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My Roomate Has a Fleshlight

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Dustin.
Posts: 13839 - Karma: 7,704
So I'm sitting in my room right now in severe need of a highlighter, so naturally I head over to my roomies quarters to borrow one.  In the top drawer is his apparent pride and joy, a new Fleshlight (at least I assume it's new because the box is in there too).  I'm overwhelmed right now, the possibilities are endless.  I need prime ideas for how to maximize embarrassment without doing something ridiculous like mailing this to his mom as a birthday gift.
Apr 12 2010 12:18AM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
what is "bedroom" ??
Apr 15 2010 9:50AM
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MattWeiss
Posts: 1005 - Karma: 377
Click for larger image
Apr 15 2010 9:55AM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
ohhhhh! i'm not allowed to go in there...
Apr 15 2010 9:57AM
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MattWeiss
Posts: 1005 - Karma: 377
you can get granted axcess to this room, but only to make sexytime...
Apr 15 2010 9:58AM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
oh wow, okay thank you much, i finish laundry first.
Apr 15 2010 10:00AM
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MattWeiss
Posts: 1005 - Karma: 377

hahahahaha

don't forget to bring sandwiches for afterward too

Apr 15 2010 10:02AM
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SkiingNinja
Posts: 1966 - Karma: 902
^I think we are seeing love in the making on newschoolers.
Apr 15 2010 10:04AM
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MattWeiss
Posts: 1005 - Karma: 377

its love making the newschoolers way lol that should be a book

Apr 15 2010 10:05AM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
yes master, what kind sandwich you like?
Apr 15 2010 10:09AM
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SkiingNinja
Posts: 1966 - Karma: 902
"Getting Tired of [after[banging?  Find True Love on Newschoolers"
Apr 15 2010 10:09AM
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MattWeiss
Posts: 1005 - Karma: 377
BLT with an egg on it
Apr 15 2010 10:11AM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
im on it
Apr 15 2010 10:12AM
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andersteeze
Posts: 1047 - Karma: 30

well played

Apr 15 2010 10:15AM
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baethoven
Posts: 4953 - Karma: 332
really?

wow you're a huge fucking pussy.
Apr 15 2010 10:32AM
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ryano
Posts: 4465 - Karma: 1,535
put conditioner in it or something white that looks like jizz. so he thinks its used.

Apr 15 2010 10:38AM
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WakaShocka
Posts: 640 - Karma: 111
put i spider or some bugs or somthing in it hahahahaha
Apr 15 2010 10:59AM
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Abc567def
Posts: 8756 - Karma: 801
put a post-it note on it saying "been there tapped that, enjoy the sloppy seconds"
Apr 15 2010 11:04AM
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doritos
Posts: 7368 - Karma: 53
Dude, it would be pretty fucking uncool. You shouldn't go out of your way to damage another man's genitalia to that extreme. Fake blood, henna dye, and the mom picture are all golden. But seriously, the guy's just trying to get a nut out, imagine you're all blocked up and you go to squeeze off a round when all of a sudden your ENTIRE CROTCH IS A BURNING INFERNO OF MISERY for NO FUCKING REASON WHATSOEVER...

I'd be pretty pissed. My response would totally depend on how much I liked my roommate, but really the only thing that would prevent me from charging him or going to a higher authority would be the fact that I'd have to admit to using a Fleshlight... which may FEEL as good, but really, anyone saying that the experience is anywhere near the same as the real thing has done some shitty fucking fucking.
Apr 15 2010 12:18PM
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doritos
Posts: 7368 - Karma: 53
Also brilliant.
Apr 15 2010 12:18PM
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SmokeyTheBear
Posts: 492 - Karma: 24
wow
Apr 15 2010 12:56PM
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ECfreeski3
Posts: 12019 - Karma: 126
haha this is good too.

i agree with everyone saying icy hot etc is fucking too much. fuck with him if you want but icy hot and shit? thats malicious
Apr 15 2010 4:30PM
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TheStudioCC
Posts: 2092 - Karma: 366
shit inside it
Apr 15 2010 4:46PM
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toominator
Posts: 4792 - Karma: 120
disgusting as that is, it would be kinda funny if it had the butt attachment
Apr 15 2010 5:25PM
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baethoven
Posts: 4953 - Karma: 332
i shouldn't have quoted as much as i did. i really meant he's a pussy if he pressed charges.  yea i know it would be fucking miserable for the poor bastard, but instead of getting sense about it, and getting the police involved, i'd be out to beat some ass.
Apr 15 2010 10:38PM
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Backyard.Skier
Posts: 5397 - Karma: 1,497
hahaha i just almost choked to death laughing at the icy hot idea.
Apr 15 2010 11:40PM
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Where-am-I
Posts: 1635 - Karma: 281
win
Apr 16 2010 12:35AM
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Malcolm
Posts: 15951 - Karma: 9,451
paint it black
Apr 16 2010 12:42AM
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Dustin.
Posts: 13839 - Karma: 7,704
I wish I could find one that has a much bigger diameter (so big it wouldn't do much for anyone smaller than a horse), and then replace his with it.




Stop with the Icy Hot arguments, it's not even sort of funny....it's a stupid idea and I like my roommate anyway.  Simple prank, not a torturous experience that would put him in tears.
Apr 16 2010 2:53AM
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hoodratz47
Posts: 12020 - Karma: 9,475
vist  your local stud ranch... they will be able to help you out.
Apr 16 2010 3:40AM
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fourtwozero
Posts: 184 - Karma: 9
put pubic crabs in and rape his sister
Apr 16 2010 4:20AM
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omIV
Posts: 1950 - Karma: 306
dude. really?


i vote for the pudding.
Apr 16 2010 8:56AM
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Pklink04
Posts: 5608 - Karma: 392
why dont you tell him on a night he was gone that the power went out, and that flashlight he keeps in the drawer is out of batteries

or use it as a vase a put flowers in it
Apr 16 2010 8:58AM
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Benson23
Posts: 1713 - Karma: 15
line the wall of it with tacks, and then put food/ants in it. TIght! that and maggots>
Apr 16 2010 9:25AM
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AdolfShitler
Posts: 1618 - Karma: 32
I have. Haha. Not fun. My balls were.. on ice and then on fire?
Apr 16 2010 9:51AM
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Lemuel
Posts: 14486 - Karma: 10,635
The thing I would like to know is, why all these guys have experienced icy hot on their crotch.  Why would you even think about putting it on your balls in the first place? 
Apr 16 2010 10:56AM
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mmallender.
Posts: 5805 - Karma: 936
curiosity is what got me
Apr 16 2010 2:47PM
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the_moderaper
Posts: 2465 - Karma: 218
use it. then tell him you used it.
Apr 16 2010 2:58PM
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Heart
Posts: 6156 - Karma: 3,462
i laughed sooo hard
Apr 16 2010 3:48PM
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jimmer
Posts: 3586 - Karma: 80
i think my friend gave me a taco bell burrito or something
worth it

Apr 16 2010 7:29PM
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Sammich
Posts: 112 - Karma: 11
hahahahahahahha do this
Apr 16 2010 8:22PM
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Static
Posts: 8553 - Karma: 4,089
damn OP shit or get off the pot
Apr 16 2010 11:57PM
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SteezyOhio
Posts: 6044 - Karma: 60
RESULTS?

proposal, take the flesh light and find some sort of modeling clay, model the flesh light to look just like a giant penis, i mean go legit have some art student scult a penis, with nut sack hanging out of it, so that when he's busting his nut it just looks like he's wanking a 15" oversized penis...
Apr 17 2010 12:43AM
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icon1234
Posts: 3081 - Karma: 1,475
So much over kill in this thread. Just do something simple and funny that would just be between you two, public humiliation is pretty bad.

One night when he is sleeping just put it right by his pillow, or if he uses an alarm clock put it on top of it.
Apr 17 2010 12:50AM
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the_moderaper
Posts: 2465 - Karma: 218
/thread. super win
Apr 17 2010 1:16AM
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5teve.
Posts: 610 - Karma: 12
did u do anything to it yet?? Don't feel like looking through 4 pages to see if u posted what u did.
Apr 17 2010 1:41AM
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blatt
Posts: 5584 - Karma: 3,097
Perhaps bean dip? I like the chocolate pudding one tho.
Apr 17 2010 2:15AM
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Davy.Crockett
Posts: 5373 - Karma: 324
so many good ideas, but i think chocolate pudding or fake blood is pretty good.
Apr 17 2010 2:44AM
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Dan.P
Posts: 1351 - Karma: 12
make it some pubes,
Apr 17 2010 5:32AM
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Click_Here
Posts: 1728 - Karma: 14

old ns coming back? in for the epicness

Apr 17 2010 6:56AM
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Gooseling
Posts: 1028 - Karma: 10
you are a freak
Apr 17 2010 8:52AM
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