Replying to WAR MACHINE

You know what’s not smart? Tweeting about being on the lam. Who would do such a thing? If you guessed former UFC fighter turned porn star War Machine you’d be correct.

War Machine (real name Jon Koppenhaver) starred in a season of The Ultimate Fighter in 2007, then went on to have a pretty successful professional career of 10 wins and three losses in 13 fights. After being kicked out of the UFC for making controversial comments (and refusing a proposed fight), he bounced around various independent mixed martial arts promotions.

All of that ended a few weeks ago when he signed on with a pornographic film talent agency. He shot a few scenes (I’m sure you can find them if you look around), and everything seemed to be going well for War Machine. But, being War Machine (read: sorta crazy), you knew it wasn’t going to last.

It didn’t. War Machine attended the birthday party of a famous porn lady at the weekend in Los Angeles. It went well for a little while, but then he, I don’t know, lost his mind.

Here’s an account from the Wrestling Observer:

I attended a Bday party for a well known porn chick last night in LA and former UFC fighter and now male porn star War Machine showed up. He was invited and was being normal and cool…Something happened with him and another porn chick (believed to be a girl he’s dating) and all hell broke loose…He snapped (roid rage) and broke one guys’ nose, knocked out another guys’ tooth, and knocked out another guy who had to be taken to the hospital. ..Police and paramedics were called…War Machine was able to get away before the cops arrived…He has since been taken off of his agents’ site and needless to say his career in porn may be no more.

All well and good—and hilarious—but not necessarily relevant to us here.

Until War Machine decided to tweet about his night.

Fuck…last night was NOT good…lil’ misunderstanding and then WM was back in effect and the bodies hit the floor. I’m fucked…Pretty sure my porn days are over. Prolly be going to jail too…when they find me…haha

Can I just say how amazing the phrase “WM was back in effect” is? Yes, I think I can.

It’s interesting to note that the most salacious tweet, the one taunting the police to find him, has since been deleted.

And then there’s this tweet:

I love wasting money on bail…lol

Let this be a lesson to y’all: if you freak out at a party, and knock people out left and right, and fully expect to be questioned by the police over your involvement, don’t tweet something like, “I dare you to find me, copper!”

Spark notes - Ex-UFC fighter turned porn star starts breaking heads in an orgy