So I was lounging on my couch with my laptop, a nice cold glass of iced tea, and some pretzels. I was feeling pretty tired so I wanted to bring my empty glass of iced tea and bag pretzels back to the kitchen and relocate to my bed where I could just fall asleep at my leisure. There was too much to carry in my hands, so naturally I pulled the old "carry the cup in your mouth trick." Big fucking mistake. I put the glass in my mouth and clenched it between my teeth for carrying purposes. As I stand up PART OF THE FUCKING GLASS SHATTERS IN MY FUCKING MOUTH. I FUCKING BIT PART OF THE GLASS OFF. So I'm standing there, like a fucking idiot, with a MOUTHFUL OF FUCKING GLASS thinking,"What the fuck just happened?!" I cut the inside of my lip up a bit, but thank god I didn't completely fuck up my mouth. I had to share this with someone. Next time I'll take two trips.
Sparknotes - I bit a fucking piece of a glass cup off with my teeth.
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