PLEASE HELP ME

please help.....
you see ever since i was a boy i have seen older kids frolicking amidst the ocean breezes, laughing and gigling , enjoying themselves, as their armpit hair tosseleed and danced a flowing array of movements like a running tributary down a thawing mountain side glacier ever so delicately upon their body, taunting me inticising me with the sheer joy of their, hair up there. I knew that what made them able to enjoy life the way they did, to make them laugh the way they do, was what lied beneath it all, their armpit hair. I learned that the amount of joy a man can have in his life is only measurable to the insurmountable amount of twingling armpit hair that he posses. I waited for puberty and drank coffee , i even planted miracle grow to spark a bit of life on my desolate fields of life that i called armpits. All my friends around my grew and embelished their flowing and griowing armpits as they styled them and pampered them giving eacch individual hair a name as it grew in. I watched as an inoccent bistander on the street corner of adolescenc and hair street, with vanquish and disdain. My armpits remained bald and bland, my friends learned to chop wood and grill like the men they were becoming, i learned to swim with a shirt on. My life went on fora while as i grew a customed to my hairlessness, i would watch shows like kim possible , and instead of enjoying the quirky humor and quick one liners presented ever so comically by the show, a fine one at that, instead i would understand and feel for the naked mole rat who will never know the joy of wiry, grity, lint catching pits. My life became like my pits, meaningless. Now even when i hear of brad pitt i just cringe and subside, secumbing to my own teen angst by blasting jonas brothers only feeding the beast of the system. I am sure they know the struggle of which i speak. Until recently my eyes beheled the strangest of sights, i had grown a thicket of pubes on the back oif my knee OVER NIGHT. My knee pits had grown a forest of black shrubbery and an amatuer soul/disco singer revivalist collector's aray of 1970's singers wigs. Perhaps mcjagger was right you cant always get what you want but if you try some time you just might find hair behind your knees. I now administer deoderant daily to my burt reynolds like knees. I know i should be happy with what god gave me but i am different i suffer from hair attachment intraverted reception disorder or h.a.i.r. i just want to have lavish sexy summer ready pits that all the women crave and men want to be around instead i got bearded kneepits.

Please help me and others like me by voting for mason for best eyes of 2010, it is only 10 cents a month, what are you waiting for? Call today 748 9576 and hear the stories of brave, young, hairless, hairy, misplacedly hairy individuals like me and so many more today call 748 9576 you'll be saying very hairy isn't scary today

or by submitting a meaningful rap of your choice you can support mason and the "we have hair in unusual places foundation of america"

yo i got hair over there but not up there
i shampoo that shit with my boy gare bare
it drags to the flow from my knee pits too
i got stopped a cop he said your hair is on my shoe

when i go to the coffeshop or lotties i order pilates
just so i can work up a little sweat
to cover up for my disease i say i am a vietnam vet

i make peoples days happy turning frowns around
when i go into a barber shop i sit up side down
my hair is so thick and itchy yes you ask me if it can win best dressed

the ladies they love the y play with it too
i just say easy ladies their is only enough hair for two
i rock different hair doooos for all my bros
when i listen to rap i put it in corn rows who knows

yah i am the hairy manilow of displace hair
i got hair on the back of my knee
you other mutha uckas i am ggunna french braid you to sleep
i need some nair