Member of the Month

hi_vis360
November, 2024

Online

Welcome to the Newschoolers forums! You may read the forums as a guest, however you must be a registered member to post. Register to become a member today!

Blue ball cures?

profile picture
SteevyC
Posts: 265 - Karma: 15
i just had a great time with this girl until the last 20 mins... lets just say no touchdown for the home
team, no now i have the infamous blue ball syndrome... any cures that worked for you guys?

Ps- i know im a loser, please dont remind me
Aug 14 2009 12:34AM
0 0
profile picture
jayo.
Posts: 5015 - Karma: 34
masturbate?
Aug 14 2009 12:34AM
0 0
profile picture
charmander
Posts: 10636 - Karma: 373
bust a nut yo
Aug 14 2009 12:35AM
0 0
profile picture
Tortao
Posts: 1292 - Karma: 10
fap fap fap fap fap
Aug 14 2009 12:36AM
0 0
profile picture
comeatmebro
Posts: 10720 - Karma: 66
cry
Aug 14 2009 12:39AM
0 0
profile picture
Turner.
Posts: 1989 - Karma: 11,892
baahahahahha
Aug 14 2009 12:40AM
0 0
profile picture
Von
Posts: 4869 - Karma: 21
http://spankwire.com?
Aug 14 2009 12:53AM
0 0
profile picture
JacheOReally
Posts: 3597 - Karma: 253
Rape?
Aug 14 2009 12:58AM
0 0
profile picture
DDrem.
Posts: 3552 - Karma: 24
i told my buddy it was good to blaze. then again, i probably just wanted him to burn one with me. still, the positive herb makes more shit bother you less
Aug 14 2009 12:59AM
0 0
profile picture
LO_GO
Posts: 1002 - Karma: 8
yup yup
Aug 14 2009 1:01AM
0 0
profile picture
PopsicleStand
Posts: 6890 - Karma: 147
um, when i was a lesser man, i was kickin it in this hot tub with this girl all afternoon at this water park sorta thingy, and basically i got the gnarliest blue balls mankind has ever known. morphine could not have helped me. so basically so i didnt ruin the rest of my afternoon with this girl, i was like, fuck it, im wankin it in the bathroom. right. so i get to the PACKED FULL bathroom, and jerk off in a wet bathing suit freezing cold dripping wet in dirty ass fuckin stalls with really high doors and big cracks so you can see through and little boys taking shits on either side of me with their dads in the stalls with them shouting encouragement.

needless to say, if i made it happen, you certainly can get a nut off in the hope of relief.
Aug 14 2009 1:16AM
0 0
profile picture
860
Posts: 2930 - Karma: 166
You can get arrested for that shit ahahah
Aug 14 2009 1:23AM
0 0
profile picture
JacheOReally
Posts: 3597 - Karma: 253
What did the chick say when you got out of the hot tub with a weens poppin out at her?
Aug 14 2009 1:25AM
0 0
profile picture
PopsicleStand
Posts: 6890 - Karma: 147
i was wearing boxer briefs and was with a cool chick so that wasnt the big issue really

Aug 14 2009 1:30AM
0 0
profile picture
Hugh_Conway_jr
Posts: 746 - Karma: 467
better to be arrested than have blue balls. Bailbonds and lawyers .. that shit will get you out jail. Whats going to get you out of blue balls? Nothing, fucking nothing. Aside from getting so rediculisly High you forget about it , nothing will fix truly blue balls.

As a medical professional I highly recommend the pre game wank - used this to avoid blue balls, in a situation were the out come will most likely result in bluing of your balls.
If you thought you were going to get some Guaranteed Action, and didn't pre game wank, the moment you  notice things turning for the blue side of worse, listen to MJ and just "Beat it". Public bathroom, old folks home, Dairy Farm, no matter how unsavory your surrounding are you must.

Once Blue Balls has set in there is no cure. Ture blue balls cannot be jerked away after the fact. Blue balls is self limiting, provided you have removed the Bluing agent.
Aug 14 2009 1:34AM
0 0
profile picture
PopsicleStand
Posts: 6890 - Karma: 147
medical professional?
Aug 14 2009 1:42AM
0 0
profile picture
PopsicleStand
Posts: 6890 - Karma: 147
i claim that for myself

Aug 14 2009 2:56AM
0 0
profile picture
DrStrangelove
Posts: 1948 - Karma: 3
im the only one here who's technically a medical practitioner, but my original doctorates were in nuclear physics and experimental biology, so that doesnt really count


Aug 14 2009 2:59AM
0 0
profile picture
Balto
Posts: 25985 - Karma: 4,404
your hand
Aug 14 2009 3:30AM
0 0
profile picture
Alex_G
Posts: 11902 - Karma: 1,019
text that bitch and ask her if u can tap dat
Aug 14 2009 3:32AM
0 0
profile picture
PopsicleStand
Posts: 6890 - Karma: 147
hmm, well my doctorates in medicine, oh wait im two years short nevermind

Aug 14 2009 3:36AM
0 0
profile picture
DrStrangelove
Posts: 1948 - Karma: 3
and i probably should have been hanged for crimes against humanity at Nuremburg, but who's counting?
Aug 14 2009 3:39AM
0 0
profile picture
PopsicleStand
Posts: 6890 - Karma: 147
yikes, you got me beat, oh well
Aug 14 2009 3:42AM
0 0
profile picture
Hugh_Conway_jr
Posts: 746 - Karma: 467
Congratulations to you sir, and way to "claim" the only medical practitioner, and 2 other doctorates (Double Claim). But I suspect, like your skiing, your claims are weak. There are plenty of  people on this site who are not still in high school, while yes, the forum topic is more pre-med than post-doctoral, that changes nothing.

This may be the only serious thing I ever say on NS.  So go on kids, get your pencils and pads ready

As stated before, I am a medical professional . I base these treatments suggestion and preventative health measures based on;  personal experience, the anecdotal  experiences of others (both socially, and professionally),  and popular culture. A brief lit. search on the subject reviled nothing, suggesting this area may be worth some scientific study. 
Aug 14 2009 4:05AM
0 0
profile picture
PopsicleStand
Posts: 6890 - Karma: 147
haha someone is drunk or high

Aug 14 2009 4:27AM
0 0
profile picture
Hugh_Conway_jr
Posts: 746 - Karma: 467
what did you fail you LSAT Dr. ? is that why you are choosing medicine? to Claim 'Medical Practitioner' you need to be graduated and licensed, as a physician.
Not to rag on you man, and props to you if are what you say your ... but I am in doubt  that you are a 'Medical Practitioner' , If ,say you were using your doctorates within a health care environment, under a professional regulatory body and with a license , then you should use the Term, Medical Professional. But if you preforming maintenance on the fluro machine .... tisk tisk
Aug 14 2009 4:36AM
0 0
profile picture
PopsicleStand
Posts: 6890 - Karma: 147
oh jeezus, this drunken thread got outta hand

Aug 14 2009 4:50AM
0 0
profile picture
Hugh_Conway_jr
Posts: 746 - Karma: 467
Out of hand? not even close. I just take it personally when yahoos run around claiming shit.
 "I can do a corked 720"," I launched a 100ft cliff", "I am a Doctor. "  I am just Anti-Claim

I am not even closed to drunk. and now this is off my chest, I think have done a service to our young blue balled patient, by equipping him with preventative techniques, and alternative therapies.
Aug 14 2009 4:58AM
0 0
profile picture
UNREAL
Posts: 3989 - Karma: 23
I love you, that was fucking hilairious, 10/10
Aug 14 2009 5:02AM
0 0
profile picture
PopsicleStand
Posts: 6890 - Karma: 147
but i work at a hospital...?
Aug 14 2009 5:24AM
0 0
profile picture
Hugh_Conway_jr
Posts: 746 - Karma: 467
ok ... I don't catch what your fishing for?
Aug 14 2009 5:32AM
0 0
profile picture
PopsicleStand
Posts: 6890 - Karma: 147
i either must be dealing with someone stupid or im just really really drunk and im the idiot so ill check this in the morning.

hopefully i dont regret what i have posted in here.
Aug 14 2009 5:38AM
0 0
profile picture
BC.
Posts: 1551 - Karma: 86
your my hero, unforgiveable reference and medical reference in the same post not a easy feat.
Aug 14 2009 5:38AM
0 0
profile picture
Frank_Spinatra
Posts: 1203 - Karma: 75
I think some med student should do their thesis paper on this...good luck finding willing participants though...

I think there is only one way to solve this "Doctor Claim" issue.

PICS OR IT DIDN'T HAPPEN
Aug 14 2009 5:44AM
0 0
profile picture
Hugh_Conway_jr
Posts: 746 - Karma: 467
I am going with stupid.
So you work in a hospital .. great, whats your point?
Let me guess you want to be a medical professional too or perhaps a medical practitioner?
Please re-read my last post.
and with reference to your EMT-B qualification ... not a defined profession and not a doctor.
so do you have some more stupid to add? or was I right on the money
Aug 14 2009 5:45AM
0 0
profile picture
Hugh_Conway_jr
Posts: 746 - Karma: 467
hahaha that's fucking awesome.
Our target population is 15-18 y/o males. "guys we are looking for volunteers to have hot girls them excited"

Oh, the ethics, and the reproducibility, not to mention the control group  ... that would land some one in jail ..... hahaha
Aug 14 2009 5:48AM
0 0
profile picture
fsscott
Posts: 4684 - Karma: 114
do it
Aug 14 2009 5:55AM
0 0
profile picture
Owen.
Posts: 1134 - Karma: 13
I can't get over the fact that you're trying to be all smart and shit but your posts are littered with malapropisms and spelling errors...

Come on though guys, he's not even "closed" to drunk
Aug 14 2009 9:08AM
0 0
profile picture
QPower
Posts: 85 - Karma: 43
hammer dem boys?
Aug 14 2009 9:12AM
0 0
profile picture
mike91129
Posts: 777 - Karma: 43
quick blowie, wham bam
Aug 14 2009 9:12AM
0 0
profile picture
killabees
Posts: 8558 - Karma: 494
have sex with a deer. trust me im a doctor
Aug 14 2009 10:19AM
0 0
profile picture
DrStrangelove
Posts: 1948 - Karma: 3
He also doesn't realize that I'm not "claiming" anything for myself...all of my posts in this thread have been jokes about my username, but he'd have known that if at some point he would have Learned How to Stop Worrying and Love the Bomb
Aug 14 2009 10:50AM
0 0
profile picture
Peter.
Posts: 23796 - Karma: 13,014
this should do the trick
Aug 14 2009 11:14AM
0 0
All times are Eastern (-5)