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If your skis could talk what would they say?

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SKIU4EA
Posts: 2387 - Karma: 2,072

Mine, would probably sound something like...

" When are you going to stop being such a little pussy and go hit the bigger shit?  Oh, and it wouldn't hurt to slap some wax on me once in a while." 

Feb 2 2010 6:53PM
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sagesnow
Posts: 3116 - Karma: 1,593
no my friend i think its you who doesnt understand. i said it was a JOKE because the other guy thought i was serious. im not actually mad i was just saying i said that joke, make sense? besides, another person claimed his joke too
Feb 3 2010 7:49PM
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HankTheTank
Posts: 286 - Karma: 17
"I want you to mount me. Right now."
Feb 3 2010 7:52PM
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travispersaud
Posts: 501 - Karma: 42
" if you fall on this jump i will break myself." my skis are emo. damn threats.
Feb 3 2010 10:01PM
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Buzzell
Posts: 656 - Karma: 19
"a tune up would be nice every once in a while. and stop running over rocks in the woods"
Feb 3 2010 10:06PM
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oreopancake.
Posts: 2596 - Karma: 21
Why don't you look at me during?
Feb 3 2010 10:09PM
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austinmetsch
Posts: 525 - Karma: 17
"Please stop doing that afterbang thing you do. It's starting to hurt."
Feb 3 2010 11:10PM
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BroBomb
Posts: 500 - Karma: 1,726
read BroBomb?
Feb 3 2010 11:11PM
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steezc-ross
Posts: 822 - Karma: 1,156
"Dammit what the hell are you doing now...What the Fuck am i doing on the side of the rail. WHAT you just slammed me into the side of the rail dammit what the hell.  You Call that a Hippy Killer What the FUCK"

They would get pissed often
Feb 3 2010 11:22PM
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ben-jamm-in
Posts: 344 - Karma: 174
"thanks for knockin ma edge out today ya dick!"
Feb 3 2010 11:46PM
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ski-swagga
Posts: 5276 - Karma: 219
"ride me harder"
Feb 3 2010 11:50PM
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asapCferg
Posts: 3057 - Karma: 358
Get me some more snow to ski on :)
Feb 3 2010 11:53PM
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Malcolm
Posts: 15951 - Karma: 9,451
i lost my edge a while ago
Feb 3 2010 11:57PM
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DoublyDeeze
Posts: 625 - Karma: 3,863
do u and heath share skis?
Feb 3 2010 11:59PM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
My '09 Line Anthems would say:


"When can I beat up those XC race skis? They think they're sooo great with their 11m turn radius!!"

"Will you ever show up my cocky younger brother Invader? I'm tired of boxes!" (my bro rides invaders)

"Thank you for not beating the shit outta me so far like your friend's Dumonts. I hear they've become addicted to huffing red wax because of it!" (I'm making up a ski drug right meau.)

"get those filthy snowboards off me you damn dirty snowboarder!!"


I could go on and on...but I need to think of more.
Feb 4 2010 12:02AM
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TGdude
Posts: 290 - Karma: 10
why did you ruin your season by falling so damn hard?  we miss the snow!
Feb 4 2010 12:20AM
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Remora
Posts: 196 - Karma: 11
"I left my packing box for THIS!?"
Feb 4 2010 12:27AM
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poopandflush
Posts: 251 - Karma: 15
"why on earth would you mount me 10cm back? Im a symetrical park ski for god sakes!"
Feb 4 2010 12:45AM
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elemeno89
Posts: 1582 - Karma: 79
"mmmmmm  i love rebarb...."
Feb 4 2010 12:51AM
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nepnw11
Posts: 105 - Karma: 163
"wow...you suck ass kid...probably should just stop skiing park"

Feb 4 2010 10:45AM
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flexpattern
Posts: 1090 - Karma: 45
"i think we need to score coke bitches!"
Feb 4 2010 12:15PM
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Klick_2_klaim
Posts: 3396 - Karma: 25
youre fat and not good at skiing, get off of us.
Feb 4 2010 12:16PM
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ABH
Posts: 309 - Karma: 11
A wise man will make more opportunities than he finds.

-Sir Francis Bacon
Feb 4 2010 12:32PM
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ChrisSkisChronic
Posts: 1128 - Karma: 230
"KAAWWW KAAAAAAWWWWWWW!!! I'm a fuckin raven, KAAAWWWWWW"
Feb 4 2010 3:45PM
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oreopancake.
Posts: 2596 - Karma: 21

I always had the feeling that my old suspects would be whiny bitches that never wanted to do anything and always complained.

"Ow ow owowow, why are you doing that? What are you doing? Why are you going there? No no no no, I'm going to fucking break I swear! Put me back in my box! Owwwwwwwww."

Feb 4 2010 6:29PM
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p-fo
Posts: 9372 - Karma: 6,155
my anthems would be saying:
"you call that a kfed? what the fuck youre retarded! and you ripped my brake off doing a blind 2! im tired of rails. i want some pow and big jumps."
Feb 4 2010 6:43PM
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P.opsicle
Posts: 478 - Karma: 29
"damn son! you ride me too hard"
Feb 4 2010 6:54PM
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tbayjibber
Posts: 326 - Karma: 62
"oh yes OH YES OH YES!!!!!"
Feb 4 2010 7:55PM
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Dr.Brown
Posts: 588 - Karma: 21
"What is love? Baby don't hurt me, don't hurt me ... no more."
Feb 4 2010 8:05PM
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Brock.
Posts: 5698 - Karma: 1,332
hmm, im pretty sure my 2 1/2 year old spk's would say something along the lines of..

"god, just put me out of my misery!"
Feb 4 2010 8:29PM
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jjdsteeze
Posts: 2562 - Karma: 4,135
:)
Feb 4 2010 8:32PM
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Baskin.
Posts: 1387 - Karma: 13
"look at those muthafuckin rockered skis they think they are the hottest shit on the mountain...wait until I shit in their mouths!"
Feb 4 2010 8:35PM
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loofa
Posts: 11 - Karma: 10
FUCK. OFF. PRICK.
Feb 4 2010 11:55PM
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chapz
Posts: 10182 - Karma: 66
"stop suffocating me! this snow is too deep!"
Feb 5 2010 12:00AM
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Daydreaming
Posts: 1686 - Karma: 48
"You ass! my bases are pockmarked, when the hell are you going to have me patched and waxed? also you need to grow some hair on those peaches and drop bigger shit and ski faster. seriously, come on."
Feb 5 2010 12:27AM
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jeremy.g
Posts: 4931 - Karma: 459
you're fat and you're tacky and i hate you
Feb 5 2010 12:46AM
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yojimbo
Posts: 3631 - Karma: 27
"thank you for loving me the way you do"

or

"fuck yahh doood, that was whicked gnahhly"
Feb 5 2010 1:02AM
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A-Lee
Posts: 256 - Karma: 19
mine would probably say "don't be a bitch and stop under shooting that jump god dammit" or, "don't be stupid and take these shit px12's off and put on those nice sexy jesters"
Feb 5 2010 1:07AM
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Rafe
Posts: 254 - Karma: 13
"stay forward you pussy"

or

"i'm meant for snow not rocks you dumbfuck!"
Feb 5 2010 1:19AM
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gnarles.
Posts: 2587 - Karma: 130
well my skis make love to the snow
Feb 5 2010 1:26AM
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-justice-
Posts: 1808 - Karma: 37
park skis:  "You think you can just use me and abuse me?!" 

pow skis:  "I had fun last night." 

median skis:  "We don't talk anymore..."
Feb 5 2010 1:53AM
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BoomBotix
Posts: 885 - Karma: 200
TMs: If you hit ONE more rail, it's over.  We're through.  Look at me!?  I look like  a god damned geriatric with my edges falling out, sidewalls collapsing.  What do you say we just take it easy?
Feb 5 2010 3:22AM
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Hogis
Posts: 551 - Karma: 393
"I love butters, but dont you think there's a limit?"
Feb 5 2010 4:31AM
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squibble
Posts: 4569 - Karma: 104
fuck it, lets go skiing
Feb 5 2010 4:55AM
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feihlination
Posts: 8356 - Karma: 1,084
"please let me hang out with those chick skis, some roxys or so, i could surely use some action."


Feb 5 2010 8:18AM
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Newschool_Pope
Posts: 2473 - Karma: 267

my Hellbents: "are you as stupid as you look? why on earth are you skiing me on rails? ts, ts, way too much park rats these days"    XD    but i think my hellbents still love me.

Feb 5 2010 8:40AM
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G-shred
Posts: 7 - Karma: 10
this is a sweet thread. I had a story published in Powder Magazine about this very same topic in the September 2007 (vol36 issue 1)  page 72.  Skis have feelings to you know....
Feb 5 2010 9:20AM
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Cincher
Posts: 3403 - Karma: 535
Hahahaha exactly, mine would also ask where all the Celebrities, Shadows and Missdemeanors are at. I've only seen one pair at my local hill. Ever.

New one!
"Woo hoo, you're awesome! I can't believe we beat a racer switch!"
Feb 5 2010 10:48AM
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Daydreaming
Posts: 1686 - Karma: 48
School of Win!
Feb 5 2010 10:52AM
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nipples-the-cat
Posts: 643 - Karma: 28

rock skis/ twon skis- what the fuck is wrong with you.. i'm not ment for pavement..

pow skis- drop a clif for once god dammit your a pussy.. grow some peaches for once.. \

i am pretty sure my ski would have turretts

Feb 5 2010 11:13AM
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SkiingNinja
Posts: 1967 - Karma: 900
"thank you for not mounting me in the rear"
Mar 2 2010 11:36AM
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