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random woman jokes

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skiman523

Posts: 572 - Karma: 10

Karma: 10

Posts: 572

Ridiculous

Q.what do you so when your dishwaher breaks

A.kick her in the ass and tell her to get back to work

Q.Why cant woman drive

A.Because there is no road between the bedroom and the kitchen

Q.How many woman does it take to screw in a light bulb.

A.none, let the bitch work in the Dark

Q. why should woman alway know the time

A. theres a clock on the stove

skiman523

Mar 17 2004 2:54PM

0 0

west

Posts: 5229 - Karma: 36

Karma: 36

Posts: 5229

No Life

This is asking for trouble, yet great at the same time!

better to burn out...
...then fade away

Mar 17 2004 2:56PM

0 0

joei

Posts: 2141 - Karma: 20

Karma: 20

Posts: 2141

Addict

ohh boyy.....

im not even going to start anything.....but yes, i agree, you are asking for some Serious bitchin

------------------
.joei.

Girls of NS represent
busted knees 4 LIFE

Mar 17 2004 2:58PM

0 0

skiman523

Posts: 572 - Karma: 10

Karma: 10

Posts: 572

Ridiculous

NOTE
there just jokes if you think there offensive get a sence of humor
skiman523

Mar 17 2004 2:59PM

0 0

4skizzle

Posts: 2384 - Karma: 10

Karma: 10

Posts: 2384

Addict

funny

Eggs and bacon please, eggs over skeezy

Mar 17 2004 3:20PM

0 0

221

Posts: 3488 - Karma: 11

Karma: 11

Posts: 3488

Addict

these are all old

----------------------
'Dude, check out this nasty gouge.'
'Your mom has a nasty gouge.'

'Voice or no voice, the people can always be brought to the bidding of the leaders. That is easy. All you have to do is tell them they are being attacked, and denounce the pacifists for lack of patriotism and exposing the country to greater danger. It works the same in any country.'
-Hermann Goering (1893 - 1946) Commander-in-Chief of the Luftwaffe

Mar 17 2004 3:39PM

0 0

Jib_This

Posts: 8272 - Karma: 9

Karma: 9

Posts: 8272

Crazy Fool

Why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?
To see the look on its face as it goes in!

TMC WUUUUUUUUUUUUUT
WE KILL YOU
SKIER: How would you describe your style?
PJ Cliche: Total skate influence. Even doh dis is on concrete, an you are face sideways, an it has sweet fuck all to do with ski, skate 'as play a huge role wit my steeze.

Mar 17 2004 3:58PM

0 0

five0

Posts: 11466 - Karma: 36

Karma: 36

Posts: 11466

Crazy Fool

why are womens feet so small?
so they can stand closer to the sink
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
'What Would Harvey DO?'

SRMC

'led zeppelin didnt write tunes that everyone liked,they left that to the beegee's'

-kevan

Mar 17 2004 4:25PM

0 0

ECfreeski3

Posts: 12019 - Karma: 126

Karma: 126

Posts: 12019

Crazy Fool

i love woman jokes.
how do you turn a dishwasher into a snowplow?

give the bitch a shovel
----------------------
the skis look like joints cuz they smoke the competition -crystalneedsapark

east coast

Mar 17 2004 4:35PM

0 0

Lateralis

Posts: 1228 - Karma: 332

Karma: 332

Posts: 1228

Insane

why did god invent shopping carts??

to teach women how to walk

'Did you know that average penis size is 6.4inches and that the average vaginal canal is 7.9inches? Therefore.... in this country alone, there is over 17,000 miles of unused virgin pussy' - Poolhall Junkies

Mar 17 2004 4:43PM

0 0

samck89

Posts: 3054 - Karma: 24

Karma: 24

Posts: 3054

Addict

why cant hellen kellar drive?

shes a woman

____________________

high north session 2 biotch

Mar 17 2004 4:46PM

0 0

icecreamsandwich

Posts: 3207 - Karma: 25

Karma: 25

Posts: 3207

Addict

i do like the baby jokes better than the woman ones.

...Now I just can't shut you up, shut you up
So now I have to chop you up, chop you up
And I'll just wait till I get caught...

Icecreamsandwich officially = the coolest girl ever. Thank you. - Stryken

Mar 17 2004 4:59PM

0 0

samck89

Posts: 3054 - Karma: 24

Karma: 24

Posts: 3054

Addict

i think the baby ones are pretty sick, but suit urself

____________________

high north session 2 biotch

Mar 17 2004 5:02PM

0 0

five0

Posts: 11466 - Karma: 36

Karma: 36

Posts: 11466

Crazy Fool

yeah seriously...i love babies...........with a side of mashed potatoes
~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
'What Would Harvey DO?'

SRMC

'led zeppelin didnt write tunes that everyone liked,they left that to the beegee's'

-kevan

Mar 17 2004 5:08PM

0 0

permanente1600

Posts: 1368 - Karma: 10

Karma: 10

Posts: 1368

Insane

what do you call a women with 2 black eyes?

nothing, shes already been told twice

Titanya: But Duff Man, you said if I slept with you I wouldn't have to touch the drink!
Duff Man: Duff Man... says a lot of things! Oh, yeah!

Mar 17 2004 5:14PM

0 0

icecreamsandwich

Posts: 3207 - Karma: 25

Karma: 25

Posts: 3207

Addict

^ heh. i like that one. its a gooder.

...Now I just can't shut you up, shut you up
So now I have to chop you up, chop you up
And I'll just wait till I get caught...

Icecreamsandwich officially = the coolest girl ever. Thank you. - Stryken

Mar 17 2004 5:18PM

0 0

Vtsnowski

Posts: 3537 - Karma: 1,231

Karma: 1,231

Posts: 3537

Addict

what do you call a women with two brain cells?

pregnant.

some christian kid today: 'Get drunk off jesus'

Mar 17 2004 5:18PM

0 0

timmi

Posts: 12874 - Karma: 3,460

Karma: 3,460

Posts: 12874

Crazy Fool

why do women have breasts...so ya got somthin to look at while ur talkin to em-peter griffen

Mar 17 2004 6:26PM

0 0

CameIToeJam

Posts: 1468 - Karma: 11

Karma: 11

Posts: 1468

Insane

why are brides dresses white??

kitchen appliences should match

-Craig

the challenge is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else

Mar 17 2004 6:34PM

0 0

Big_Air_Smite

Posts: 525 - Karma: 10

Karma: 10

Posts: 525

Ridiculous

Jib_This: Why do you put a baby into a blender feet first?
To see the look on its face as it goes in!

You don't have children do you?
********

I Like To Ski

Mar 17 2004 7:02PM

0 0

Bundo

Posts: 2197 - Karma: 49

Karma: 49

Posts: 2197

Addict

what do you call the extra skin on a vagina???

a woman!

ALASKA PRIDE

Mar 17 2004 7:03PM

0 0

sugarrushthrill

Posts: 1167 - Karma: 9

Karma: 9

Posts: 1167

Insane

you do?^ damn... these jokes are actually funny

- LM Productions -

CCRider

I tried sniffing coke once but the ice got stuck in my nose

Mar 17 2004 7:05PM

0 0

sugarrushthrill

Posts: 1167 - Karma: 9

Karma: 9

Posts: 1167

Insane

that was directed to big_air_smite

- LM Productions -

CCRider

I tried sniffing coke once but the ice got stuck in my nose

Mar 17 2004 7:09PM

0 0

scratchbc677

Posts: 304 - Karma: 11

Karma: 11

Posts: 304

Loner

why didn't hellan kellar scream when she got pushed off a cliff?

she was wearing mittens

Mar 17 2004 7:12PM

0 0

skiman523

Posts: 572 - Karma: 10

Karma: 10

Posts: 572

Ridiculous

how do you piss off helen keller

Rearrange the furniture
skiman523

Mar 17 2004 7:19PM

0 0

samck89

Posts: 3054 - Karma: 24

Karma: 24

Posts: 3054

Addict

or leave the plunger in the toilet

____________________

high north session 2 biotch

Mar 17 2004 7:31PM

0 0

willbski9

Posts: 2014 - Karma: 31

Karma: 31

Posts: 2014

Addict

what harder than nailing a puppy to a tree?

nailing it to a puppy

Mar 17 2004 8:03PM

0 0

willbski9

Posts: 2014 - Karma: 31

Karma: 31

Posts: 2014

Addict

correction, what harder than nailing a baby to a tree?

nailing it to a puppy

Mar 17 2004 8:04PM

0 0

strode

Posts: 7549 - Karma: 14

Karma: 14

Posts: 7549

Crazy Fool

mittens fucking hilarious

-Strode

Abba Zabba, you my only friend

Mar 17 2004 8:12PM

0 0

strode

Posts: 7549 - Karma: 14

Karma: 14

Posts: 7549

Crazy Fool

not quite a woman joke, but close enough:

sperm 1: how long til we get to the ovaries?
sperm 2: i dunno, we haven't even passed the tonsils yet

-Strode

Abba Zabba, you my only friend

Mar 17 2004 8:13PM

0 0

permanente1600

Posts: 1368 - Karma: 10

Karma: 10

Posts: 1368

Insane

your bad strode.

Titanya: But Duff Man, you said if I slept with you I wouldn't have to touch the drink!
Duff Man: Duff Man... says a lot of things! Oh, yeah!

Mar 17 2004 8:32PM

0 0

Jib_This

Posts: 8272 - Karma: 9

Karma: 9

Posts: 8272

Crazy Fool

No, I don't have children. It's called birth control, give it a try. The condom with a side of birth control pills works miracles.

TMC WUUUUUUUUUUUUUT
WE KILL YOU
SKIER: How would you describe your style?
PJ Cliche: Total skate influence. Even doh dis is on concrete, an you are face sideways, an it has sweet fuck all to do with ski, skate 'as play a huge role wit my steeze.

Mar 17 2004 8:34PM

0 0

permanente1600

Posts: 1368 - Karma: 10

Karma: 10

Posts: 1368

Insane

heres a couple about the biggest women of them all...

Q:whats 6+46+5?
A:a threesome with Michael Jackson

Q:What does Michael Jackson and a Big Mac have in common?
A:A 45 yr old piece of meat between two ten year old buns.

Titanya: But Duff Man, you said if I slept with you I wouldn't have to touch the drink!
Duff Man: Duff Man... says a lot of things! Oh, yeah!

Mar 17 2004 8:48PM

0 0

r5tommy

Posts: 3608 - Karma: 90

Karma: 90

Posts: 3608

Addict

what has 24 balls but no hair

a michael jackson sleepover

really though, his music is fabulous

Mar 17 2004 10:07PM

0 0

Mike-O

Posts: 14593 - Karma: 1,089

Karma: 1,089

Posts: 14593

Crazy Fool

^ahahahaha sick! :D
******************

Hummingbird style: 70 times in one second.

Does Crichton smoke? Does a bear shit in the woods? -Rex

Mar 18 2004 9:50AM

0 0

KingShit

Posts: 4483 - Karma: 7

Karma: 7

Posts: 4483

No Life

Thats some fucked up shit, but its funny... more please

Motherfuckers...

Mar 18 2004 11:39AM

0 0

CameIToeJam

Posts: 1468 - Karma: 11

Karma: 11

Posts: 1468

Insane

why did helen kellers dog jump off a cliff?

you would too if your name was mmmmffff

-Craig

the challenge is to be yourself in a world that is trying to make you like everyone else

Mar 18 2004 11:43AM

0 0

Sinister

Posts: 1456 - Karma: 10

Karma: 10

Posts: 1456

Insane

The Michael Jackson's ones were hilarious
BMW
Beer,Mushrooms,and Weed

Mar 18 2004 11:44AM

0 0

manwiththemetalleg

Posts: 1636 - Karma: 91

Karma: 91

Posts: 1636

Insane

What is the difference between Michael JAckson and a grocery bag?

One is made of plastic and is dangerous for children to play with.... the other is used to carry groceries.

-------------------
Don't be a toad, follow the ski-way code
-------------------
www.teamksm.co.uk

Mar 18 2004 12:10PM

0 0

kds

Posts: 375 - Karma: 18

Karma: 18

Posts: 375

Loner

how many babies does it take to paint a wall???

depends how hard u throw them..

Mar 18 2004 2:18PM

0 0

Sinister

Posts: 1456 - Karma: 10

Karma: 10

Posts: 1456

Insane

^that was awful,but still made me laugh.But i don't know what i was laughing at,so it sucked.
BMW
Beer,Mushrooms,and Weed

Mar 18 2004 3:11PM

0 0

*Fujative*

Posts: 8554 - Karma: 183

Karma: 183

Posts: 8554

Crazy Fool

tell one to your girlfriend... then see what happens

eat.breathe.sleep.ski

Mar 18 2004 3:14PM

0 0

chris_01

Posts: 632 - Karma: 10

Karma: 10

Posts: 632

Ridiculous

whats micheal jackson's favorite thing about twenty eight year olds?

there are 20 of them

_____________________________________________________
powder gets me pisted off

Mar 18 2004 3:44PM

0 0

permanente1600

Posts: 1368 - Karma: 10

Karma: 10

Posts: 1368

Insane

AAAAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!

Titanya: But Duff Man, you said if I slept with you I wouldn't have to touch the drink!
Duff Man: Duff Man... says a lot of things! Oh, yeah!

Mar 18 2004 3:47PM

0 0