Looking for someone you can chat with. Hang on.
You're now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!
A word of advice: "asl" is boring. Please find something more interesting to talk about!
Stranger: how are you little boy
Stranger: how old are you champ?
You: why are you so happy mister?
Stranger: because I'm totally masturbating!
Stranger: yeah you want to see pics?
Stranger: so you show me some too
You: I'm Chris Hansen from Dateline
You: why don't you take a seat over ther
You: just take a seat sir
Stranger: YAY! I love that show!
Stranger: ...I thought he was 18
You: it clearly says he was 4
You: please just have a seat
Stranger: ...it sounded like 18 to me...
Stranger: he didn't look 4...
Stranger: *takes seat, looking around nervously*
Stranger: please, I didn't mean to!
You: might sound more like 18
Stranger: I've never done this before
Stranger: oh well that sounds delicious
Stranger: and some orange juic
Stranger: I can't bake :(
You: SO you say that boy was 4?
You: MARTHA STEWART WILL TELL YOU
Stranger: lol eh I'm not domestic
Stranger: martha is hoootttttt
Stranger: now she is definately over 18 YUM
Stranger: *sits down, covering hardon with hat*
You: why is your hat convenitently place right over your crotchal region
Stranger: it likes to be there?
You: now about those cookies
Stranger: ...I can buy some
You: and then give them to me
You: might sound more like18
Stranger: ...*unzips zipper and pulls out cookies*
You: *Quickly om noms cookies*
Stranger: * leaves zipper unzipped*...I have something else in here for you
You: these taste a little funny
Stranger: theres more in here...if you get them out with your teeth
You: you did procure me cookies seemingly out of nowhere
You: what is this in my mouth?
You: *shudder shudder shudder*
Stranger: oh but they came out of y pants ;) kept warm...with my penis
You: I am over the age of 18
You: and you did give me cookies
You: I hope your day is going nicely
You: that cookie almost hit the spot
Stranger: :( I'm sorry...but I lied
You: full of a cookie nonetheless
Stranger: I don't have a penis!
Stranger: I know! here I was getting your young hopes up!
You: You have to warn us first
Stranger: I'm not what you think I am!
You: GO BACK TO CRYING BECAUSE YOUR MOM GROUNDED YOU
Stranger: but when people cry everyone is emo!
You: NOW SIT THE FUCK BACK DOWN
You: You with your vagina?
Stranger: *sits down with vagina*
You: I was about to have you tazed
Stranger: I mean NOOOOOOO!
You: TAZE HIM/HER IMMEDIATLY
Stranger: I'm a heeeeeeeeeerrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
Stranger: and stop tazing me
Stranger: I will shank you
Stranger: I WILL SHANK YOU!
You: THEN SIT THE FUCK DOWN
Stranger: do you fucking hear me?!
Stranger: I will shank you with this here spoon!
Stranger: They're all dead
Stranger: I sodomized them!
Stranger: *falls into a seizure*
Stranger: ....now this is just getting overly sexual!
Stranger: your supposed to be chris hanson!
Stranger: america trusted you!
Stranger: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!
Stranger: .....do you have hotpockets?
Stranger: then I guess I won't be joining the darkside
You: i could go out and buy some
You: there's a 7 11 around the galaxy
Stranger: oh...well then I guess we can arrange something...
Stranger: grab me a slurpee too
Stranger: I'll wait here and fondle my lightsaber
Stranger: suprise me dammit!
You: you're gonna do what?
You: that's what i thought
You: now wait here and be good while I get the hot pockets and a slurpee
You: *Leaves in a spaceship*
Stranger: *looks around, making sure it's clear* Now I can get to business *fondles lightsaber*
Stranger: Ohhhh yeeeaaaahhh
You: Luuke *CCHHHH* *CHHH* I'm HOoO-WHAT THE FUCK?
Stranger: *stops in mid fondle, eyes wide*
Stranger: ........Ummm its not what it looks like!
You: WHAT *CCHHH* WERE YOU JUST *CCHHHH* DOING?????
Stranger: I was making a toy train!
You: why are you making happy thing?
Stranger: *wipes sweat off brow*
You: you're on the dark side now
Stranger: it was an evil toy train?
You: you should be making evil things
Stranger: yeah it blows things up...like anal canals
You: I got you hot pockets
You: and a hulk green slurpee
You: blows what kinda things up?
Stranger: because they deserve it...
You: now why would it do that?
You: were they good anal canals?
Stranger: because it's made to fit in the anus
You: why is a train made to fit in an anus?
You: I sense a deep pervertedness inside you
Stranger: because people who are good deserve a train in the anus
Stranger: and they won't even suspect it
You: I've never heard of that tactic
Stranger: because all good guys like trains in their anus
You: ARE YOU DOING IT????
Stranger: because they won't suspect that the train will explode in their anal canals!
You: But if they like it ?
Stranger: we need to get on their good side before defeating them!
Stranger: do you like having explosive trains in your ass?!
Stranger: because I don't!
Stranger: noone understands meeeeeeeeeeeeeeee
You: I WILL *CCHHHH* NOT *CCCHHH* HAVE AN EMO SON
Stranger: *puts hair over eyes* don't look at meeeeee
You: *goes into coughing fit*
You: SEE WHAT YOU'VE DONE
Stranger: I'm going to take pics of myself for myspace! and the write about how I hate you!
You: YOU GIVEN ME AN ATHSMA ATTACK
You: How did my own son become emo?
You: What did I do wrong?
Stranger: *gay run into room* I hate yoooouuuu...and you got me the wrong hotpockets! I wanted the pizza ones! * slams door*
Stranger: *opens door* You don't understand meeeee* slams door again*
You: I have a surprise for youuuu
Stranger: *sniffles and opens door slowly*
You: WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING BEING EMO???
Stranger: Noooooooo*cough cough* noo agh gah
You: I DON'T CARE IF YOU'RE GAY OR STRAIGHT OR LESBIAN!
You: *Release force choke*
Stranger: its what I aaaammmmm
Stranger: I was born to be emo!
You: NO SON OF MINE WILL BE EMO
You: Is it because you kissed your sister?
Stranger: * runs into room* I'm going to listen to fall out boy and twitter about how I hate you! * slams door*
Stranger: I kissed chewbaca
Stranger: (however you spell it)
You: this will take hours to clean
Stranger: He's the only one who understands me!
You: HE'S A WOOKIE GODDAMNIT!!!!!
Stranger: he's the love of my life!
Stranger: I'm pregnant with his babyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
Stranger: ...or is it r2d2's?
You: YOU'RE FRATINIZING WITH THE ENEMY!!!!!!
Stranger: I'm emo! we have no gender!
Stranger: my skinny genes made my penis fall off!
You: AAAAUUUUUGGGHHHH!!!!!!!
You: The emperor will not be happy
Stranger: can't we all join forces?!
You: EMO KIDS WILL ALWAYS BE MADE FUN OF
Stranger: well I'm going to marry yoda!
Stranger: I hope you know!...I am
You: if he's paying for the wedding
You: he's probably gonna die soon anyway
Stranger: I figure we could put some life insurance on him and wait until he dies
You: I can speen that process up
Stranger: then we'll be rich! and we can speed up our plan on inserting exploding trains in people's anus
You: I want to take over the galaxy
Stranger: one anus at a time
You: if only you weren't emo
You: then I could love you
Stranger: ...your not going to kill me ... are you father?
Stranger: ...well I DID run out of eyeliner...I guess not
Stranger: ....I'm just scene now :)
Stranger: I go from one extreme to another
You: scene is better then emo
Stranger: well this was entertaining
You: goodbye new internet friend
