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November, 2024

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Finally, park gaper training

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SKIU4EA
Posts: 2387 - Karma: 2,072

Getting tired of snowplowers zig-zagging unpredictably all through the park with their ignorant parents close behind, usually through the in-runs? Or how about the family standing on the landing or knuckle out of sight, usually rocking the 215cm skis? wtf is this? Are you setting up for a family photo?

Don’t feel like reading the park rules? Don’t want to keep your kid in the safe spots? Hey! No worries. I got the answer for ya.



New highly sophisticated bindings with a proximity setting are the answer. They will be mounted on rentals. If the skier ventures closer than say.. 10 feet to any active in-run, unsafe landing, crowded rail/box, or any other place you can think of then the bindings, without warning, double eject the occupant out of their skis sending them flailing helplessly through the air, parents included.

Once they have successfully completed a park lesson/course. their proximity setting will be adjusted accordingly.

Thoughts? Suggestions?
Feb 18 2010 7:12PM
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Testicles
Posts: 1432 - Karma: 13

whats worse, a gaper that can move or a gaper penguin sliding right in front of you as you land?

Feb 18 2010 7:15PM
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ike.
Posts: 2292 - Karma: 93
haha funny thread but it could be easier and nicer to have some bouncers at the park entry who just kick families an gapers out
Feb 18 2010 7:18PM
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.jesus.
Posts: 2288 - Karma: 22
do like
Feb 18 2010 7:20PM
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Pwn.Mode
Posts: 1061 - Karma: 10
or just build big jumps. no one really gets in the way of freeway.
Feb 18 2010 7:22PM
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lanny94
Posts: 1374 - Karma: 165

whats worse, a gaper that can move or a gaper penguin sliding right in front of you as you land?

ya but they would be warned about probably so they would not want to even go into the park anyways

Feb 18 2010 7:22PM
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remove
Posts: 2566 - Karma: 1,026

they do here.....

Bouncer would be a quality idea though.

Feb 18 2010 7:24PM
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BMskier
Posts: 3363 - Karma: 365
obviously every ski area would employ Big Black to stand at the entrance to the park. i would be scared
Feb 18 2010 7:47PM
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SirFaceRager
Posts: 256 - Karma: 30
hmmm how much are these?
Feb 18 2010 7:50PM
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ike.
Posts: 2292 - Karma: 93
ya but he would like you cuz ur good.
Feb 18 2010 7:58PM
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KennyC
Posts: 1922 - Karma: 46
ya gapers are intimidated by big jumps.... the more tecnical the park the less gapers that are inside. the only problem is that the lips onto the rails are wide enough for gapers to jump off of from the side....
Feb 18 2010 8:01PM
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978Ride
Posts: 2 - Karma: 13
sounds like a good idea
Feb 18 2010 8:07PM
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.brian
Posts: 1710 - Karma: 233
They should make parks like quad black diamonds. That would scare al the gapers.
Feb 18 2010 8:10PM
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Ben.
Posts: 21463 - Karma: 683
ive always said like a 5 foot stepup with a channel into the park. small enough people who are learning but not amazing could make it, but just big enough that anyone not good enough would fall into the pit/gap in the middle.
Feb 18 2010 8:14PM
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Peach.
Posts: 3879 - Karma: 933
BAM!
Feb 18 2010 8:18PM
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Wes-Side
Posts: 200 - Karma: 10
Yea and they would just have park crew clean out the pit once a month or so and throw the dead gapers away.
Feb 18 2010 8:22PM
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ChrisSkisChronic
Posts: 1128 - Karma: 230
Park pass = solution to 98% of gapers in the park
Feb 18 2010 8:23PM
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Ben.
Posts: 21463 - Karma: 683
haha no. some sort of slope/slide mechanism that would dump them out beside the park. back on a normal run. ive got nothing against gapers, except when they appear magically below me right after i leave the lip of a jump
Feb 18 2010 8:24PM
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Malcolm
Posts: 15951 - Karma: 9,451
the extra 2% is the ski patrol at my mountain. they can barely ski haha
Feb 18 2010 8:29PM
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ChrisSkisChronic
Posts: 1128 - Karma: 230
Every once in a while I see patrollers carving on the edges of the park because the corduroy doesn't get
"tracked out". Makes me laugh
Feb 18 2010 8:33PM
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matthew.
Posts: 879 - Karma: 12
That'd be sooo tight
Feb 18 2010 8:50PM
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rigzz
Posts: 1768 - Karma: 147
This is how MTB trail work, and that's how park should word, like a test so that, gapers can't go thru. Would be prime.
Feb 18 2010 9:02PM
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Ben.
Posts: 21463 - Karma: 683
exactly. we could even put padding in the bottom. i dont want to hurt them. just keep em out of the park.
Feb 18 2010 9:04PM
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remove
Posts: 2566 - Karma: 1,026

More cayan pepper?

BAM!

Feb 18 2010 9:05PM
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rigzz
Posts: 1768 - Karma: 147
Instead of padding, put a conveyor belt so it would bring them back to the green and blue runs.. hahaha!
Feb 18 2010 9:08PM
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Ben.
Posts: 21463 - Karma: 683
i was thinking slide. then its fun! lol
Feb 18 2010 9:10PM
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Malcolm
Posts: 15951 - Karma: 9,451
or what about a fake park on a trail right before the real park that says "gaper terrain park" and it would be filled with random moguls and shitty bike racks to mimic rails. that way all the gapers would go in there thinking theyre hitting the real park
Feb 18 2010 9:13PM
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Jamestown
Posts: 4002 - Karma: 51
Marking it as a black diamond could do something. It might filter out a few.
Feb 18 2010 9:15PM
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KeitOnMyLevel
Posts: 32 - Karma: 10
This would be an exceptionally great binding if it didn't discriminate against the gapers' poser friends
Feb 18 2010 9:16PM
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rach
Posts: 917 - Karma: 507
true
Feb 18 2010 9:16PM
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PeterWojnar
Posts: 3937 - Karma: 678
There must be a video... Threads for when I'm not on iNS
Feb 18 2010 9:17PM
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IanAvery-Leaf
Posts: 9932 - Karma: 9,411

marking it a triple black diamond would makes gapers go in it and brag later about hitting a trip black, not a good idea, I like the gap idea though
Feb 18 2010 9:20PM
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SKIU4EA
Posts: 2387 - Karma: 2,072
put all these ideas together and we could design a gnarly Mtn. With conveyor belts all over the place, transporting gapers back and forth, kind of like at the airport.
Feb 18 2010 9:29PM
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Jamestown
Posts: 4002 - Karma: 51
Ok, how bout having the Hells Angels work security...Rolling Stones style?
Feb 18 2010 9:45PM
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Ben.
Posts: 21463 - Karma: 683
haha the trail map would look like a game of chutes and ladders
Feb 18 2010 9:47PM
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family_vacation
Posts: 6200 - Karma: 7,840
You must not ski at my mountain.
Feb 18 2010 9:47PM
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the.cheat
Posts: 2859 - Karma: 171
making it a black doesnt help much, here the park is a double black and thered caution tape leading into it it only helps a bit
Feb 18 2010 9:48PM
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skithesprings
Posts: 9086 - Karma: 1,349
same, except here the moguls coaches take groups of 20 kids through the biggest jumpline and make their stupid mogul turns down the perfectly groomed landings then they yell at us "parkrats" for messing up their mogul course if we even come within 20 feet of it. fuck them. they're ignorant bastards who think they're better than everyone else.
Feb 18 2010 9:50PM
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ChrisSkisChronic
Posts: 1128 - Karma: 230
Get one, preferably sick or weak, away from the group. Swarm him. Steal his boots. Defecate in said boots. He will spread the word about what hapened. They'll never fuck with you again, lest they want feces in their boots.
Feb 18 2010 10:17PM
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xxMdahlxx
Posts: 552 - Karma: 15
are you kidding me? I love the unpredictable gaper snowplow routes. You can make a sport out of dodging them on the popular main runs. It should be in the Olympics!
Feb 18 2010 10:19PM
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Sir.Steezealot
Posts: 1156 - Karma: 677

You could possibly train a dragon and whenever a gaper goes off a jump he would just fry them to a crisp I mean its really the only pratical solution

Feb 18 2010 10:38PM
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Malcolm
Posts: 15951 - Karma: 9,451
i agree. especially the ones that insist on carving all the way to the edge of the run. it adds an extra little challenge. the thing thats fustrating is when they cut you off right as youre about to hit a jump.
Feb 18 2010 10:52PM
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ColButch
Posts: 40 - Karma: 10
This sounds like a grand idea. Why just last week we were filming in the park and as i was clearly riding up to a c a woman in a full white suit with straight skis goes right between the box and i, barley avoiding a collision.
Feb 18 2010 11:31PM
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hellomynameisjef
Posts: 5794 - Karma: 167
i just bark at gapers when they come through the park. i know for a fact i have scared a couple families away from ever jumping off lips again
Feb 18 2010 11:42PM
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Parrish
Posts: 8695 - Karma: 1,009
lawl
Feb 18 2010 11:43PM
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Brock.
Posts: 5698 - Karma: 1,332
i think we should be able to double eject gapers on command for entertainment purposes. just sayin...


ALSO, park pass
Feb 18 2010 11:46PM
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ilovegapers
Posts: 49 - Karma: 11
I take ofence to that right thererrer. my herre by grand daughter took one them pictures on them trick bumps.right before one a her youngens got her hed hitted and taken right off by one them missle ridasClick for larger image
Feb 19 2010 2:48AM
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Cheezcake.
Posts: 721 - Karma: 22
Mods, pleaseeeeeee expose this alias.
Feb 19 2010 3:14AM
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brickerenator
Posts: 316 - Karma: 10
Disregard gapers and acquire bails
Feb 19 2010 12:24PM
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Caleb.E
Posts: 3556 - Karma: 1,015
super legit but i think park apsses are more resonable
Feb 19 2010 4:16PM
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Jordan_P
Posts: 621 - Karma: 33
how about at the top of the park there is a 20' rail that has a pit of fire or barracudas below. if you cant make it across the rail then you cannot enter the park
Feb 19 2010 4:54PM
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