Not mine....
A guy sitting at the bar realizes the time and says 'Oh Fuck!!!, my wife is going to kill me for coming late again.' The bartender laughs in his face and says, 'I've got a fool proof plan to get you off of the hook.'
The guy is obiviously curious and wants to know what the plan is and so the bartender replies, 'First, sneak into your house without making a sound, then slip off your shoes. Then tip-toe upstairs to your bedroom door, then sneak into your room, slide under the sheets and go down on your wife. That way, she should have no right to be pissed off at you in the morning.'
The guy at the bar thinks this is the greatest idea of all time and procedes to stay at the bar until 3 in the morning. When he finally goes home, he remembers the bartender's advice. First, he sneaks into the house without making a sound and he slips off his shoes. Then the guy tip-toes upstairs to the bedroom door and he slips inside.
The guy climbs under the sheets and the guys give the BEST head of his entire life and it isn't long before all the work is finished and he realizes he should clean up or something. The guys goes to the bathroom to wash up and is shocked to see his wife in the bathroom. The guy says, 'What the Fuck!!' His wife replies, 'Be quiet or you are going to wake your mother.'
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