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Funniest thing you've heard someone say?

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JRubes
Posts: 48 - Karma: 14
Kinda bored so I'm wondering... what are some of the funniest things you've ever heard from someone. I mean in person too. Or just any thing recent that provides a good laugh. For example the quote in my signature.
Dec 15 2009 9:40PM
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Canuker
Posts: 4730 - Karma: 165

Good idea i guess but i smell a fail, this thread will be full with "you had to be there" moments...

but we'll see

Dec 15 2009 9:42PM
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JRubes
Posts: 48 - Karma: 14
Yeah I feel the fail rushing this way. It has potential =/
Dec 15 2009 9:43PM
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easybreezy
Posts: 34 - Karma: 10
you know how those campbells chicken noodle soup things have red plastic tops with holes in them? my friend told me it was there so the chicken can breathe...
Dec 15 2009 9:44PM
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Brenone
Posts: 4944 - Karma: 296

i actually heard it here on NS check it:

https://www.newschoolers.com/web/forums/readthread/thread_id/507624/

Dec 15 2009 9:44PM
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Jimmy.
Posts: 2888 - Karma: 27
beat me to it.
Dec 15 2009 9:46PM
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JRubes
Posts: 48 - Karma: 14
correct me if i'm wrong but i leads back to this thread. This seems interesting.... fix?
Dec 15 2009 9:46PM
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Jimmy.
Posts: 2888 - Karma: 27
hhahahaha holy shit that's epic.
Dec 15 2009 9:47PM
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207
Posts: 8969 - Karma: 3,846
someone on MW2 called me a "fiery mongolian"

it was so retarded it was funny.
Dec 15 2009 9:48PM
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JRubes
Posts: 48 - Karma: 14
Thats hilarious. The last one like that I heard was "Well, fuck me in the butt and call me Charlie"... I think i like that one a bit more.
Dec 15 2009 9:49PM
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Canuker
Posts: 4730 - Karma: 165

hahahaha, that was the point of the joke.

no worries dude

Dec 15 2009 9:50PM
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carbon.pulse
Posts: 3348 - Karma: 22
lolz u retarted
Dec 15 2009 9:51PM
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erikK
Posts: 3245 - Karma: 2,328
Well no one said it but when I was in elementary school, grade 7 to be exact.  We walk around a corner of the school and there's a kinda mini forest thing with a couple trees and shit in it, and some little girl in like grade 2 or 3 was just making out with this tree.  Like full on.  Me and my friends started laughing so fucking hard, but she was too far away to hear.  She goes at it for like a good minute, stopping a couple times and looking at the tree like she was trying to seduce it.  There's also like a bunch of kids scattered around this area that didn't even seem to notice the phenomena that was unfolding before them.  I often wish I could relive that moment...so good
Dec 15 2009 9:57PM
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Phantom
Posts: 908 - Karma: 180
i tried to give you +k just for being retarded and making me laugh, but even when i gave you 10/10, your karma remained at 0....this seems interesting..fix?
Dec 15 2009 10:00PM
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easybreezy
Posts: 34 - Karma: 10
hahahahah have you ever seen superstar??

[url]http://www.blogcdn.com/www.lemondrop.com/media/2009/06/mary-katherine-gallagher-294-paramount.jpg[/url]

Dec 15 2009 10:00PM
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Username_42069
Posts: 1591 - Karma: 15
"shut the fuck up night john"
Dec 15 2009 10:03PM
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.travis.
Posts: 1737 - Karma: 46
While I was walking down congress street in Portland, Maine I see a guy up ahead trying to park his truck with his wife on the sidewalk yelling at him. They were an older couple and looked like they probably lived in the woods, you know dirty and toothless. When i finally got up to the couple the lady turns to me and says, "God damn it, I told him not to drive after he's taken that many pills".

Also, in New York I saw a like 30 year old black woman walking down the middle of the street singing "Yes indeed, I smokes that fuckin' weed"
Dec 15 2009 10:06PM
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Negro_Jesus
Posts: 1789 - Karma: 91

last year i was playing COD4 and i shot a guy on my team and killed him

he sent me a voice message telling me how stupid i was and that he was going to hunt me down and kill my family and stuff like that

Dec 15 2009 10:09PM
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baethoven
Posts: 4953 - Karma: 332

after seeing this i maxed him out, but still no beans.

someone karma raped ya dog.

Dec 15 2009 10:13PM
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Piste.Off
Posts: 11586 - Karma: 1,860
you can't kill your own team on cod 4
Dec 15 2009 10:17PM
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baethoven
Posts: 4953 - Karma: 332
hardcore.
Dec 15 2009 10:20PM
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207
Posts: 8969 - Karma: 3,846
only in portland!
Dec 15 2009 10:20PM
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gmack24
Posts: 4636 - Karma: 31
I was playing COD MW2 and we worked this team... So once the game is over, a kid on my team goes "woww you guys are fags you were camping the whole time"....and a kid on the other team with the funniest voice says "we weren't camping! we were too afraid to move!!"
Dec 15 2009 10:20PM
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NataliePortman
Posts: 1382 - Karma: 84
endless loop! im stuck! oh em G zachs
Dec 15 2009 10:22PM
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cjdubya17
Posts: 126 - Karma: 11
my friends and i were chilling in my friends room and my friend yells to his brother "dylan if youre gonna be a cock, get the shit out!!" it made no sense at all. needless to say, we still make fun of him for saying this.

also i have a friend who says the most random shit ever (he's actually on NS but idk his name). he calls people chicken sandwiches and calls me an egg-beater. it makes no sense at all. most people find him annoying but its his niche in the world i guess.
Dec 15 2009 10:27PM
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easybreezy
Posts: 34 - Karma: 10
i know what you mean my brothers friend calls people dick wrinkle and tuna salad and weird shit like that. doesn't make much sense but its funny
Dec 15 2009 10:32PM
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theblackrod
Posts: 2162 - Karma: 575
you're signature is wrong, and by wrong i mean your aesop quote.

"lifes not a bitch, life is a beautiful woman, you only call her a bitch because she won't let you get that pussy."
Dec 15 2009 10:39PM
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DFull15
Posts: 151 - Karma: 40
My friend asked this hoe about college and said...

"What are you majoring in? Small tit bitch who sucks dick?"
Dec 15 2009 10:40PM
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erikK
Posts: 3245 - Karma: 2,328
Hahaha nice.  Me and like 3 or 4 kids at my table were playing hangman in our mechanics class because our teacher is retarded and it's like the most boring class ever.  I write down the lines and everyone but 1 kid ask "what's the subject?" and the other kid like 2 seconds later just has the biggest grin on his face and he's like "hey guys, what's the, JUBject?" It was so funny, cause it was like the kid that everyone makes fun of in a jokingly way, and he thought it was going to be like really funny.  He bug him about it so much.
Dec 15 2009 10:51PM
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.AR6rider.
Posts: 15976 - Karma: 8,799
When I was a freshman in college, the dorms were set up so that two rooms shared one bathroom and were called suites.  So anyways, one night I heard my suitemate through the wall having sex with his girlfriend, and then they got in the shower.  A few minutes later I heard her yell, "What the hell! Are you peeing in the shower?"  He responded by saying, "It's not that gross, considering I just washed your shit off my dick."  I've probably heard funnier but this was the first thing that came to mind.
Dec 16 2009 1:47AM
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JRubes
Posts: 48 - Karma: 14
l guess she cant complain
Dec 16 2009 7:42PM
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skithesprings
Posts: 9086 - Karma: 1,349
during a preview for a school play that we were forced into watching a guy was giving a girl a backrub and the line was bend over and tell me if this feels good, i have no idea what im doing. and some kid yelled thats what she said really loud and the whole auditorium of like 600+ people busted out laughing
Dec 16 2009 7:48PM
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Waffle11
Posts: 481 - Karma: 16
my friend describing the test we just took: "Dude, that test sucked fat chode"
Dec 16 2009 7:59PM
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sneezin
Posts: 632 - Karma: 430
friend was talking about root - "dude i fingered my brother so good last night"

Dec 16 2009 8:08PM
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