So this just went down. Everyone around has heard funny stories about people putting icy hot on their balls but I thought I should share. My roommate and I decided it would be funny to offer our third roommate $20 each to put some on his ball sack so we could video tape his reaction. This kid thinks he is the man and is in the ROTC and stuff and readily accepts.
He puts in on. Grimaces a little. We had already seen youtube videos with kids freaking out so the fact that there is really no reaction pisses us off. 15 minutes pass, nothing. $20 dollars down the tube. Well, I had some other icy hot around that is applied by a rolling ball but the actual liquid is more than twice as strong. We decide fuck it, twenty a piece more if he rubs on the whole bottle after we pried out the rolling ball. (I realize, slightly gay sounding. I'm cool with it.)
He applies it. Once again grimacing but little reaction. Fuck, $40 wasted I thought. Twenty minutes pass. He rates the pain at five out of ten. Well, It then started to intensify. Decides to go take a shower but says it doesn't really help. Fast forward five minutes and this kid is legitimately on the floor of the bathroom in the fetal position and is grabbing his thighs so hard he started bleeding. Makes grunting noises only. Roommate and I laughing hysterically, but also slightly worried. 5 minutes later a 22 year old former ranked boxer is actually crying in the fetal position, tears streaming from his eyes. "My balls are purple", groans, "I think they are swelling up," more groaning, "I think something is wrong." We actually start to get worried, we were hoping for pain but this may be overboard.
I decide to call poison control center and an elderly woman answers. Me "umm hello, my roommate seems to have spilled some concentrated menthol on himself. Could that have any serious effects?" Her: "Okay, what was the product and where did it spill?" Me: "Icy hot long lasting... And, umm, on his groin area." Her: "Really?" Me: "Yes, Really" Roommate still in bathroom groaning. And ranks pain eleven out of ten.
The poison centers advice was to run warm water on it for 15 min, if that doesn't help, go to the hospital.. He does this, but has to get out of the shower to vomit from the pain." 15 minutes later. He claims pain down to a nine. However, one testical is apparently quite swollen. This is where we are now about an hour into the whole thing. He's sitting on the couch, hist dick and balls are purple, but says he would never go to the hospital out of pure embarrassment.
Best $40 I ever spent.
