Sophomore year, somewhat new to drinking, i decided to test out how much I could have at a party, a water bottle of tequila later the cops bust in. At that point I was relaxing on the comforting felt of a pool table, and I was interrupted by some screaming bitch closely followed by the law
I had two failed attempts to escape, one involving punching a screen out of a two story window another where I tried to dive into the safe confines under the host's parents' bed. Unfortunately, the bed was quite low to the ground, and hiding under the sleeping device was physically impossible, much to my dismay.
Then we were sat down by the under utilized officers of my sheltered suburb, and they let us know they would breathalyze us. Well I knew my options here, get outta there, or stand up and be fucked. As most of the guilty party patrons began their tweaking out I began my escape plan. One freshman girl was having a panic attack, while one of my friends stroked her hair (i know, wtf), meanwhile I was scanning for an exit.
After 30 minutes of the fastest sobering up I have ever done thanks to adrenaline, I settled on a deviously stupid plan. Walk out the back door as if I was on my phone, then book it. Simple, yet retarded, but with a hint of luck it just might work.
Well work it did, I escaped and received no disciplinary action. Apparently I ran a few miles through backyards, I really wasn't sure, I just though the cops were probably on my tail, which they weren't, and if I stopped I would be arrested, which wouldnt have happened. In the end 20 ish people got mips and only 3 escaped, me being one of the three.
Morale of the story: run from a party if you have a chance
