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My Roomate Has a Fleshlight

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Dustin.
Posts: 13839 - Karma: 7,704
So I'm sitting in my room right now in severe need of a highlighter, so naturally I head over to my roomies quarters to borrow one.  In the top drawer is his apparent pride and joy, a new Fleshlight (at least I assume it's new because the box is in there too).  I'm overwhelmed right now, the possibilities are endless.  I need prime ideas for how to maximize embarrassment without doing something ridiculous like mailing this to his mom as a birthday gift.
Apr 12 2010 12:18AM
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BC.
Posts: 1551 - Karma: 86
da fuck?

icy hot can actually fuck him up i think i would be careful.


Apr 12 2010 3:32AM
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hoodratz47
Posts: 12020 - Karma: 9,475
yeah... or maybe a sex fist.... like the whole icy hot thing is funny but pain full ... like im more down for the mindfuck of being like "hey im gonna go fuck a fake vag and whats this  a black dildo." cause its remindng him that the fleshlight is just a male equivlent of a dildo!
Apr 12 2010 3:35AM
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Dustin.
Posts: 13839 - Karma: 7,704
Placing things on another guy's dick to cause incredible pain isn't really what I'm going for....more like comedic embarrassment that I can remind him of 10 years down the road. 

I'm a big fan of the ink idea Rowen :)  Or I could fill it with sunscreen or something like that.

By the way, I just looked it up and these things cost $70 shipped.  Hooooooly crap, I'll use my hand thank you.
Apr 12 2010 3:51AM
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aandbackflip
Posts: 111 - Karma: 11
Tango coloured fake tan, or wait till his birthday/christmas, wrap it up, and give it to him in front of everyone else.
Apr 12 2010 5:30AM
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BrewskiJr
Posts: 5738 - Karma: 1,478
I say icy hot but if you don't wanna put him through all that pain just take it away and hide it somewhere. He'll be running around freaking out that he misplaced it and hoping someone might find it.

But then again he is keeping it in his desk drawer..not very hidden...hm.





icy hot
Apr 12 2010 9:15AM
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Pmoore
Posts: 1802 - Karma: 1,246
Dildo idea for sure. The look on his face would be epic.
Apr 12 2010 9:22AM
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Lemuel
Posts: 14489 - Karma: 10,640
Hahaha who ever said a nail, god dam that would be bad haha.  And thumb tacks?  I think you should just go for all the above haha.  Put razor blades in it and put it back in the box, then write "New Vietnam Version" on the box haha.

Just fill it with something nasty so he thinks someone used it.
Apr 12 2010 9:34AM
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bubonj
Posts: 38 - Karma: 10
bust a nut in it..
Apr 12 2010 9:35AM
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WikiWiki
Posts: 5584 - Karma: 426
id take it and hide it- then when you see him looking all around the house you can lol- and be like whats up dude- he will be like oh nothing- you can badger the shit out of him till he finds it-
Apr 12 2010 9:44AM
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VT_FLO
Posts: 3806 - Karma: 147
put it over the shower faucet so it's a plastic vagina spraying him next time he tries to shower
Apr 12 2010 9:48AM
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tom.ch
Posts: 102 - Karma: -15
the idea of thumbtacks up in there made me feel a little bit sick
Apr 12 2010 9:56AM
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hartig
Posts: 8192 - Karma: 10
what the fuck
Apr 12 2010 10:06AM
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T-Holt
Posts: 5020 - Karma: 639
Hahahaha, this is great.
Apr 12 2010 10:15AM
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rhcp
Posts: 2598 - Karma: 18
Right before you know he will come back take it out, put some kind of semen-y looking fluid dripping out of it, and leave it next to your computer with a porn window open.  Try walking in the room right after him and be like "oh fuck dude, sorry"
Apr 12 2010 10:36AM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
.....hahaha nice first post.
Apr 12 2010 10:42AM
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brockerton-
Posts: 151 - Karma: 16

fill it with black perminent ink

Apr 12 2010 10:51AM
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timmi
Posts: 12874 - Karma: 3,460
tie some fishing line to it, and when he goes to pick it up, pull the fishing line and then laugh at him for not even being able to get fake pussy.
Apr 12 2010 10:53AM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
a paste of fine chopped habanero/scotch bonnet mixed in water and left to soak for a week or two.
Apr 12 2010 10:56AM
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prontocuts.com
Posts: 5244 - Karma: 42
fill it with aids imo
Apr 12 2010 10:59AM
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fragglemuffin
Posts: 3312 - Karma: 444
i vote this.
Apr 12 2010 11:01AM
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leahey
Posts: 2548 - Karma: 32
Haha that would be funny but no one but him would know, if you used the icy hot or the pudding you would DEFINITELY hear him haha
Apr 12 2010 11:04AM
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MattWeiss
Posts: 1005 - Karma: 377

hahaha thats great

but you should just take a sharpie and draw hair, or just cut some of your hair on and glue it on there to make a huge bush on it for him, just to ruin it for him, so now his fake vag has a bush haha

Apr 12 2010 11:04AM
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wh@t
Posts: 6204 - Karma: 51
its called Henna dye. and its cheap and you should do this. it would like like severely bruised black skin.
Apr 12 2010 11:09AM
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triebby
Posts: 8670 - Karma: 2,190
I just need to post in here because this thread is gonna be legendary. So many epic responses and I know NS is only getting started. Also, make sure you tell us what you decide to do and what happens!
Apr 12 2010 11:16AM
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madcowdiSTEEZE
Posts: 14 - Karma: 10

YES I LOVE THREADS ABOUT ROOMATES <333

Apr 12 2010 11:19AM
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prontocuts.com
Posts: 5244 - Karma: 42
am i the only one who loled at this?
Apr 12 2010 11:21AM
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Squishmitten
Posts: 456 - Karma: 19
i feel as if some fiberglass in there could ruin this kids day..
Apr 12 2010 12:03PM
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Hermondo
Posts: 1244 - Karma: 52
haha no sir. one of the funniest posts imo
Apr 12 2010 12:03PM
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*Get_ill*
Posts: 344 - Karma: 6
/thread
Apr 12 2010 12:14PM
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Luc.
Posts: 7540 - Karma: 59
hahahaha that shit will stain him for a good stretch of time too
Apr 12 2010 12:25PM
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Arabian.
Posts: 9632 - Karma: 55
2-3 weeks at least haha. Bet them ladies'll think he's got an STD. DOUBLE WHAMMEH!!
Apr 12 2010 12:27PM
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Bar_Down
Posts: 5896 - Karma: 395
lol thats fucked up
Apr 12 2010 12:31PM
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SkiingNinja
Posts: 1967 - Karma: 902
take a dump and put the poop in it. that would be hilarious in my opinion. 
Apr 12 2010 12:33PM
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Kcin
Posts: 1845 - Karma: 58
i dont think hes getting many ladies if hes using a fleshlight
Apr 12 2010 12:36PM
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woollygangster
Posts: 235 - Karma: 18
this.

let us know how it goes
Apr 12 2010 12:38PM
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tommycat
Posts: 483 - Karma: 23
why would you want to ruin him for having a fleshlight?

especially cause all these ideas are super heinous.
Apr 12 2010 12:43PM
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soulskier
Posts: 17806 - Karma: 3,841
alright, you're gonna need to find the dirtiest girl on campus, get some disease and spread the wealth via plastic pussy
Apr 12 2010 1:09PM
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killa_cam
Posts: 13143 - Karma: 15
i got one. add HOURS to the bedroom experience.
Apr 12 2010 1:12PM
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Zent33zy
Posts: 1546 - Karma: 389
all of theese ideas are pretty fucked up haha
Apr 12 2010 1:14PM
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Spinoza
Posts: 12763 - Karma: 3,846
i think the icy hot or the ink.   the ink if youre feeling a bit less cruel
Apr 12 2010 1:16PM
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derbski
Posts: 3173 - Karma: 62
You really shouldn't load it up with icy hot, because considering that he is fucking the thing, it won't just go on, but also in if you catch my drift. Also, anything that destroys the fleshlight would be hilarious, but he did spend 70 bucks on it. So, I present 2 harmless yet humiliating ideas.

1.- Buy some flowers and set it up so that it looks like a vase and make sure you get some pics of him with it up on facebook

2.- Stuff a condom really deep in there with a pencil so that he thinks you used it
Apr 12 2010 1:27PM
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JETS
Posts: 331 - Karma: 749
Click for larger image
Apr 12 2010 1:31PM
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derbski
Posts: 3173 - Karma: 62
Please excuse the double post, but I just thought of the winner.

Find a picture of his mom, and write "I would be less ashamed if you had spent that $70 on coke and hookers" on this picture. Fold/ Roll up said picture and put it deep in there with a pencil.

Later on he will be getting all sorts of frisky with his little latex friend, and when he finally puts it in, he will poke his own mother in the eye. If that doesn't kill his boner, I don't know what will.

No physical harm to your room mate's package or his companion, Just good old fashion psychological scarring.
Apr 12 2010 1:34PM
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Aaaron.
Posts: 11817 - Karma: 903
^winnnnner
Apr 12 2010 1:35PM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
 
Apr 12 2010 1:37PM
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samwise
Posts: 2592 - Karma: 36
shove a nasty concoction of some sort of sauce and pubic hair down the tube so that he will feel the sensation of fucking some nasty crackwhore bush rather than his pristine little fleshlight.

Or wrap it up like a gift and leave it on his desk with a fake love letter, and have him open it in front of as many people as possible.
Apr 12 2010 1:46PM
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+[wall.e]+
Posts: 1928 - Karma: 18
Uh......................................................................................................





Fill it with syphilis! But if you can't figure out how, then Icy Hot it is!
Apr 12 2010 1:47PM
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stokedelic
Posts: 1525 - Karma: 3,991
i think..... i love you.
Apr 12 2010 1:50PM
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sdfjklioeur
Posts: 2082 - Karma: 114

well theres a pov id rather not see.

lol

Apr 12 2010 1:56PM
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hoodratz47
Posts: 12020 - Karma: 9,475

haaaaaaaaa amazing....  so good...

or like one night go down stairs and flip of the power and then be like.. yo bro your flash light is broken and just toss it at him....

btw   like if and when you decdie to fuck with said fleshlight.... you might want to wear rubber gloves cause like... man .... that shit is gross..

Apr 12 2010 1:58PM
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