, there is no blood in my alcohol system.

I'm also fond of the empty beer bottle for piss bucket on road trips.  as immature as Dumb and DUmber was, I found my inspiration
May 12 2010 10:11AM
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.travis.
Posts: 1737 - Karma: 46
This happened to me this winter.  I got pulled over not too long ago. The cop came up to my car (keep in mind that I don't smoke weed. at all.) and said I smell something funny, have you been smoking marijuana? I told him no and that I never smoke weed. He asked if he could search my car and I told him I don't consent to any searches. He said too bad because I smell weed, and went and got a dog. There I was 10 minutes outside of Bethel at 9am with a fucking drug dog going though my shit. I had a ton of stuff as I was going to be skiing for two days and sleeping in my car. All of it was thrown out. It was so funny when he didn't find anything though.

Moral of the story? If a cop wants to search your shit bad enough, either way they can.  
May 12 2010 10:15AM
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Billek
Posts: 5665 - Karma: 98
They think all skiers and snowboarders have weed on them for sure. That's why it's not a good idea to do a rolling hotbox coming home from the mountain, which I do way too often.
May 12 2010 10:22AM
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Steezius_Maximus
Posts: 1152 - Karma: 22
Click for larger image
PLAY TRACK 2


May 12 2010 10:55AM
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RockyMountnHigh
Posts: 990 - Karma: 14

haha that reminded me of this start at :40 kid calls him dude like 3 times the cop flips shit.

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May 12 2010 11:23AM
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RockyMountnHigh
Posts: 990 - Karma: 14
someone who isnt as retarded as me please embed +k
May 12 2010 11:26AM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,272
.
May 12 2010 11:30AM
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Travapple.
Posts: 6787 - Karma: 88
hahaha thats such a sick idea.
May 12 2010 11:50AM
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pomme-de-terre
Posts: 3915 - Karma: 703
why would you tell a police officer anything?

fucking snitches...
May 12 2010 12:14PM
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Balto
Posts: 25985 - Karma: 4,404
May 12 2010 12:16PM
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Kirsakid
Posts: 1793 - Karma: 126
Yo got any bud dude
or if he pulls you over for
speeding say i was just on my way to rob theese guys
May 12 2010 1:04PM
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aquinn
Posts: 824 - Karma: 217
Cop: Have you had anything to drink tonight?

You: Do shots count?
May 12 2010 1:08PM
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Proze
Posts: 1094 - Karma: 7
Its funny that you think Miranda rights actually work. The police can and will fuck you, by saying no you cant search my car, they twist that into you being guilty and have probable cause, it usually prolongs and worsens the situation. The cops own you, they can do close to whatever the fuck they want and you cant do jack shit about it, you think the court is going to side with the police or you? The best protection you have is the fifth amendment or the right to remain silent. That way, when they find the quap in your backpack in the trunk you can say I choose my right to remain silent. If you had previously tried to stand up to them they would say that you were behaving as if you had something to hide and the evidence will be legitimately seized. If you say nothing, your attorney can usually find where the officer broke the law and the case will be thrown out.
May 12 2010 2:58PM
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