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Fuck Geese

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Ryan*
Posts: 1827 - Karma: 1,195
At my house in Vermont, we have a bit of a goose infestation. It's been going on since we got the house about five years ago. There is a pond out front (not our pond so much as the town's pond, but it is in our front yard) and scores of geese hang out around it; swimming on it, walking around it, shitting on our lawn, squawking, doing goose things. A few years ago, my dad bought a cheap airsoft pistol from Walmart to try and shoo these bastards away. My friend shot one in the neck; it honked, shook its head, and went about its business.

Now, I'm an environmentalist and I'm all about preserving the ecosystem's integrity, but these geese don't feed, mate, or make shelter on our lawn. They just come in the morning, loaf around all day, and leave at night. And shit all over our lawn. Did I mention that? So I say it's time for some semi-harmless retribution.

Say hello to retribution.

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This, like the Walmart gun, is an airsoft gun—but it shoots 0.4g pellets somewhere between 300-400 fps. Oh, and it's equipped with a bipod and 3-9x40 mil-dot red/green illuminated scope. Whoops.

Geese, you can run, you can waddle, you can float, and you can even fly; but god dammit, you cannot hide.
Apr 4 2010 1:25AM
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Shredneck
Posts: 2051 - Karma: -32
You should get a real gun.... pussy
Apr 4 2010 1:32AM
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shr@gler
Posts: 1233 - Karma: 912

They Gonna FUCK YOU UP!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Apr 4 2010 1:37AM
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PaleCelery
Posts: 7228 - Karma: 609
this would be much more effective

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Apr 4 2010 1:39AM
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ElbridgeGerry
Posts: 5902 - Karma: -27
My uncle just got a 50 shot mag for his .308


That'd wreck Geese
Apr 4 2010 1:39AM
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KiDCuDi
Posts: 390 - Karma: 13
doing goose things. haha idk why but i lol'ed.

why dont you just blow them the fuck up.
Apr 4 2010 1:42AM
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Ryan*
Posts: 1827 - Karma: 1,195
Pretty sure that's illegal.
Apr 4 2010 1:42AM
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ElbridgeGerry
Posts: 5902 - Karma: -27
Do you live in Sluburbia?



Or do you live in the woods?
Apr 4 2010 1:44AM
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PaleCelery
Posts: 7228 - Karma: 609
last time I checked owning a gun was not illegal....
Apr 4 2010 1:45AM
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Shredneck
Posts: 2051 - Karma: -32
yea something about the 2nd amendment idk.

Doesnt matter what you shoot these geese with your going to get in trouble. Might as well be the kid that killed 20 geese with a shotgun then the fag that picked one off with his BB gun.


Apr 4 2010 1:51AM
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pomme-de-terre
Posts: 3915 - Karma: 703

^^guys i think he meant the act of shooting and killing geese is illegal, not the act of owning a gun. in many places, this is correct. i live on one of the finger-lakes and these motherfuckers get all up in my shit, on my porch, dock, lawn, whatever, i know the pain this guy is going through, but it is totally illegal to kill those geese.

shooting them with an airsoft gun, while frowned upon by the law, is less illegal than shooting them with whatever gun your daddy/uncle/best friends lesbian mom says they have. because it kills them less. it just kinda hurts them (geese are fucking tough, it probably wont.) and then hopefully they will go to your neighbors yard.


now monkeys on the other hand....



Apr 4 2010 2:31AM
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JayDope
Posts: 6842 - Karma: 408
idk if it works with geese, but i used to get groundhogs and shit all up in my flower patch and it would piss my mo off because it would fuck shit up, and my mom is a hair stylist, so she got a bunch of hair and put it around our yard, and those things never came back, so u should shave ur entire families heads while their sleeping, put it around the perimeter of the house, and lemme know how it works
Apr 4 2010 3:37AM
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Inbred_Redneck
Posts: 2776 - Karma: 28
Geese are dumb birds, and tough as hell too. I hit one in the neck with my slingshot from about 15 yards away and this bird just jumped about 5 feet in the air, shitting itself in the process, landed, and proceeded to go about its business while honking loudly at me.
Apr 4 2010 8:39AM
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Che~
Posts: 2108 - Karma: 296
geese suck
kill those motherfuckers
Apr 4 2010 10:10AM
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_steezefiend8
Posts: 659 - Karma: 271
geese are so damn dirty. its gross.
Apr 4 2010 10:13AM
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Chompo.
Posts: 4952 - Karma: 88
Atomic bomb?
Apr 4 2010 10:18AM
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PaleCelery
Posts: 7228 - Karma: 609
if you get a 22 with subsonic rounds even if you lvie in a residential area you'll be fine. people wont really hear the shots and these mother fuckers should be killed anyway.

Or you could make a dishsoap/water thing in a spray bottle and squirt them, then when the try to swim they sink because their feathers lose their loft.
Apr 4 2010 11:54AM
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hokkanee
Posts: 1800 - Karma: 435
Or just put some sort of poisoned goose food on your lawn. Or just spray them with a hose
Apr 4 2010 12:09PM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
i'm sorry about your situation...geese are nasty i know
but the title of your thread really just makes me wanna say fuck salt.
Apr 4 2010 12:27PM
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hurrisun
Posts: 6284 - Karma: 49
ya geese r bastards they hiss and shit at my golf course therewas on on the green and i smoke it with my golf ball right in the back i herd the thud from 175 yards away it was sick but ya shoot them or put a mall electric charge in the water just fuck with them hard aim for their feet it wont kill them and i feel that birds have sensitive feet
Apr 4 2010 12:32PM
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The_Future
Posts: 1418 - Karma: 607
Yeah fuck those geese up! haha
Apr 4 2010 12:36PM
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NW_Rider
Posts: 2580 - Karma: 314
I lol'd.
Apr 4 2010 1:08PM
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Slinger1x1
Posts: 8853 - Karma: 66

Apr 4 2010 1:21PM
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Click_Here
Posts: 1728 - Karma: 14
you sir, will not kill a goose with a pellet gun.
Apr 4 2010 1:27PM
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ElbridgeGerry
Posts: 5902 - Karma: -27
Canadian Geese are illegal to kill, all others are perfectly legal.
Apr 4 2010 1:42PM
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Inbred_Redneck
Posts: 2776 - Karma: 28
This, and use .22 shorts too. Much shorter range and reduce richochet alot. I use them on the ground squirrels in the yard.

The plus is that you can pick up a decent .22 rifle for less than or the same price as your air rifle.
Apr 4 2010 1:44PM
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Jibbidy
Posts: 787 - Karma: 19
Fuck I love this thread. I used to annihilate squirrels (aka tree rats) and seagulls with a .22 cal pellet rifle with a maaassive scope on it. It is was cheap! And came free with:
Stopping Power Pro
Steady Aim Pro
"but goddamnit, you cannot hide"
Apr 4 2010 1:48PM
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vincentlee223
Posts: 1571 - Karma: 382
I thought the title said Fuck Grease so i was gonna say fuck you but i totally agree with you on the geese thing.
Apr 4 2010 1:53PM
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feihlination
Posts: 8356 - Karma: 1,084
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Apr 4 2010 1:57PM
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NW_Rider
Posts: 2580 - Karma: 314
You're on a roll with the whole adding up pictures thing. I'm diggin it.
Apr 4 2010 3:44PM
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tommycat
Posts: 483 - Karma: 23
you have a flower patch?
Apr 4 2010 4:08PM
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cbalkman
Posts: 274 - Karma: 114
False. I have the same problem as the OP and we've killed a few with pellets and bbs. It just takes a good head or neck shot. One time my grandma chased them off our lawn with a broom and a male charged her. She swung, and snapped it's neck on the broom.

Slingshots are the answer.
Apr 4 2010 4:09PM
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ECfreeski3
Posts: 12019 - Karma: 126
woah your grandmother's gnarly

i saw a pellet gun at cabella's that shot 1600 fps though. thatd be pretty nuts
Apr 4 2010 4:29PM
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feihlination
Posts: 8356 - Karma: 1,084
thx, i do it for the props
Apr 4 2010 5:13PM
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east_toast
Posts: 479 - Karma: 16
I work at a golf course and in the fall these fuckers fly in and wreck shit left and right with their shit. All of us on the grounds staff sit by the garage and drive golf balls into the crowds of them, my boss likes to keep a kill count.
Apr 4 2010 8:25PM
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pigglywiggly
Posts: 4482 - Karma: 305
mother fucker i hate geese. when i fish i bring golf balls with me and whip them at the geese whenever they get in my way. ive killed like 6 this way. you just gotta have some baseball experience and a nice headshot.

...but i hate cats more. i play golf and was fooling around just chipping in my backyard and shanked one behind a tree. when i go behind the tree to get my ball (titlist prov1) a fucking cat is playing with it. of course i get pissed cause a worthless outdoor cat is playing with my $4 ball. so i take a nice swing straight to the chest of the cat. hit the son bitch dead on and it lunched a good 15 feet in the air, landed, then limped away. i was stoked. i fucking hate cats.
Apr 4 2010 8:30PM
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seemeski
Posts: 4210 - Karma: 124
Shoot those fuckers an eat em. Pest like shit huh.
Apr 4 2010 8:34PM
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[tightpants]
Posts: 1529 - Karma: 17
.22 CB's are where its @ (subsonic rounds like someone mentioned above^)

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they shoot at a speed less than the sound barrier so there is no sonic boom when the bullet leaves the barrel aka no "BANG!'.  just a little "pop" that won't bother the neighbors at all.  and they will take down a goose 1000 times better than that airsoft gun (however badass it may be {for an airsoft gun, that is})
Apr 4 2010 8:41PM
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gregorio
Posts: 2372 - Karma: 151
i'm pretty sure fucking geese is looked down upon in many places, don't quote me on that though
Apr 4 2010 8:43PM
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Ryan*
Posts: 1827 - Karma: 1,195
Quoted.
Apr 4 2010 8:44PM
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WikiWiki
Posts: 5584 - Karma: 426
you must really hate fucking cats
Apr 4 2010 8:51PM
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karmagod
Posts: 925 - Karma: 11
Remind me to not be surprised when you get arrested for some sort of violent crime in a couple of years.
Apr 4 2010 9:04PM
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Jamestown
Posts: 4002 - Karma: 51
Just get one of these:
[img]http://www.thinkgeek.com/images/products/zoom/marshmallow_shooter.jpg[img]
Apr 4 2010 9:08PM
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FBGM
Posts: 8184 - Karma: 2,677
seriously. jeez....
Apr 4 2010 9:11PM
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thelittlebiggs
Posts: 173 - Karma: 10

In my town. I feel your pain.

http://www.kboi2.com/news/89856127.html

Apr 4 2010 9:20PM
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pigglywiggly
Posts: 4482 - Karma: 305
dude, i have a "no trespassing" sign on the bottom of the tree just so if i happen to kill one i have the defense of saying i have a "no trespassing" sign. bastard was trespassing Click for larger image
Apr 4 2010 9:28PM
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Thenowhereman42
Posts: 5682 - Karma: 65
Have fun stabbing a bunch of geese to death after those airsoft bb's don't kill them.
Apr 4 2010 9:47PM
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yojimbo
Posts: 3631 - Karma: 27
just get a crossman. mine was 35 dollars, its pump powered. i pump it up about 10 times for non lethal shots with bb's, 20 times for more pain. it also fires a .177 caliber pellet round which is available in hollowpoint or regular pellet shape. these fuckers are deadly. 20 pumps on a pellet and a body shot on a squirrel and that fucker will bleed right the fuck out real quick. get a head shot and he's done. but you could really hurt the shit out of a goose with the bb's and if that doesnt work i'm positive the pellet will really fuck it up nicely, but keep it alive. it won't want to shit on your lawn after getting hit a couple times a day with one of those.
Apr 4 2010 9:55PM
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emopoppins
Posts: 3996 - Karma: 269
this thread is too much for me.
Apr 4 2010 9:55PM
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ElbridgeGerry
Posts: 5902 - Karma: -27
hahaha, what the fuck? hollow point? they don't make hollow point pellets..that was just a massive claimfest about a shitty pellet gun..that can do stuff any other pellet gun can do.
Apr 4 2010 9:57PM
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t3hb055
Posts: 813 - Karma: 15
Where I live, we also have an intense goose infestation. The city has been trying everything to stop it. So far the only thing that has worked is starving them out. But then animal activists get all pissy.
Apr 4 2010 9:59PM
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