College Essay Helpppp

So I'm working on my college essay thinking who could help me out with it, proof read it and what not, and I thought, why not newschoolers?  So here it is.  If you've got some time it would be awesome if you guys read it and gave me some feedback.   Any and all suggestions, new ideas, grammar mistakes, all of that stuff, is greatly appreciated. 

Thanks NS!

“SSSSCCCCRREEEECH” I am shaken awake by the sound of the tires skidding as the plane slams into the ground, attempting to stop from break-neck speeds.  I hate this part of flying.  Yet, like always, the pilot safely and somewhat smoothly lands us back on planet earth.  Normally at this point I would be thinking about the coming winter season and planning out all the powder I will be skiing that year, but this time I have something new on my mind.  Boarding school.  It is quite a daunting idea, flying 3,000 miles just for school.  Many people still ask me why I do it.  It was the most difficult decision of my life, but the ends justify the means.  After weighing the pros and cons of public school at home and private boarding school, it finally became apparent that boarding school would be an unbelievable opportunity that should not be passed up.  It is comparable to the choice of waking up early to get the first tracks on a fresh powder day at the mountain, or sleeping in and getting rest.  One can rest almost any other day, but fresh powder does not come around as often.  From this I have learned to look for any and all opportunities and to use them to the best of my ability.  Going to The Governor’s Academy was one of those opportunities.  Although the work has been very hard, it has taught me many important lessons about myself. At school I’ve discovered my passion for playing the drums, often playing for hours in my free time to fulfill one of my goals of playing professionally someday.  I have always been involved in music.  Since the ripe age of 5 I have been playing some sort of instrument, ranging from the violin to the baritone saxophone.  I have settled on the drums, finding freedom and joy every time I sit down to the kit.  When I am not honing in on my skills at the drum kit, I try to become as involved in the Governor’s Academy community as I can.  Volunteering to help those less fortunate at school for the Special Olympics and at home with Habitat for Humanity has been very rewarding.  Sports such as ice hockey have played a big role in my life and were one of the reasons to seek out boarding school.  Now that I have been exposed to many different sports, I find enjoyment and camaraderie in the team atmosphere working together to win or at least do our best to represent our school.
My experience at The Governor’s Academy has taught me to become even more independent.  I can only rely on myself to be the motivation to get my work done on time and to the best of my ability, as opposed to having my parents on my case every night after school.  At times I may not have worked to my full potential, and then at other times I have done exceptionally well.  I have learned to look for help from teachers and friends alike, even when I may think I do not need it. 
Knowing how to deal with these situations has prepared me to be the independent, curious, and successful college student I know I can be.  The flights to The Governor’s Academy and back are still just as long, and I grit my teeth every time the plane touches down, but  it has absolutely been worth it.

Again, thanks a ton!