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My Roomate Has a Fleshlight

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Dustin.
Posts: 13839 - Karma: 7,704
So I'm sitting in my room right now in severe need of a highlighter, so naturally I head over to my roomies quarters to borrow one.  In the top drawer is his apparent pride and joy, a new Fleshlight (at least I assume it's new because the box is in there too).  I'm overwhelmed right now, the possibilities are endless.  I need prime ideas for how to maximize embarrassment without doing something ridiculous like mailing this to his mom as a birthday gift.
Apr 12 2010 12:18AM
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eastside
Posts: 1744 - Karma: 167
put a dildo in it.
Apr 13 2010 1:10PM
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Casey
Posts: 7847 - Karma: 24,308
do not handle your roommates fleshlight. That is really gay.
Apr 13 2010 1:12PM
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jibgasm
Posts: 32 - Karma: 10
this shit's fantastic
Apr 13 2010 1:12PM
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Chokolite
Posts: 1050 - Karma: 23
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Apr 14 2010 4:30PM
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Kevski
Posts: 7056 - Karma: 2,785
Fuck. You beat me to it. This was the first thing that I thought of when reading the thread. He'd probably scream and freak out thinking that his dick is bleeding and I'm sure you'd know about it.

The mom thing is pure genius too. He'd be so pissed, because I'm sure every time he went to use it after he'd be reminded of the scarring image of his mother.
Apr 14 2010 4:50PM
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yuck
Posts: 8384 - Karma: 2,090
someone loves their fleshlight...
Apr 14 2010 4:55PM
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*steeze_is_good
Posts: 2886 - Karma: 721
I like rowens idea
Apr 14 2010 4:57PM
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Dustin.
Posts: 13839 - Karma: 7,704
Please, just go away.
Apr 14 2010 5:17PM
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Dustin.
Posts: 13839 - Karma: 7,704
You can't be serious, are you a virgin?
Apr 14 2010 5:18PM
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geteducated
Posts: 6410 - Karma: 86
so gooooood.

this is a troll right?  please say yes.
Apr 14 2010 5:19PM
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snowking249
Posts: 1452 - Karma: 34
/threads for when im not busy
Apr 14 2010 5:27PM
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.Asain-Skiier
Posts: 3708 - Karma: 977
put saran rap on it so when he cums it bounces back. If thats possible.
Apr 14 2010 5:47PM
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Holte
Posts: 10740 - Karma: 7,814
It'd be pretty embarrassing if he knew that you discovered his fleshlight, but it would be way more horrifying if a super attractive female discovered it. Fake a note from his favorite super hot female friend saying she borrowed a book of his. Leave the note next to the open drawer in a place that she couldn't have possibly have missed the fleshlight.
Apr 14 2010 5:58PM
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MAPLE_SYRUP
Posts: 1910 - Karma: 68
put a picture of his mom on the cover, that will embarrass him a lil (hopefully)
Apr 14 2010 6:06PM
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Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,014
well this guy's a bigger buzz kill than buzz killington

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Apr 14 2010 6:13PM
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sarahskis
Posts: 1587 - Karma: 41
good idea
Apr 14 2010 6:55PM
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I.Love.Beezy
Posts: 2117 - Karma: 784
maybe biofreeze
Apr 14 2010 7:01PM
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jeremy.g
Posts: 4931 - Karma: 459
haha this for sure.
Apr 14 2010 7:03PM
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MADDECENT
Posts: 5579 - Karma: 951
best one yet
Apr 14 2010 7:04PM
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TheButterHashira
Posts: 9691 - Karma: 1,702
A centipede.
Apr 14 2010 7:14PM
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ReetsAdeets
Posts: 1531 - Karma: 611
Hide his keys or something with the fleshlight in the microwave or something, and then when he asks where his keys are tell him. Then go somewhere else, and yell out if he found them like 30 seconds later. No harm to him, no money from you. But you can give him shit for a long time.
Apr 14 2010 7:19PM
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Guavajelly
Posts: 197 - Karma: 34
Put some rotten cheese or something smelly in it and when he freaks out tell him it must have been unfaithful and picked up a std.
Apr 14 2010 7:20PM
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ButteredToast.
Posts: 6459 - Karma: 2,570
Tell him you felt like your guy's room was insanely cluttered so you took it upon yourself to go ahead and organize the damn thing.

Tell him you found a sweet pencil holder in his drawer that you have no idea why he never uses it, and put a TON of pencils and stuff in there. He will never use those again.

OR you can say you organized and found a cool toothbrush holder. Toothbrush=ruined.
Apr 14 2010 7:44PM
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the-big-lepowski
Posts: 1212 - Karma: 541
^ this.  and please record the reaction and buzzing/screaming sounds, so hathbanger can mash it up into another dank shredit
Apr 14 2010 7:49PM
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T-Holt
Posts: 5020 - Karma: 639
That is a brilliant idea!!!
Apr 14 2010 7:53PM
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0123456789
Posts: 9226 - Karma: 148
write MOM MOM MOM allllll over it!
Apr 14 2010 9:49PM
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Hansel.
Posts: 4583 - Karma: 112
like i said put chocolate pudding in it
Apr 14 2010 9:53PM
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Nathn
Posts: 2408 - Karma: 63
Put herpes in it
Apr 14 2010 9:55PM
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EthanJPAskier
Posts: 1668 - Karma: 248
where would he get said herpes?
Apr 14 2010 10:02PM
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toominator
Posts: 4792 - Karma: 120
get some fake warts and glue a couple on
Apr 14 2010 10:13PM
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bryanw
Posts: 533 - Karma: 284
haha woman in the kitchen, classic
Apr 14 2010 10:25PM
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yourthemannowdog
Posts: 4541 - Karma: 313
put a used condom inside it, then when he is in the room with you get up and say i gotta meet someone i'll be back in an hour or two. The chances are the kid will jerk it, so walk down the hall so he thinks your gone and then sneak back, open the door when you know it is time and ask him why he has a used condom and a fleshlight. It will work a lot better if you have multiple friends and a camera
Apr 14 2010 10:25PM
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Parrish
Posts: 8695 - Karma: 1,008
Some Sort of Dye or Insta-Tan.
Apr 14 2010 10:33PM
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Broseph_Stalin
Posts: 3745 - Karma: 178
put his phone into it then call it when hes in the room
Apr 14 2010 10:35PM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,272
oh that's good
Apr 14 2010 10:40PM
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deleted5
Posts: 14507 - Karma: 13,507
i'd move
Apr 14 2010 10:45PM
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.Natty.
Posts: 1030 - Karma: 84
have you tried any of these ideas yet?
cause some of these are pretty damn epic
Apr 14 2010 10:46PM
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dbchili
Posts: 2555 - Karma: 1,657
Click for larger image

Anyways, please use:

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Apr 14 2010 10:51PM
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andersteeze
Posts: 1047 - Karma: 30

So you got 4 pages of respones. Action time, what are you going to do?

and needless to say pictures or vid pleaze

Apr 14 2010 11:16PM
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garrets
Posts: 1447 - Karma: 60
oh god...
Apr 14 2010 11:49PM
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SmokeyTheBear
Posts: 492 - Karma: 24
Dear god yes
Apr 14 2010 11:50PM
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PeeDuBzz
Posts: 1010 - Karma: 134
definitely anything involving you catching him, like phone on the box and calling it or hiding it where you find it asking what it is.... idk the options are endless but the reaction will be priceless you cant just let this opportunity go its to funny hahah
Apr 14 2010 11:53PM
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ButteredToast.
Posts: 6459 - Karma: 2,570
Baahahah muscle relaxant. YES.
Apr 14 2010 11:53PM
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Dustin.
Posts: 13839 - Karma: 7,704
I like this too :)

For now, he is now an esteemed member of FleshlightForums.com

It exist, and I can't wait until they start sending him welcome emails.
Apr 15 2010 12:04AM
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the_moderaper
Posts: 2465 - Karma: 218
this
Apr 15 2010 12:19AM
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toominator
Posts: 4792 - Karma: 120
hahahaha oh boy,

"Cleaning is no big deal. You need to use plenty of running water, and work your fingers through every contour of the sleeve to get the spunk out. While real girls use vinegar and water once in a while, Fleshlights benefit from an isopropyl alcohol solution once a week or so"
Apr 15 2010 12:37AM
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Craigskis
Posts: 6650 - Karma: 1,645

I think signing him up for the forums was actually pretty funny along with some of the other responses.

I was half serious and half trolling with what I said.. Obviously I knew I was going to take some flack from it and the best you could tell me was to leave and call me a virgin?

Yeah it's a pretty bold statement saying you'd rather make sweet love to a fleshlight than rail your Ex Gf again. Relationship fail yeah I'd agree

Fleshlights are the leading male sextoy in America. And as far as your dicks concerned it's just as good as the real thing. Don't get me wrong I love the real thing and you don't have to worry about my sex life.

Personally I'd just leave it at that and not punk your roomate. If has any balls about him he's liable to punch you in the nose if you push him to far. That or just hide or moving it on him will be enough to freak him out.

Regards
Apr 15 2010 12:38AM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
where else would i be?
Apr 15 2010 9:47AM
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MattWeiss
Posts: 1005 - Karma: 377

laundry room?  bedroom?

lawlz

Apr 15 2010 9:49AM
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