Replying to I fucking hate my roomate

so its 1 in the morning here.  i have a huuge test tomorrow, i just got back from studying, and my fucking roomate is in the room stoned as hell with his annoying ass friends screaming about halo thats blasting on the tv.  i need to get to bed now, but he wont take the hint.  on top of this (which happens all the fucking time), hes got a few other things he does that pisses me off:

1.  i brought a couch into our room.  payed for it with my money.  this kid sleeps on it every night, and he NEVER asked me if i was ok with it.  i think its gross as fuck and just a little weird seeing as he has a bed across the room.

2.  hes really socially awkward.  he cant talk to girls.  if i bring anyone back, girls or not, he trys to win the conversation and just ends up mumbling and talking too much and making awkward silences

3.  he a hardcore republican.  mccain supporter, racist jokes, the whole 9 yards.  im a democrat, and im ok with republicans, but hes always pushing his views on me and shit. 

4.  the way he talks pisses me off.  idk how to describe it, but chris can vouch for it.  he mumbles all the time, has this low raspy voice, and swears to the point where its inappropriate, which is kind of hard to do being a college kid.

5.  he never leaves me alone when i tell him i need to go to bed early or study or something.  told him i was coming back around 12-1 and going to bed, so he said hed be in someone elses room.  yeah, ok dude.

6. hes always bringing his hick ass redneck, timberland wearing, carhartt loving friends in here, who usually drive here drunk (im REALLY against drunk driving) and come in and fuck my shit up.

7.  hes a MESS.  he takes off clothes and leaves them on the floor, never puts anything away, and when i ask him to clean a little, i usually get something like "nah dude, i dont really care if its messy or not".  is really embarrassing when you get people coming over on weekends and your room is so messy you cant open the door all the way.

8.  hes selfish as hell.  one time my mom was coming over to see the room early one sunday morning, so i asked him really nicely if hed mind not smoking in the room for at least the night before so it doesnt reek of week in the room, and he said fine.  i come back at like 2 sunday morning and hes sitting on the couch smoking a bowl. 

believe it or not, i could go on.  i dont really have anyone to talk to about this besides my mom, cause he hangs out with all the people i hang out with, so i really needed to get that out. 

so now onto the point.  i need some ways of messing with him.  nothing huge, just enough to get me satisfaction.   if anyone has any ideas of funny stuff i could do, post them up.  i dont want anything that would piss him off cause if would be kinda weird rooming with some kid that knows you dont like him.