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October, 2024

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I got CB'd by my girlfriends dog

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JakeAssBeatClap
Posts: 6673 - Karma: 2,537

CB is cock blocked by the way anyway heres the tale.

if you dont want to read the story basically i got cockblocked by her cute little dog in  a doggy cast. now read underlined portion.

I was out of town for a week and i haven't had sex since last monday so today is the first chance i get to do it again. So after class i get to my girlfriend's house and after 30 minutes her dad leaves so im thinking its go time!!! but no last week one of her dogs got bit by a coyote and the other was eaten by it. the one who was just bit survived so he has been in a little doggy cast so after her dad leaves i start making my moves then the little guy comes in all cute in his cast wanting to lay down with us so he does and before i know it i have to leave minus sex im pretty bummed but i was like itll be going down tomorrow then i realized i cant see her tomorrow because she cant chill. and wednesday her periods starting im about to go like 2 weeks without sex...

anyway the real reason i posted this is to wonder whats the weirdest or funniest way youve been cock blocked?? +k for laughter

Apr 12 2010 9:37PM
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PaleCelery
Posts: 7228 - Karma: 609
I go cock blocked my a spider once, I was gonna fuck her, then a spider came out of her puss and bit my dick off.
Apr 12 2010 9:38PM
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Motherfucka
Posts: 1179 - Karma: 26

One of my friends in middle school, the best fighter there too, liked men. And me. So he interupted alot.

Apr 12 2010 9:39PM
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HIRO
Posts: 548 - Karma: 34
hahaha wtf that's so random
Apr 12 2010 9:41PM
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RockyMountnHigh
Posts: 990 - Karma: 14
you win.
Apr 12 2010 9:41PM
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Shadows
Posts: 8068 - Karma: 43
the dog at this girls house i like to frequent blocks the shit out of me all the damn time. and she lets it which is wack cause im not about to kick the fuckin puppy off the bed. thats mean.
Apr 12 2010 9:42PM
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Joshua.
Posts: 2957 - Karma: 6,230
dude you gotta take charge. if the dog tries to block you just push it away and get to business.
Apr 12 2010 9:45PM
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JakeAssBeatClap
Posts: 6673 - Karma: 2,537
I know right!!! fucking plus k for feeling the pain and to anyone who says kick the dog off the bed your not about to kick a dog off the bed in  a little puppy cast its not right hahahahah
Apr 12 2010 9:46PM
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JosephStalin
Posts: 1673 - Karma: 100
sucks to be you going 2 weeks without sex, ive only gone 16 years so far
Apr 12 2010 9:48PM
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JakeAssBeatClap
Posts: 6673 - Karma: 2,537
its easy to not have sex when you dont have someone whowants to do it with you... its when you have a girlfriend that wants it but you just cant do it is whats killer
Apr 12 2010 9:50PM
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BWalmer
Posts: 9141 - Karma: 12,883
Truth...

And I know EXACTLY how you feel...my GF is going to school in Baltimore, I live in CT...I usually have to last several weeks, if not months, it sucks.
Apr 12 2010 10:07PM
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elemeno89
Posts: 1582 - Karma: 79
pics or it didnt happen.
Apr 12 2010 10:10PM
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Chickendodo
Posts: 1426 - Karma: 33
lol, 2 weeks. Try sex, once or twice every 3 weeks.  Long distance relationships FTL.
Apr 12 2010 10:12PM
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Static
Posts: 8554 - Karma: 4,089
just fuck her on the rag you pussy
Apr 12 2010 10:22PM
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ONTerriible
Posts: 1210 - Karma: 126
i hope your ready to fight the red army
Apr 12 2010 10:26PM
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SteezyOhio
Posts: 6044 - Karma: 60
should let the dog give you a rim job while you were fucking the chick..... best sex you'll ever have!


Apr 12 2010 10:29PM
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Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,014
earn your red wings
Apr 12 2010 10:31PM
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Gnarshred
Posts: 5670 - Karma: 18
haha I was about to say, Just get creative with some peanut butter. no reason the dog can't join the fun hahahah
Apr 12 2010 10:32PM
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EthanJPAskier
Posts: 1668 - Karma: 248
HAHAHA
Apr 12 2010 10:33PM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
well yeah, you sleep with your dog far more often than you do with your girlfriend.
Apr 12 2010 10:36PM
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SteezyOhio
Posts: 6044 - Karma: 60
dont even question me girl! what happens in Tyler's bed, stays there, unless ofcourse the sheets need washed, then it goes down the laundry shoot, into the washer, dryer, laundry basket, then back up stairs, but basically it ends where it started, so it stays there!
Apr 12 2010 10:38PM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
you just don't want people to know about the dirty things you do in bed with your dog.
Apr 12 2010 10:40PM
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BenWhit
Posts: 4654 - Karma: 3,256
When the river runs red take the muddy path instead...
Apr 12 2010 10:48PM
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Zent33zy
Posts: 1546 - Karma: 389
hahaha +K
Apr 12 2010 10:51PM
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Zent33zy
Posts: 1546 - Karma: 389
gonna get with my friends cousin on a ski trip
get cockblocked by her dad
most awkward moment ive had in my life
Apr 12 2010 10:52PM
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CypressGrove
Posts: 1116 - Karma: 12
dude, it aint like her mouth is bleeding
Apr 12 2010 10:52PM
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SteezyOhio
Posts: 6044 - Karma: 60
yes, you have caught me. I'm in a physical relationship with a 4 year old chocolate Labrador. time to change my facebook relationship status so the whole world knows!
Apr 12 2010 10:52PM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
YEAH! "she keeps me warm at night"
Apr 12 2010 11:05PM
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SteezyOhio
Posts: 6044 - Karma: 60
you've obviously never felt the warmth between man and dog,  when they are laying naked, as god meant it to be, in harmony, cuddling under a down blanket, and enjoying the warm summer night.
Apr 12 2010 11:08PM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
hey, why are you getting so defensive? i never said it was a bad thing.
Apr 12 2010 11:10PM
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Deezy
Posts: 4580 - Karma: 1,004
dont worry, i got the video right here...
Apr 12 2010 11:14PM
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SteezyOhio
Posts: 6044 - Karma: 60
......... bwahahaha ?

Apr 12 2010 11:15PM
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NataliePortman
Posts: 1382 - Karma: 84
Apr 12 2010 11:16PM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
.......ruh roh ;)
Apr 12 2010 11:22PM
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Testicles
Posts: 1432 - Karma: 13
thissssss
Apr 13 2010 1:31AM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
Click for larger image
Apr 13 2010 2:37AM
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Mooserz
Posts: 2945 - Karma: 32
I was getting into it with her and her dog walked in, sat right on the couch and stared at us. it made things a little awkward
Apr 13 2010 6:25AM
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s_a_m
Posts: 916 - Karma: 58
nose bleed
Apr 13 2010 10:11AM
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PhaedeD
Posts: 11498 - Karma: 327
i get cock blocked by funny shows on tv..
Apr 13 2010 10:36AM
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+[wall.e]+
Posts: 1928 - Karma: 18
My relationship in a nutshell.
Apr 13 2010 10:58AM
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SmokeyTheBear
Posts: 492 - Karma: 24
hahaha this
Apr 13 2010 11:39AM
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Steeze_Cake
Posts: 613 - Karma: 16
started off by getting head from this wicked hot girl, turned out she recently got her braces removed and they had to place a palet on the roof of her mouth. Yeah, that hurt. Ended any sexual confrontation from that point till..... the next day.
Apr 13 2010 11:51AM
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EvanMeyer
Posts: 3822 - Karma: 3,449
just go find some smut and fuck her you dont HAVE to fuck your girlfriend
Apr 13 2010 11:56AM
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bstuck1
Posts: 426 - Karma: 46
Pillowpants, damn underwear trolls.
Apr 13 2010 12:01PM
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Delphi
Posts: 3748 - Karma: 36
one week is nothing. Trying going 4-5 weeks. Then after one weekend, going 4-5 more weeks. plays games with your head and your body. Puts you on a biological 5 week system. If you try to bang at 3 weeks instead of 5, your body knows something is up and fucks you over.
Apr 13 2010 12:50PM
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Moe-Monayyyy
Posts: 107 - Karma: 19

Ok check it, I live with my mom but the other weekend I was staying with my real dad. I am 17 and my real dads girlfriend has a son who's like 18. The kid is the BIGGEST FAG EVER. Not like a douscher fag but like, straight up homo. He literally is that ideal stereotypical kid who gets bullied in school. Hes like 5'8 - 5-'9 110lb. ANd hes really into wierd music like eric clapton and shit and he is super retarded, the kid got a 900 on the SAT but to make it worse when they sent his scores he was too stupid to understand how the scoring worked so he thought he did really good!?

Wow ok enough about him... So anyways, Im at my dads, the wierdo kid is their, and I've got my standard booty call girl over. Me and said girl are in the living / rec room and wierdo kid decides he's tryna kick it with us out there. WTF. Cockblock for fucking sho. Im tryna get my freak on so I text this kid like "wtf dude go away for a little while" and all the sudden he gets it and just immediatley gives me this insane shocked surprised look and goes "why would you want me to leave the room" ....... omfg. I almost DROPPED this kid ON the SPOT. Super awkward. I wish I had video of this kid so you guys could understand how wierd he is and shit. Luckily the girl didnt really care and I kicked the fruitcake out and things got poppin.

The next day me and the fruitcake went to my grandpas house to help him do some work and were all riding in the car together and I tell my grandpa the story and before I even say anything my grandpa goes "WHATTT!? Your new nickname is COCKBLOCKER! Some step brother you are!"

hahah classic.

Sparknotes: Fag-hole almost stepbrother attempts to cockblock me, but is unsucessful!

Apr 13 2010 1:28PM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
whats wrong with clapton?
Apr 13 2010 1:46PM
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*TURBONERD*
Posts: 15081 - Karma: 9,158
.
Apr 13 2010 1:50PM
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bootleg_BEN
Posts: 2499 - Karma: 44
???
Apr 13 2010 1:50PM
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PhaedeD
Posts: 11498 - Karma: 327
everything.
Apr 13 2010 1:51PM
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GANDALF
Posts: 6303 - Karma: 6,578
YOU'RE WRONG
Apr 13 2010 5:18PM
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