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KilaTsunami
October, 2024

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Korny jokes that took you a secondd...

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DAS~SEND
Posts: 32 - Karma: 18
I was drivin home the other day and this girl was hitch hiking with 1 leg, so i told her to hop in. Best of all her name was eileen.

took me a good 10 minutes to figure out the irony of this joke lmfao
Jan 6 2010 8:09PM
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twin-tip-hero
Posts: 2896 - Karma: 277
Why do they keep fences around cemeteries?
because people are dying to get it!



Jan 7 2010 8:46AM
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twin-tip-hero
Posts: 2896 - Karma: 277
*TYPO ERROR*

*Because people are dying to get IN*

sorry for the double post just could not let this one go.
Jan 7 2010 8:47AM
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jamers
Posts: 1311 - Karma: 164
why does snoop dog carry an umbrella?




Fo da drizzle
Jan 7 2010 8:59AM
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Crock360
Posts: 2100 - Karma: 23
A cop's sitting in his cruiser running radar when a guy drives by with a huge animal in the passenger seat. He hits the lights and pulls the guy over.

Guy: Is there a problem officer?
Cop: What the hell is that?
Guy: It's a hyena...
Cop: What?! A hyena?! You can't have a hyena! Get the hell out of here, and take that hyena to the zoo.
Guy: But..
Cop: I said take it to the zoo, now before I arrest you!
The guy drives off.

Couple hours later the cop is back running radar, when he sees the same car drive by, and sure enough the hyena appears to still be in the car. He hits the lights, and pulls him over, again.

Guy: Another problem officer?
Cop: What the hell?! I told you to take that friggin hyena to the zoo!
Guy: I did! Now we're goin to the movies...

Jan 7 2010 9:11AM
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JNew
Posts: 227 - Karma: 10
Everyone always uses that from the office.
Jan 7 2010 9:14AM
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Flien
Posts: 139 - Karma: 10
Maybe there is something that I'm missing, but I still don't get this one...?
Jan 7 2010 9:50AM
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14.
Posts: 974 - Karma: 48
Why the fuck do you still come on NS?
im just wondering cause everyone pretty much hates you
Its like your the one kid at school who everyone hates
Just go jump in front of a truck or something ? please?
for the sake of all exsistence
Jan 7 2010 9:50AM
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OhMyBosh
Posts: 5056 - Karma: 171
i dont know what youre talking about... everyone loves me here.
Jan 7 2010 10:23AM
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blindside
Posts: 5619 - Karma: 1,199
What's the best park about fucking a pregnant woman?


you get head at the same time..
Jan 7 2010 10:36AM
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str8jiberish
Posts: 87 - Karma: 13
Ur a joke. ooooh BURN
Jan 7 2010 10:40AM
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Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,014
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA so good
Jan 7 2010 10:40AM
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goneforever
Posts: 794 - Karma: 18
A lion would never cheat on it's wife, but a Tiger Wood.
Jan 7 2010 11:05AM
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goneforever
Posts: 794 - Karma: 18
*its
Jan 7 2010 11:05AM
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Steeze_Cake
Posts: 613 - Karma: 16
Tiger Woods hit a tree and a fire hydrant, guess he couldn't choose between a wood and iron.

Tiger likes buying expensive cars and now he has a hole-in-one.

What's the difference between a golf ball and an escalade?
Tiger would can drive a golfball more than 200 yards.

Tiger Woods recently got in trouble by his wife, when at the thanksgiving table he asked if he could have another piece of white meat.

Tiger woods found out that one of the girls were saying he was great in bed, so he paid her 2 million to keep talking.

Phil Mickleson asked Tigers wife for tips on how to beat tiger.

The porn industry recently called Tiger Woods to have him sign a contract for his new show, "The Woody Wood's Pecker Show"

Tiger finished the tournament with a horrible effort of +18, they said he kept putting it into the wrong damn hole!


those are all i remember :P

and im giving some of them props to Leno and the rest to websites.

not claiming them as my own
Jan 7 2010 11:24AM
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bstuck1
Posts: 426 - Karma: 46
What's brown and rhymes with Snoop?






Dr, Dre
Jan 7 2010 12:06PM
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spliff.Life
Posts: 7847 - Karma: 1,549
Hey what were you eating underthere?

"underwear?"

you were eating underwear?! gross!





Jan 7 2010 12:13PM
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Steezius_Maximus
Posts: 1152 - Karma: 22
seriously
Jan 7 2010 12:25PM
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bibs_skibum
Posts: 4462 - Karma: 449
so two muffins are sitting in a muffin tin getting cooked, and one muffin says to the other "Its getting kinda hot in here eh?"

The other muffin replies, "HOLY FUCK A TALKING MUFFIN!"
Jan 7 2010 2:27PM
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theabortionator
Posts: 51662 - Karma: 162,475
because one is still attached to the tree by a rope. Awful awful joke, but i got it
Jan 7 2010 2:45PM
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wintersway
Posts: 5115 - Karma: 128
thanks, i was just about to post the full answer as well. i thought it was pretty obvious.
Jan 7 2010 3:45PM
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ifli
Posts: 449 - Karma: 21
two hats were sitting on a rack when one said i'll go on a head.

Jan 7 2010 4:02PM
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CrunkNugget
Posts: 1279 - Karma: 16
how does a toronto mom know when her daughter has had her first period?

when she tastes her son's dick
Jan 7 2010 5:42PM
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Uhgah
Posts: 129 - Karma: 10
Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
Jan 7 2010 6:05PM
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Baskin.
Posts: 1387 - Karma: 13
knock knock!
whos there?
fuck you!
sorry....
Jan 7 2010 6:12PM
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inactive
Posts: 4772 - Karma: 97
incest is all relative
Jan 7 2010 6:13PM
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Baskin.
Posts: 1387 - Karma: 13
LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL
great joke
Jan 7 2010 6:16PM
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blindside
Posts: 5619 - Karma: 1,199
this reminds me of another joke..

A daughter asks her dad if she can borrow the car, her dad replies sure but you have to blow me first. The daughter complies, two seconds later she says dad your dick taste like shit! The dad says oh right, your brother has the car.
Jan 7 2010 6:18PM
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teleak
Posts: 2251 - Karma: 105

she hopped in- only has one leg

name was eileen- I lean.

Jan 7 2010 6:39PM
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Kevski
Posts: 7056 - Karma: 2,785
Haha this thread is outrageous. Kinda made my day.

One guy sees another guy at a bar who is showing off a miniature man playing the piano. The first guy asks the second guy how he got the little man. The second guy pulls out a bottle and says he got it from a genie who grants wishes, and no longer needs the genie. He gives it to the first guy, who is granted a wish and decides to ask for a million bucks.
Seconds later, a duck flies in. Then another. Then another. Ducks keep streaming in to the bar. The man exclaims "I asked for a million bucks, not a million ducks!" He turns to the second man in anger and says there's a problem with the genie. The second man then says, "You really think I asked for a ten inch pianist?"
Jan 7 2010 6:45PM
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Burrrlapz
Posts: 371 - Karma: 6,788
Make like a tree and leaf....
Jan 7 2010 6:53PM
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geezy_steezer
Posts: 70 - Karma: 37
an old woman is having a hard time getting sexually aroused so she sees her doctor. he gives her some pills that make the old woman extremely horny. later she runs around the retirement home yelling "Super pussy! Super pussy!" then she goes up to two men sitting on a bench and says "Super pussy! how bout you boys?" one of them men looks at the other and says "i'll have the soup"
Jan 7 2010 6:55PM
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Crock360
Posts: 2100 - Karma: 23
Guy walks into a bar, slaps a pile of cash down on the counter and says "A round for the house on me!"

A leggy blonde walks up to him, says "Wow, that generous of you. Are you celebrating tonight?"

Guy: Yeah today was great. I got an awesome promotion, which came with a huge pay raise, so i figured I'd come out, get drunk, and then tonight I'm getting laid!"

She says "You seem pretty confident, how can you be so sure?"

Guy: because I'm stronger than you...
Jan 7 2010 8:40PM
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C.Wood
Posts: 2524 - Karma: 180
this reminds me of something we have at school called tys joke of the week on the announcements, now this kid is a bit slow lets say but i don't mean it in any offensive way. but his jokes are fairly bad

here's some

what happened when the wheel was invented? there was a revolution

Why did the boy climb the tree with his hockey stick? So he could play with the maples leafs

a termite walks into a bar and asks "wheres the bartender"

there's a bunch of other ones i forget at the moment right now but he says another one tomorrow so i will post it in the thread
Jan 7 2010 8:55PM
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MikeTK
Posts: 549 - Karma: 126
hahaha thats awesome =]
Jan 7 2010 9:07PM
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henrytargett
Posts: 903 - Karma: 35
this made me laugh
Jan 7 2010 9:08PM
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Kevski
Posts: 7056 - Karma: 2,785
Ok I feel retarded but I don't get it. Anyone mind explaining?
Jan 7 2010 9:14PM
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Kevski
Posts: 7056 - Karma: 2,785
FUCK hahaha now I get it. Wow.
Jan 7 2010 9:15PM
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corona
Posts: 12795 - Karma: 32,751
how do you tell your friend is gay?

his dick tastes like shit
Jan 7 2010 9:16PM
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MikeTK
Posts: 549 - Karma: 126
haha thats pretty nasty but it made me laugh
Jan 7 2010 9:19PM
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natty.
Posts: 857 - Karma: 34
and another one (hope its not a repost) : Q) "Whats a pirates favorite type of movie?"
A) "AAHHRRRRR"


Jan 7 2010 9:23PM
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Crack.
Posts: 6020 - Karma: 84
bahahahahahahaa
Jan 7 2010 9:26PM
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blong131
Posts: 2193 - Karma: 59
whats brown and sticky?






























A STICK
Jan 7 2010 9:33PM
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OhMyBosh
Posts: 5056 - Karma: 171
horror? bit of a stretch. lol'd at the other one though.
Jan 7 2010 9:39PM
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Kevski
Posts: 7056 - Karma: 2,785
Along the same lines: What's the difference between a cucumber and a mountain? One's a mountain and one's a vegetable.


Jan 7 2010 10:03PM
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Franny
Posts: 3980 - Karma: 77
What does a scientist say when he stubs his toes? Owwwww Mitosis!
Jan 7 2010 10:09PM
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.brian
Posts: 1710 - Karma: 233
Whats long, hard, black and full of seamen?

















A SUBMARINE
Jan 7 2010 10:34PM
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GreenHorn
Posts: 4896 - Karma: 1,209
^ ive never heard the "black" part of that joke
Jan 7 2010 10:42PM
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ifli
Posts: 449 - Karma: 21
uhh? LOLWUT am i missing something or is it just that stupid
Jan 7 2010 11:01PM
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Get.Kronk
Posts: 2543 - Karma: 226
its funny because its that stupid
Jan 7 2010 11:02PM
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OhMyBosh
Posts: 5056 - Karma: 171
cucumber = fruit.
Jan 7 2010 11:02PM
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