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Ninjedi01
Posts: 98 - Karma: -5
After countless hours of conducting research and collecting data, my team and I have concluded that 95% of Americans will die sometime in their lives. The darkness is creeping toward you whether you like it or not, so why not make life last? Try new activities like gang rape or eating grass, or learn new things like how to run an underground meth lab or how to build a house made of oranges and magazine clippings that's glued together with children's tears. All sorts of things can be done to make life worth while, and learning new activities can help stimulate the brain, so why not do it?
Feb 17 2010 9:36PM
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Parrish
Posts: 8695 - Karma: 1,009
Will the other 5% be immortal?
Feb 17 2010 9:38PM
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shr@gler
Posts: 1233 - Karma: 912

you are wiser than most

Feb 17 2010 9:45PM
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hundreds
Posts: 775 - Karma: 341
My thoughts exactly.
Feb 17 2010 9:51PM
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Ninjedi01
Posts: 98 - Karma: -5
No, actually. That's a common misconception. The reality is that only a small fraction of those are immortal, the rest are subject to transforming into farm animals and living the rest of their years drinking out of a trough and eventually being gruesomely slaughtered to feed some little boy at a barbeque. And I know that you're thinking that if they're slaughtered, then they do die, but since they're not people anymore, that doesn't matter, now does it?
Feb 17 2010 10:48PM
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TechnoPotamus
Posts: 11626 - Karma: 3,522
cocaine is one hell of a drug
Feb 17 2010 10:50PM
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Click_Here
Posts: 1728 - Karma: 14
i find your theorys to be interesting and i wish to subscribe to your newsletter
Feb 17 2010 10:50PM
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saucybiscuits
Posts: 2554 - Karma: 173
no, they will move to canada.
Feb 17 2010 10:51PM
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gstaff
Posts: 1017 - Karma: 12
so of the 5% that do not die, and besides the fact that the majority turn into farm animals,  what percentile will in fact, be immortal.
Feb 17 2010 10:52PM
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SteezyOhio
Posts: 6044 - Karma: 60
100% of death row immates eat bread. you should stop eating bread unless you want to become a death row immate.
Feb 17 2010 10:54PM
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TechnoPotamus
Posts: 11626 - Karma: 3,522
we are now going to be NS friends
Feb 17 2010 10:55PM
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Mr.Feeny
Posts: 990 - Karma: 11

well put. what a dumbass

Feb 17 2010 10:57PM
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SteezyOhio
Posts: 6044 - Karma: 60


no homo? sounds good.
Feb 17 2010 11:00PM
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affirmative
Posts: 16 - Karma: 10
I think I might have a grasp on what you're saying. 95% of people will die from causes that they could have prevented ex. Smoking-Cancer. But 5% will die naturally ex Old Age. Prolly not, just a thought
Feb 17 2010 11:22PM
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SteezyOhio
Posts: 6044 - Karma: 60
i wish this is what he was saying, yet i think his original post was more or less a fragment of thought, often referred to as a brain shit.
Feb 17 2010 11:24PM
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[Dawn
Posts: 1718 - Karma: 69
You got this from that bread thread (lul)
Feb 17 2010 11:56PM
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SteezyOhio
Posts: 6044 - Karma: 60
ahhh what a classic thread it t'was, i cannot claim it as my genuine humor, yet it did fit well in this thread, do you not agree?
Feb 18 2010 12:10AM
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Ninjedi01
Posts: 98 - Karma: -5
That kind of thing is open to debate, but there are certainly people out there who are immortal, like Chuck Norris, Wolverine, and Dr. Manhattan, among others. My best estimate would be around .05% of the population is immortal, which, when you think about it, is an amazingly high number, seeing as how most of you didn't even know that there were any immortal people at all until I just enlightened you. They are all remarkably skilled in the ability to conceal themselves in society. Some of them even fake their own deaths to hide their immortality, so it's important to always keep your eye out for them, since not all of them have good morals.
Feb 18 2010 10:10PM
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the.cheat
Posts: 2859 - Karma: 171
really? i would put it at around .02 percent of our population will be immortal. there are so many million people here...
Feb 18 2010 10:16PM
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apcaipse
Posts: 2168 - Karma: 25
This thread has changed my life.
Well played, my good sir.
Feb 18 2010 10:18PM
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hellomynameisjef
Posts: 5794 - Karma: 167
anyone else here immortal? i dont wanna spend eternity with someone who doesnt ski
Feb 18 2010 10:34PM
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Hansel.
Posts: 4583 - Karma: 112
i like rice
Feb 18 2010 10:37PM
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Uncle.Badness
Posts: 2545 - Karma: 55
You are kinda screwed up.
Feb 18 2010 10:38PM
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SteezyOhio
Posts: 6044 - Karma: 60
just so you know, im starting a Ginger Genocide, I've already got the war-machine wheel turning, i plan to wipe out the entire ginger race, by administering a sterilization injection to all gingers, as it will prevent any ginger children from being born, and will finally achieve a superior human race....non-gingers.
Feb 18 2010 10:39PM
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Hansel.
Posts: 4583 - Karma: 112
then all of the snow sports world will come crashing down. just fyi


oh btw. i still like rice
Feb 18 2010 10:49PM
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Parrish
Posts: 8695 - Karma: 1,009
I think I am. We can spend eternity together skiing somewhere.
Feb 18 2010 10:55PM
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kpow
Posts: 373 - Karma: 33
Bruce Lee killed Chuck Norris in "Way of the Dragon"
Feb 18 2010 10:59PM
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hellomynameisjef
Posts: 5794 - Karma: 167
shut the fuck up you dirty hooker
Feb 18 2010 11:03PM
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