I'm a gun noob

1a) find a friend who shoots and ask to go shoot with them and get them to teach you as much as they can

or

1b) go to a range and rent a gun to shoot, and take a class of some kind on basics, most organized ranges offer these for cheap

2) do some research, decide where youd like to start for real, and buy something. then shoot it all the time and learn everything you can about it, then go from there

3) repeat, find a couple hobbies, go hunting with some people who know what theyre doing...that's a really good way to learn a lot really fast

there's something out there for everyone...i used to not really understand why my gf needed so many damn shoes, then i got into collecting guns...every time i buy one, i pretty much start thinking about my next purchase immediately...it's never-ending, just like buying ski gear

Yep well said.  Maybe also grab a subscription to Guns and Ammo or a similer magazine.  That's mostly just for fun, but you'll learn from it too.  Most gun magazines are pretty cheap.