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October, 2024

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Cock-Block stories...

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Jamestown
Posts: 4002 - Karma: 51
Let's hear em.

(And girls, you can talk about Twat-Swat stories if you wish.)
Sep 19 2009 2:42AM
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slevin_kelevra
Posts: 416 - Karma: 13
bump
Oct 3 2009 11:26AM
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hartig
Posts: 8192 - Karma: 10
so i was about to bone my girlfriend out at the lake, but suddenly she yelled. i looked up and there was big foot.
then i went back to bone her, but the mosquitoes were going crazy and she said there was no way.

completely original content
Oct 3 2009 11:29AM
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the_moderaper
Posts: 2465 - Karma: 218
my friend used to try to make out with this chick all the time at our mtn so when they went on the triple chair together, id slip right in between them :)
Oct 3 2009 11:38AM
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TechnoPotamus
Posts: 11626 - Karma: 3,522
haha i love that clip


Oct 3 2009 11:38AM
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chacho
Posts: 183 - Karma: 33
cock blocking should be illegal
Oct 3 2009 11:45AM
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spidey
Posts: 347 - Karma: 22
i threw a party at my cabin and me and this chick were gettin down and dirty. as she was taking her pants off, i realized there was no lock on the door, so  dragged the entire bunkbed in front of it as to prevent intruders. 5 minutes later this jagermeistered up dumbass plows into the room and passes out. cock blocked.
Oct 3 2009 12:44PM
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Merrrick
Posts: 529 - Karma: 717
i was getting amazing head once and an asian kid walked in the the room and was like. "what are you guys doing in here?" the girl jumped up and ran out of the room.
Oct 3 2009 12:47PM
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kingcomet32
Posts: 638 - Karma: 13
my threads
Oct 3 2009 1:02PM
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r0dubs
Posts: 1764 - Karma: 19
this chick was sitting on a dudes lap, and i walked over and yelled HEY HOWS THAT GONORRHEA
she jumped up and said IS HE SERIOUS  
Oct 3 2009 1:09PM
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steveyp
Posts: 166 - Karma: 12
My girlfriend hit me on the cock with a block of wood.

A literal cock-block
Oct 3 2009 1:27PM
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jibbinc.
Posts: 3355 - Karma: 2,497
Last night, i had the chance to hook up with this chick, but insted i vomited for two hours.
Oct 3 2009 1:30PM
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Morgen.
Posts: 1199 - Karma: 61

instead*

hahaha i loled, that's so original

Oct 3 2009 1:42PM
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thedutchmayn
Posts: 1653 - Karma: 45
was going upstairs and a mob of cockblockers swarmed us on the steps
Oct 3 2009 2:04PM
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Barefootin_Fiend
Posts: 7618 - Karma: 4,727
sometimes I get too drunk and cock block myself.
Oct 3 2009 2:05PM
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Jamestown
Posts: 4002 - Karma: 51
Girls, no twat-swat stories?
I was excited to hear the other side of the convo!

Well, one time I was pretty wasted, walking a girl into a bedroom, but then my friend confused me and told me to get some water, and he took her into the bedroom. Cock blocked.
Oct 3 2009 2:11PM
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Campeador
Posts: 7516 - Karma: -1,227
um no, thats called just straight up getting jacked
Oct 3 2009 2:12PM
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afrocentric
Posts: 707 - Karma: 29

thats not cock blocking... thats owning.

Oct 3 2009 2:19PM
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cclan
Posts: 742 - Karma: 19
in whistler, so was going good with this 30 some odd year old floosie, things wer going good, then my friend comes up and since he thinks chicks dig foreign people, he started talking with this retarded accent, weirded out the floosies completetly.

i hate my friends.
Oct 3 2009 2:31PM
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b-kul
Posts: 4350 - Karma: 1,111
lol.
Oct 3 2009 3:37PM
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Crack.
Posts: 6020 - Karma: 84
owned.
Oct 3 2009 3:41PM
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Armanzoid
Posts: 2453 - Karma: 26
My dad cock-blocked me royally once:

I was at my dads bar with this one girl I was sort of dating at the time. Mind you, horrible place to take a date, the people at this bar such ball busters. Especially on me cause I was the owners son, but the king of ball busting is my dad. I introduce her to my father and the convo goes like this.

Dad: "Very nice to meet you, I am glad my son met a pretty girl."
Her: "That's very sweet of you."

At this point I am standing right next to her and my father turns to me and says:

Dad: "Hey son, listen, she seems like a nice girl and all, but her tits are too small."

Then he turns around and walks away leaving behind the bombshell he just dropped. I just told her that I don't know what I can say to her, she kinda just left after that.

Oct 3 2009 3:49PM
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Morgen.
Posts: 1199 - Karma: 61

i have one.

i was really drunk one night and had wanted to hook up with this guy id been talking to lately. he never really told me he had a girlfriend till we got to his house after the party and she was standing out front tapping her foot. i went home with a black eye and a ripped shirt.

i woke up and had to have someone tell me what happened,

bad night

Oct 3 2009 4:03PM
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Jamestown
Posts: 4002 - Karma: 51
+k for a twat swat
Oct 3 2009 4:05PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
I cock blocked myself by getting drunk on my 19th and passing out before this really hot girl came by that wanted to sleep with me.  FFFFUUUUCCCCKKKK
Oct 3 2009 4:29PM
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ABROWN619
Posts: 22 - Karma: 40

i cock blocked myself so bad...

this one time i was gettin head by this girl that i just recently met and right before the big finale i let out a little toot... lets just say my balls skipped the blue stage and went right to black

Oct 3 2009 4:41PM
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RJ_Res
Posts: 628 - Karma: 292
My threads
Oct 3 2009 4:53PM
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infedel_one
Posts: 5140 - Karma: 444
i was trashed in this chicks bedd and i was getting some damn fine head and when she asked me if i had a condom i couldnt remember and i said no. I forgot that there was a condom in my wallet on the floor...but that woulda been wayyyy to far for me at that time cause it was a lofted bed....soooo pretty much i cockblocked myself and girls should always be on B.C.
Oct 3 2009 5:00PM
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Mavrck
Posts: 2765 - Karma: 27
spittin some dirty game to this girl at a party she was diggin for sure..bout to pull her away for the move in, and her best friend starts puking her brains out...so she spent the rest of the night in the bathroom with her friend and I spent the rest of the night pissed off
Oct 3 2009 5:12PM
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I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
May i present you: "The Ultimate Cock-Block!"

Click for larger image
Oct 3 2009 5:14PM
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Mr.Panda
Posts: 17711 - Karma: 564
Click for larger image

Click for larger image

These are up there too sir.
Oct 3 2009 5:18PM
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kris.....
Posts: 759 - Karma: 43
my number one cock block is Jack Daniels or Johny Walker
Oct 3 2009 5:22PM
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SteezyOhio
Posts: 6044 - Karma: 60
Click for larger image

this man

and this- Age of Consent (ya know for the mass majority of NS users)
Click for larger image

if that fails
http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/c/c1/Age_of_Consent_updated_for_Canada.png
Oct 3 2009 5:24PM
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Balto
Posts: 25985 - Karma: 4,404
sister walks in on me and a girl, destroyed the mood :/
Oct 3 2009 5:25PM
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J.Braun
Posts: 585 - Karma: 20
i was gettin dirty with this one girl at a party, we decided to go to her dorm, as soon as we walk out the front the 5-0 was there
cock blocked by the police and a drinking ticket, fuck.
Oct 3 2009 5:26PM
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garrett.
Posts: 9304 - Karma: 3,670
oh god i love mr walker, especially when he's black.
Oct 3 2009 5:28PM
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I_Am_Mod
Posts: 13214 - Karma: 3,753
When i just got to know my girlfriend, she was staying over for the first time, so it was an excellent moment for me to get intimate, just when i was sucking her tits, someone rings my doorbell, i open it and there is my best friend.
Since he goes to college in another town but came over for a party and his friend, where he had agreed to sleep had picked up a chick and didn't open the door for him, he asked me if he could stay with me and the good friend i am, i let him stay.
There goes my night i tought! :(
My room where i stay at college is basically one long rectangle, i have a double bed, where i sleep and next to that is an open spot, where i normally put the mattress when someone stays over (if its a guy)
so long story shorts, we kill the lights, my friend lies next to me on the floor and my girlfriend lies in bed with me.
If we'd bang now, my friend would definately hear it and that'd be really awkward...
so i just lie there, silently cursing my friend for cockblocking me like this when i feel a hand going down my crotch. Yes! NO! he'll hear, my girlfriend assures me she'll be silent. I was so turned up i just let her do her thing.
Screw my friend and screw awkwardness ! i'm getting some today!

then when she's giving me head, under the sheets, she makes some faint smacking noises with her lips and my friend, who lies less then an armlength away asks me if i have a dry mouth and need some water !?
In the calmest voice i have i scraped my voice a bit and asured him i'm ok and told him to go back to sleep.
My girlfriend finished the job and we all lived happily ever after!

sparknotes:
I'm about to get laid
friend storms in, has no place to stay, sleeps next to me n my girl on a mattress
girlfriend silently gives me head under the sheets
she makes silent smacking noises,
my friend hears smacking and asks if i need a drink.
i assure him i'm ok and tell him to go back to sleep
Gf finishes me off
My gf saved the night for me and my friend never knew...

Oct 3 2009 5:44PM
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AdolfShitler
Posts: 1618 - Karma: 32
i was plating soccer in gym and a guy got hit in the dick with teh ball. Cock Block
Oct 3 2009 6:01PM
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Yeezus
Posts: 3350 - Karma: 469
at a party, this kid was hookin up wit a chick in this other room. had her ontop takin her clothes off, and then, a kid knocks on the door and yells "is she tight?".
Oct 3 2009 6:28PM
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ManOnTheMoon
Posts: 515 - Karma: 17
i was having a party and i was hammered along with this chick i brought up to my room, one of my buddies was passed out in my bed so i like yelled at him and tried to get him out but he wasnt even responding so in the state i was i was just like fuck it if he cant here me he wont hear us. ends up making out with her while i finger her then this guys girlfriends friend comes in and yells at him making a huge scene and the chick gets mad embarrassed and runs out.
Oct 3 2009 7:38PM
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MN_Nice
Posts: 3824 - Karma: 56
me and my girlfriend were at a party one time and we go to an empty room. We were both a little tipsy but hey its always fun. Anyways, we're making out, feelin up and all that good stuff. Then all of a sudden some random ass busts through the door, hammered out of his fucking mind and says "WHERES A TOIL-" and mid-sentence Throws up!! SOOOO much puke too!! Cock Block of the year.
Oct 3 2009 7:44PM
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snowking249
Posts: 1452 - Karma: 34

hahaha, that is literally the funniest ass thing i have ever heard!!!!!! that just made my year

Oct 3 2009 8:56PM
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Valind
Posts: 4358 - Karma: 17
lol i do that all too often.
Oct 3 2009 11:43PM
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Dr.Dickless
Posts: 2620 - Karma: 1,392

my friend walks up to this guy and his girlfriend, they'd been going out for like 4 hours, and just yells. "SO HAVE YOU FUCKED HER YET?"

don't know if it counts but it was hilarious

Oct 4 2009 2:06AM
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Totes_Magotes
Posts: 2259 - Karma: 870

apparently (and i'm not 100% positive), but my brother's friend got pulled over while recieving road head...  ouch

Oct 4 2009 2:08AM
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factory81
Posts: 3967 - Karma: 63
avatar rules. been there done that with the substance abuse and cock blocking myself.

Sometimes hookers and blow just doesn't impress your date.
Oct 4 2009 2:08AM
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BieberHole69
Posts: 1374 - Karma: 2,718
I am bumping this thread out of anger and frustration. I'll try to make this story short.

My two friends and I go out to bars in Seattle with the intention of me being the designated driver. We bar hop until about 1:30 and all night my friends insist that we go to this crazy dance club that's open til 5am. They basically hype it up to be amazing and just all around nutty so I agree to go.

We each drink a couple beers in my car, since they don't serve alcohol after 2, and we go into the club. Now this place is odd. I have never been anywhere like it in my life. I swear to god it was just like the club in Blade. The architecture, the people, the music, this place was straight out of a movie.

We head to the dance floor, then back to the bar for Red Bulls to keep us going for the night, or morning I should say. We all spot this gorgeous girl all alone and occasionally talking to randos. Hands down the best looking girl in the club. Anyway, we make note of her and head to the dance floor again.

The DJ bumps techno/electro and I figure that since we're out at this crazy place, yet I'm fairly sober, that I should make the most of it and dance like a maniac. We all spot said gorgeous girl on the floor dancing with her gay friend and I make a point of it to stay in the middle of the floor and just groove (that sounds kinda gay but whatever).

Low and behold, she ultimately makes her way over to me and asks me to dance. I say yes of course so I just zone in, have a good time, and grind on this girl. She smells good. Her body feels fantastic. She was just overall PRIME. I kid you not, she was everything I just hyped her up to be. However, my friends who were dancing suddenly tighten their buttholes and slowly their dancing comes to a stop. They eventually glue themselves to the wall and occasionally take glances at me and this girl dancing, never once going back onto the dance floor.

I'm with her for about 15 minutes and I notice my friend motioning to go. Are you fucking kidding me? You mother fuckers talked me into going to this whacky-ass joint in the first place and keep in mind that I am your designated driver who has had the least amount to drink. Being the nice and courteous guy that I am, when the music finally slows I tell her that my friends appear to be getting bored. She says thanks for dancing with her and then my two friends and I bounce. My dumbass didn't even ask for her number or anything, let alone a name.

I have never experienced such a cock block in my life. Maybe I'll just write up a CraigsList missed connection. And yes, I know that I blew it in the end but my friends could've at least been bros and entertained themselves.

/EndRant
Dec 18 2011 8:42AM
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Raz.
Posts: 7456 - Karma: 1,611
sooooo there was this guy, and he was a stud. like a STUD stud. we kept making eye contact for about 2 hours and doing this like smile nervous look away thing. finally he came over to me, and we started talking a bid. he seriously one of the most attractive men I have ever seen, and he was really into me. the whole time we were talking his phone kept going off but he kept ignoring it, until finally he just answered and was like "WHAT?". the look on his face changed immediately, and when he hung up he said that he was sorry, but he really had to go. the worst part is is that I forgot to get his number.
Dec 18 2011 9:13AM
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FM3
Posts: 207 - Karma: 19
I was at a house party back in high school and this kid's mom kicked everyone out at like 2. So everyone's trashed, and the best thing we all came up with was sleep in our cars for a little (long driveway out in the sticks). These two girls got a ride from someone who had already left so in my drunken stupor I invited them to come chill in the truck with me and my girlfriend. Oops. I was in the backseat with these two girls (Tundra Crewmax - back seat is gigantic) and my girlfriend was in the front passengers seat. She kept bitching at me and telling me how she just wanted to go to bed, but I couldn't understand why she was mad at me. After a few hours I finally felt good enough to drive so I kicked the two girls out of the truck and drove back to my girlfriends house where we spent the night.

I'm not sure if the two chicks cockblocked me from my girlfriend, if my girlfriend cockblocked me from them, or if I just totally fucked myself. Oh, and were still dating.
Dec 18 2011 11:41AM
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PhaedeD
Posts: 11498 - Karma: 327
my boy wanted to hook up with this chick that I had hooked up with before, he was talking to her all night thought he had some game, went into a room in condo to pass out, her and him were still out on the couch talking, i texted her "yo, you really dont want that when you could get this hahaha" 2 minutes later she walks in and locks the door.


Dec 18 2011 11:52AM
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emilyiscool
Posts: 1628 - Karma: 60
last night i was with someone and every time we got anywhere we heard my other friend throw up, twas gross :(
Dec 18 2011 11:57AM
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