Member of the Month

KilaTsunami
October, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

My Roomate Has a Fleshlight

profile picture
Dustin.
Posts: 13839 - Karma: 7,704
So I'm sitting in my room right now in severe need of a highlighter, so naturally I head over to my roomies quarters to borrow one.  In the top drawer is his apparent pride and joy, a new Fleshlight (at least I assume it's new because the box is in there too).  I'm overwhelmed right now, the possibilities are endless.  I need prime ideas for how to maximize embarrassment without doing something ridiculous like mailing this to his mom as a birthday gift.
Apr 12 2010 12:18AM
1 0
profile picture
hey-dude-its-me
Posts: 4238 - Karma: 412
hahah I feel the exact opposite, you should embarrass him without hurting him bc I know if someone did the icy hot to me there would be an end of the friendship type fist fight
Apr 12 2010 2:00PM
0 0
profile picture
P_Steezy
Posts: 323 - Karma: 11
you could always take a picture of it somewhere that would indicate that it is his, then post it on facebook and tag him in the pic. If he removes the tag, post all of your mutual friends in it so everyone knows about it!
Apr 12 2010 2:10PM
0 0
profile picture
IanAvery-Leaf
Posts: 9931 - Karma: 9,399
winner winner chicken dinner
Apr 12 2010 7:12PM
0 0
profile picture
FerrisBueller
Posts: 8280 - Karma: 5,173
use it/ steal it. :)
Apr 12 2010 7:15PM
0 0
profile picture
EthanJPAskier
Posts: 1668 - Karma: 248
nope!
Apr 12 2010 7:20PM
0 0
profile picture
.Roockley.
Posts: 3864 - Karma: 4,078
leave it on another room mates bed covered with lemon sorbet juice or something
Apr 12 2010 7:23PM
0 0
profile picture
phila
Posts: 285 - Karma: 10
im a fan of the chocolate pudding, the mess that would cause would be perfect, there would no physical pain, but only a sloppy mess and a story to tell for years.
Apr 12 2010 7:37PM
0 0
profile picture
SteezyOhio
Posts: 6044 - Karma: 60
Tiger Balm! way more intense in my opinion, or put fire ants in it.
Apr 12 2010 7:43PM
0 0
profile picture
Negro_Jesus
Posts: 1789 - Karma: 91
put something in it that will cause it to light on fire as soon as he starts fucking it.
Apr 12 2010 7:50PM
0 0
profile picture
woollygangster
Posts: 235 - Karma: 18
yeah that thing. like unicorns and leprechauns...
Apr 12 2010 8:03PM
0 0
profile picture
PaleCelery
Posts: 7228 - Karma: 609
yea that, fill it with nitroglycerin
Apr 12 2010 8:05PM
0 0
profile picture
CKpolicy
Posts: 2587 - Karma: 2,463
best idea. dont hurt the kid, icy hot is fucked up.
Apr 12 2010 9:01PM
0 0
profile picture
SteezyasPie
Posts: 1160 - Karma: 15
Remember that itching powder you could buy for pranks as a kid? Stuff it full, he'll scratch for days.

Or icyhot
Apr 12 2010 9:19PM
0 0
profile picture
Squid.
Posts: 1904 - Karma: 23
this would be so funny if it was the ass fleshlight
Apr 12 2010 9:20PM
0 0
profile picture
RockyMountnHigh
Posts: 990 - Karma: 14
agreed...that's just epic
Apr 12 2010 9:39PM
0 0
profile picture
cool.
Posts: 3457 - Karma: 1,724
haha that is definitely the best idea yet.

Rowen's idea would also be pretty funny.
Apr 12 2010 9:41PM
0 0
profile picture
apcaipse
Posts: 2168 - Karma: 25
Ever watch the office?
Put it in jello. Fill it with jello. Then put it on a plate on his desk with a note and pictures. Post pictures to NS and facebook and tag him and all your friends in it.

Apr 12 2010 9:41PM
0 0
profile picture
FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
ahhh i have that stuff in my kitchen, i thought it was chapstick and i ALMOST put it on once! but then i was like wait a minute....somethings fishy
Apr 12 2010 9:43PM
0 0
profile picture
twin-tip-hero
Posts: 2896 - Karma: 277
well if you time it right, you could put cement in there so that its stuck there. 
Apr 12 2010 9:46PM
0 0
profile picture
UNREAL
Posts: 3989 - Karma: 23
best idea so far
Apr 12 2010 9:47PM
0 0
profile picture
OscarTheGrouch
Posts: 839 - Karma: 17
i say this because Icy Hot on your balls hurts....a lot, i don't want to even think about how it will feel on my dick.
Apr 12 2010 9:47PM
0 0
profile picture
Pahina22
Posts: 151 - Karma: 13
yes
Apr 12 2010 9:48PM
0 0
profile picture
p.jones
Posts: 614 - Karma: 16
no.
that would be just fucked up. i mean yeah its funny as hell that he bought the thing, but don't hurt him unless he's really a piece of shit.
IMO india ink is the best idea. the picture of his mom would get some good lulz though
Apr 12 2010 10:02PM
0 0
profile picture
camski26
Posts: 679 - Karma: 16
Icy would be mad funny but I think it's too much. How would you like it if it happened to you? Do something like previously said. Such as putting a zucchini in it, or put some water in it to make it look like you used it but then cleaned it, you can expand from there.
Apr 12 2010 10:09PM
0 0
profile picture
Che~
Posts: 2108 - Karma: 296
fake blood
Apr 12 2010 10:09PM
0 0
profile picture
SteezyOhio
Posts: 6044 - Karma: 60
dont be a pussy, your suppose to enjoy the pain and refreshing feeling, not cry and bitch about it.
Gold bond your nuts later tonight, tell me how ya feel then.
Apr 12 2010 10:27PM
0 0
profile picture
Che~
Posts: 2108 - Karma: 296
gold bond on the nuts is amazing, its like teabagging a snowman
so refreshing
Apr 12 2010 10:34PM
0 0
profile picture
Squid.
Posts: 1904 - Karma: 23
hhahahahah yes
Apr 12 2010 10:38PM
0 0
profile picture
fillup
Posts: 4904 - Karma: 568
Some of these ideas a pure genius, some a just fucking mean.
Apr 12 2010 10:47PM
0 0
profile picture
MCIRONCOCK
Posts: 3094 - Karma: 30
I thoroughly support the fleshlight vase idea.
Apr 12 2010 10:51PM
0 0
profile picture
hurrisun
Posts: 6284 - Karma: 49
hahaha bust a nit in it


and pics u faggit
Apr 12 2010 11:57PM
0 0
profile picture
highindasky55
Posts: 624 - Karma: 32
Thats what i was thinking. I would go with just the picture of his mom rolled up in there

this is going to be a great thread
Apr 13 2010 12:14AM
0 0
profile picture
appa
Posts: 2249 - Karma: 1,739
I fully support the jello idea
Apr 13 2010 12:34AM
0 0
profile picture
CypressGrove
Posts: 1116 - Karma: 12
buy two part epoxy, put one part in fleshlight, second part in his lube.
Apr 13 2010 12:36AM
0 0
profile picture
andersteeze
Posts: 1047 - Karma: 30
this thread is full of win +K to all
Apr 13 2010 12:39AM
0 0
profile picture
0123456789
Posts: 9226 - Karma: 148
tell him you needed to borrow a flashlight for a camping trip adn grabbed the one in his drawer, as he walks in, but you need to be hurrying out so he cant stop you or dosent realize it for a minute, but then youre gone.
Apr 13 2010 12:49AM
0 0
profile picture
pianoman
Posts: 2503 - Karma: 779
LOL
Apr 13 2010 12:59AM
0 0
profile picture
ALaw
Posts: 2616 - Karma: 1,552
yess!!!!! do this one!
Apr 13 2010 1:01AM
0 0
profile picture
BravoWhiskey5280
Posts: 4020 - Karma: 520
FIll it up with mayo or something that is similar to baby making lotion and then once he gets it he'll be like wtf???
Apr 13 2010 1:02AM
0 0
profile picture
thisandthatfilms
Posts: 7714 - Karma: 526
one of the best episodes


and also a very good idea



but it in the fridge with tinfoil over it labeled, leftovers



Apr 13 2010 1:02AM
0 0
profile picture
Testicles
Posts: 1432 - Karma: 13

hahahha

So many great options

The gnome with the blowtorch quote was fucking hilarious too, so true

Apr 13 2010 1:16AM
0 0
profile picture
BMskier
Posts: 3363 - Karma: 365
whoever thinks the gopro idea is good needs a good ol slap in the face.
Apr 13 2010 1:27AM
0 0
profile picture
jasontheredhead
Posts: 955 - Karma: 243

depending on the dorm, but put a sign under his window that says, I use a fleshlight, and put a picture of his face on it, if its under his window he might not find it for a while

Apr 13 2010 1:29AM
0 0
profile picture
ShredTheGnarnia
Posts: 2544 - Karma: 79
take him to explore caves
tell him to grab his flashlight, you know, the one you saw in his drawer.
watch as he stammers for an excuse
grab it for him and head out the door
meet up with friends
wait for when everyone is turning on their lights....
Apr 13 2010 2:09AM
0 0
profile picture
mmallender.
Posts: 5805 - Karma: 936
step 1: watch: http://www.ninjavideo.net/video/55598

step 2: find a football team

step 3: share your roomates new toy


Apr 13 2010 5:24AM
0 0
profile picture
Dan.P
Posts: 1351 - Karma: 12
Glue/place heaps of pubes all over it
Apr 13 2010 6:24AM
0 0
profile picture
MattWeiss
Posts: 1005 - Karma: 377

this plus a tampon, make it this plastic vag's first period

Apr 13 2010 7:53AM
0 0
profile picture
FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
but if there's no tampon, he'll think something happened to his dick and freak out

but thats funny haha
Apr 13 2010 12:12PM
0 0
profile picture
Craigskis
Posts: 6650 - Karma: 1,645

Seriously at least you got the right idea on not wanting to hurt the guy. Loading it up with icy hot or A-rub 35 would be excruciating pain full. If that were to happen to me I'd have you charged.

You raised a good point about it costing $70, you break it you bought it sort of thing...

There isn't a single guy on NS who doesn't masturbate. So the dude has a fleshlight BIG DEAL. Let the bro jerk it in peace. Who the fuck are you to go and humiliate him.

And your comment about using your hand. That's fucking oldschool bro, You've obviously never used a masturbator and I'll say plainly and flat out sometimes it's better than the real thing. It can be wetter, tighter, cheaper, and all without the nagging mouth piece of a bitchy GF.

Grow up
Apr 13 2010 12:30PM
0 0
profile picture
washbaugh
Posts: 307 - Karma: 26
I'm sorry, but thats fucked up. Sounds like you've never experienced "the real thing"
Apr 13 2010 12:56PM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-5)