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Mormons were made to punish us.

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PacificRimJob
Posts: 24725 - Karma: 29,944

No mormon hate here... dont trip.

just pointing out something that keeps coming to my attention over and over and NS must be addressed on the notion - Mormon chicks are almost always suuch smokin hot babes.

and then at the same time, sooo unavailable - especially to agnostics like me.

Does anyone else share this headscratcher? especially those in utah/idaho? Because california mormons tend to be hot.

Aug 21 2009 5:22AM
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r0dubs
Posts: 1764 - Karma: 19
YOU HAVE NO IDEA
LAST YEAR i was on spring break, and for some reason this mormon girl starts talking to me and the guy i was on the trip on.  she seems to be suuper into me.  but she wasn't "available" at the time.  because of her faith.  i was PISSED
Aug 26 2009 1:11PM
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Lax_Bro40
Posts: 5166 - Karma: 18
what high school is that?
Aug 26 2009 1:32PM
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seemeski
Posts: 4210 - Karma: 124
Murray High. I didn't dub it that some kid on the chair lift said that.
Aug 26 2009 1:52PM
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factory81
Posts: 3967 - Karma: 63
My last girlfriend was a mormon. She was smokin hot, smoked like the best of us, and drank like the rest of us.


Good times.....

NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO SHE JUST GOT MARRIED RECENTLY TOO.

Aug 26 2009 2:04PM
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Armanzoid
Posts: 2453 - Karma: 26
It's all mind games methinks. I say you plant small seeds of sexual debaucary. Most girls who are brought up all nice and wholesome are nasty as fuck in their minds. Don't be overt about it, just slowly talk a little about sex. No one, especially young, is able to fend off the intense desire and need for sex when there are constant reminders about it. Eventually her mind will delve so deep in sexual depravity, that will just have to fuck you. Problem solved.
Aug 26 2009 2:05PM
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The_Oakley_Kid
Posts: 3128 - Karma: 179
sean, i definitely feel your pain. I was in slc during the mormon church convention thing that they do every year and i couldnt understand why there were so many fine women walking thru the streets and in my hotel, and ALL of them were in these sexy summer dresses and shit showing off skin. Meet a big group of them at the hotel restaurant and got to know a few of them, invited them out to party that night... biggest let down ever... "no we can't, were mormon, we have church tmrw morning and our religion doesnt allow alcohol use." COCK BLOCKED BY GOD
Aug 26 2009 2:17PM
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andrewmeehan
Posts: 765 - Karma: 364
i live here in utah and all of the mormon girls that i have met are super horny. always take them out on the boat at night and have a good time. like someone said before the girls who stay "true" to the church are ugly as shit, but the girls who just have mormon families are hot hot hot.

YES IM FROM UTAH, NO, IM NOT MORMON.
Aug 26 2009 9:50PM
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GnarBurger
Posts: 3215 - Karma: 43
but.......I like cookies
Aug 26 2009 10:29PM
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MitchPee
Posts: 8871 - Karma: 1,509
Hahahaha I used the cockblocked by a dead man (Joseph Smith) line many times before. I live in SLC and the mormons are plentiful here, but at the U they are usually hot, in sororities and slutttttttttttty. True story.
Aug 26 2009 10:41PM
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little_boo
Posts: 1303 - Karma: 231
hahaha, fair enough.
but sorry, homie...

they're in it for the marriage and kiddos
Aug 26 2009 11:50PM
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saucybiscuits
Posts: 2554 - Karma: 173
my ski team used to go to park city in the summer to train at the UOP there, and we were staying at this house right across the street from these two Mormon girls and they were super hot. like, fuck they were hot............ anyway, i was a little kid and the older guys thought it would be fun to have me run across the street to give them a note. i dont know what it said, but i was forming some pretty entertaining ideas in my head. so i walked up their front step, and all the other guys were watching from the windows. i rang the doorbell and after about 15 seconds they both came and answered the door. i just stood there, astonished. they were sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hot. did i mention they were twins? so i gave them the note, actually, they more took it from my limp and sweaty hand as i stammered something that sounded like "boobs" in russian. they read the note and then told me to wait there. i just sort of drooled a bit. i waited for about 2 minutes when they came back with a note.they sealed it and gave it to me to take back to the other guys. but before i left, they both kissed my cheek. i almost creamed my jeans and fell down the steps. they closed the door and i finally managed to drag my head out of the clouds and staggered back to our house. i gave the note to the other guys and then just went to lay down. i listened to them carefully in the other room. they opened the note, i could almost hear one kid reading it and then i just heard everybody just saying "fuck! goddamnit! sonofabitch!" i dont know what the note said, but i think of that day, everyday, as the day i became a man.
Aug 27 2009 12:03AM
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smuggs
Posts: 6561 - Karma: 1,375
CHICKS BAKNG IS WAY HOT!

Aug 27 2009 2:21AM
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PopsicleStand
Posts: 6890 - Karma: 147
i was soooo expecting....

and "so youre moving in with your auntie and uncle in bel-air"
Aug 27 2009 12:45PM
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kool.aid.man
Posts: 1416 - Karma: 526
one word.

FLOATING.
Aug 27 2009 12:57PM
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[D-Lite]
Posts: 120 - Karma: 32
soaking.
Aug 27 2009 1:15PM
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Big5hifty
Posts: 3243 - Karma: 1,253
hahahahaha
Aug 27 2009 1:23PM
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AgentOrange11
Posts: 470 - Karma: 15
hahahaha hat is the greatest quote i have ever seen. great first post
Aug 27 2009 1:35PM
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sconniestyle
Posts: 3945 - Karma: 26

Click for larger image

Aug 27 2009 2:42PM
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BigZero
Posts: 1120 - Karma: 103
a woman who can bake cookies is sexy as fuck
Aug 27 2009 2:49PM
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PacificRimJob
Posts: 24725 - Karma: 29,944

Hahaha seriously Scott! WTF right?

You're thinking 'oh man this is going to be AWESOME.. so many totally hot babes in sexy sun dresses gettin hammered with me' and then you find out none of them drink, all of them are retarded square, and worst of all, they have to get up the next day at 430 for 14 hours of church.

*sigh* In many ways I feel pity upon them. Sooo missin out on some crazy ridiculous rebelious pagan ritual fun...

Aug 27 2009 3:44PM
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qbehr
Posts: 1044 - Karma: 686
i totally agree with you, mormon babes are smokin hot, but their whole delio on not dating is weird so my advice is find a dime that wants to "get maried" and play it out but ya their religion cockblocked you
Aug 27 2009 3:49PM
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PacificRimJob
Posts: 24725 - Karma: 29,944

Yeah... I now understand the whole reason behind the multiple multiple wives mormons used to have... Why NOT have like 12 hot babe wives?

I think the Mormon Compounds were the first Playboy mansions of sorts - only without the totally sweet pools, hot lingerie, fake boobs, and flowing alcohol...

I totally get why guys become mormon now. 

Aug 27 2009 3:53PM
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Avifarer
Posts: 5926 - Karma: 598
Holy shit my mormon friend is moving to utah (ironic?) and so he had a little going away party.
2 of the girls were drop dead gorgeous. Got damn. I will post a pic when i can find one
Aug 27 2009 3:55PM
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little_boo
Posts: 1303 - Karma: 231
i can bake cookies.
and i'm nowhere near a momo.
find yourself a woman who can bake cookies and go out on sundays...
Aug 27 2009 6:46PM
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PacificRimJob
Posts: 24725 - Karma: 29,944

Bake me cookies plz.

Aug 28 2009 3:27AM
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PacificRimJob
Posts: 24725 - Karma: 29,944
Haha. My post in another thread totally reminded me about this... and why I posted it.

Whatever though. Not all Mormons are total prudes, or cant 'have fun.'

there are some who are off their rocker though... just like any religion (ahem... Crazy Jews with their gnarly sideburns/beards/hating on bacon, crazy Catholics with their drunken traditions and weird hats, crazy evangelicals with their tongue gibberish and bible throwing, and crazy Muslims with their robes/headwear/more bacon hate)


Apr 1 2010 5:42PM
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AngryFromBend
Posts: 779 - Karma: 9
up there with the worst religions ever... scientists even proved that these people were not even decendents of the holy land (aka the middle east), but rather are decendents of ancient China, which pretty much destroys a lot of their beliefs... but they keep on truckin. the mormon religion is more of a widespread cult than it is anything else.
Apr 1 2010 6:02PM
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PacificRimJob
Posts: 24725 - Karma: 29,944
Oh shut up... most christians believe that the world was created in 7 days... the jews believe god talked to moses as a bush on fire, and the scientologists believe we have dead spirits of aliens within our bodies and we need to electrocute them out of us...

not to mention, the hardcore athiests are just as crazy about their views...

dont go hating on mormons just because they seem weird to you... look at the other religions and realize how weird they are as well...
Apr 1 2010 6:08PM
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Tortao
Posts: 1292 - Karma: 10
truth. if you look at any religion in depth it kinda is crazy
Apr 1 2010 6:17PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 37397 - Karma: 120,223
Some mormon girls who are mad hot are sluts. I heard the BYU cheer team is a bunch of mormons that get freaky
Apr 1 2010 6:23PM
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PacificRimJob
Posts: 24725 - Karma: 29,944
Yeah... really people need to stop getting so gnarly about all that shit, and start using it for what I believe its real, useful purpose is - to help those around you.

Religious people who let their beliefs lead them to hate others, and such, really are not true followers of what they stand for... the good that comes out of religion is the communities they create and the willingness to help those around you that they instill...

unfortunately... the bad things that get brought along is this worldwide jihad from all ends of the theological spectrum, fighting about who has the most powerful and diabolical imaginary friend...

So to all those of you who are religious - be a good person, and dont let your beliefs lead you to hating other peoples ideas about the world MMKAY?
Apr 1 2010 6:35PM
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prontocuts.com
Posts: 5244 - Karma: 42
my sister in law is from utah, her best friend who is mormon is SMOKING, like 11/10.

its a shame shes mormon
Apr 1 2010 6:40PM
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GayWolf420
Posts: 37397 - Karma: 120,223
lure her into your bedroom by telling her that you want to hop on the mormon train. i think you get the picture what happens next...
Apr 1 2010 6:52PM
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prontocuts.com
Posts: 5244 - Karma: 42
I make her some custom die cuts for cheap?
Apr 1 2010 6:52PM
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vailsux.com
Posts: 1769 - Karma: 440
the good thing about mormon chicks is you KNOW she has a hot sister, probably two or three. growing up i had to have at least 3 milf's in my neighborhood, they were always working in the garden bending over and shit; riding bikes was daily routine. shit just go to a student singles ward, in provo its like 4 girls to one guy(dead fucking serious), talk about caged heat. plus if you have a beard they cant keep their eyes off you, a mustache is gold.

Myth: mormon girls dont date

Fact: mormon girls are pressured to date as much as possible as soon as they turn sixteen. 16-18=group dates. 18-21=find a husband.

its easy as hell


Apr 1 2010 9:48PM
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PacificRimJob
Posts: 24725 - Karma: 29,944
if youre mormon =]
Apr 1 2010 9:52PM
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vailsux.com
Posts: 1769 - Karma: 440
hahaha, lots of truth to this statement.

not me, but this proves your point.
Click for larger image

Apr 1 2010 10:04PM
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.catierob
Posts: 670 - Karma: 15

used this once to deny a guy once

bitch move?

Apr 1 2010 11:02PM
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Utard
Posts: 2132 - Karma: 305
Ha ha i was waiting for someone to mention that
Apr 1 2010 11:22PM
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PattyFow
Posts: 540 - Karma: 51
did he ever talk to you again? most of the time as soon as us males figure out (or think in your situation) a girl is mormon, she is shut off from our thoughts. haha cruel yes, but truthful.
Apr 1 2010 11:31PM
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pomme-de-terre
Posts: 3915 - Karma: 703
this girl at my highschool is mormon and hott as all fucking hell. shes a pretty big slut though, i dont know if shes ever had sex, but shes done just about everything else with like half the states male population.
Apr 1 2010 11:34PM
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