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Tribute to Stupid People

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sugarrushthrill
Posts: 1167 - Karma: 9
In Honor of Stupid People
In case you needed further proof that the human race is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions on consumer goods.

On a Sears hairdryer -- Do not use while sleeping.
(Damn, and that's the only time I have to work on my hair).

On a bag of Fritos -- You could be a winner! No purchase necessary. Details inside.
(the shoplifter special)?

On a bar of Dial soap -- 'Directions: Use like regular soap.'
(and that would be how???....)

On some Swanson frozen dinners -- 'Serving suggestion: Defrost.'
(but, it's 'just' a suggestion).

On Tesco's Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom) -- 'Do not turn upside down.'
(well...duh, a bit late, huh)!

On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding -- 'Product will be hot after heating.'
(...and you thought????...)

On packaging for a Rowenta iron -- 'Do not iron clothes on body.'
(but wouldn't this save me more time)?

On Boot's Children Cough Medicine -- 'Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication.'
(We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)

On Nytol Sleep Aid -- 'Warning: May cause drowsiness.'
(and...I'm taking this because???....)

On most brands of Christmas lights -- 'For indoor or outdoor use only.'
(as opposed to...what)?

On a Japanese food processor -- 'Not to be used for the other use.'
(now, somebody out there, help me on this. I'm a bit curious.)

On Sainsbury's peanuts -- 'Warning: contains nuts.'
(talk about a news flash)

On an American Airlines packet of nuts -- 'Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts.'
(Step 3: maybe, uh...fly Delta?)

On a child's Superman costume -- 'Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly.'
(I don't blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)

On a Swedish chainsaw -- 'Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals.'
(Oh my God...was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)

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- LM Productions -


No, not a member but a qualified Instructor


Feb 15 2004 7:17PM
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davidh
Posts: 4219 - Karma: 8
seen it a million times (but it's still damn funny)
Feb 15 2004 7:28PM
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Apple
Posts: 7906 - Karma: 33
oh man, iv seen that befor too but it always makes me laugh. and the one about eating nuts is even funnier cause of the implications

-Thom Savery
please pardon the cacography
Feb 15 2004 7:34PM
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davidh
Posts: 4219 - Karma: 8
seen it a million times (but it's still damn funny)
Feb 15 2004 7:38PM
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SkiFree_MT
Posts: 395 - Karma: 9
Haha, i havent heard that b4, funny shit man


I got suspended for taking my pants off in class. The catholic school board really frowns upon it. - skierdudeguy

Its better to be pissed off then pissed on.



'To me skiing is life, and you may say i have no life but i could image doing nothing more kickass than skiing everyday'-
flatspin 720

Feb 15 2004 7:57PM
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rhcp
Posts: 2598 - Karma: 18
hahahahah 'do not stop chain with genitals'
-----------------------------------------------

'I am so smart, I am so smart. S-M-R-T, wait no, S-M-A-R-T!'
Feb 15 2004 8:08PM
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Sharpy
Posts: 7596 - Karma: 19
haha, never seen that before, damn funny
Justin the Hick
Feb 15 2004 8:11PM
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ztragnoB
Posts: 1704 - Karma: 27
my friend has a bunch of those and one of them is for a forein bug spray 'not tested on animals'
Feb 15 2004 11:18PM
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lineskier10
Posts: 11339 - Karma: 796
this is a tribute to lawsuits, not stupid people
--------------------

HIGH NORTH SESSION 4

The Hot Sauce Champion of the World
Feb 15 2004 11:23PM
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lanks
Posts: 12544 - Karma: 74
what will those crazy swedes think of next?

Joel

'Go shut yourself in a freezer and see if you can evolve out of it.' -PhattTim

'i think its funny that they decriminilized both homosexual sex and animal sex at the same time... what kinda message does that send?' -Apple
Feb 16 2004 12:07AM
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strode
Posts: 7549 - Karma: 14
yeah they had to put that chainsaw warning on because of me.....thought i could stop the fucker by putting it between my legs, and the next thing you know both my balls are lying on the ground



-Strode



Abba Zabba, you my only friend
Feb 16 2004 2:08AM
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skierdudeguy
Posts: 6574 - Karma: 81
hey, its a cheap sex change, what you always wanted


if talking about your own poop is wrong, i don't want to be right.
alpentalik
Feb 16 2004 3:03AM
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sugarrushthrill
Posts: 1167 - Karma: 9
haha
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- LM Productions -


No, not a member but a qualified Instructor


Feb 17 2004 4:01PM
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Concord
Posts: 4700 - Karma: 47
haha

Let's face it, no one posts anything serious on NS, and even if I wanted to, it would be answered by some not-so-clever variation of the following:
'You're gay', 'you suck', 'I fucked your mom last night', 'Eat shit', 'fuck you', or my favourite, 'I'm a better skier than you'. Jib_This

TMC WUUUUUUUUUUUUUT
WE KILL YOU
Feb 17 2004 7:04PM
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freeskiing04
Posts: 4454 - Karma: 10
haha you can tell this is from england
-Ira
Member No. 8857
*Northeast Cult*
Feb 17 2004 7:18PM
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shibby
Posts: 7088 - Karma: -19
hehe funny funny. never seen it before.
Feb 17 2004 7:50PM
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Deann
Posts: 725 - Karma: 10
Wow there are some really dumb people out there

Haggard Skis
Feb 17 2004 8:04PM
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rhcp
Posts: 2598 - Karma: 18
no, there are just some people who will sue over anything

-----------------------------------------------

'I am so smart, I am so smart. S-M-R-T, wait no, S-M-A-R-T!'
Feb 17 2004 8:15PM
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*ELLA*
Posts: 1628 - Karma: 11
i laugh at that every time i read it
~Ella~

GIRLS OF NS REPRESENT!!!
*if you are going to fuck up, fuck up big*
Feb 17 2004 8:50PM
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Ski-hobo
Posts: 7121 - Karma: 15
got to be a man to stop a chainsaw with your balls.
Feb 17 2004 8:54PM
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sugarrushthrill
Posts: 1167 - Karma: 9
you go in a man come out a woman
___________________


- LM Productions -


No, not a member but a qualified Instructor


Feb 17 2004 10:26PM
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MARIAH
Posts: 708 - Karma: 10
yah there is that one label too on some baby strollers( the ones that fold up) ' do not collapse while child is inside' how fucking retarded do you have to be.......
------------------------------
-mariah
Feb 17 2004 11:06PM
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skierdudeguy
Posts: 6574 - Karma: 81
you have to be canadian


if talking about your own poop is wrong, i don't want to be right.
alpentalik
Feb 19 2004 10:30PM
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SKItheBURG
Posts: 1667 - Karma: 10
hahaha, hilarious. i like the iron one, 'won't it save time?'
Feb 20 2004 5:19PM
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Apple
Posts: 7906 - Karma: 33
you have to be canadian? hahaha i thought that we just made fun americans, i didnt know it went both ways

-Thom Savery
please pardon the cacography
Feb 20 2004 5:27PM
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sugarrushthrill
Posts: 1167 - Karma: 9
haha
___________________


- LM Productions -


No, not a member but a qualified Instructor


Feb 22 2004 3:44PM
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jibtastic
Posts: 4391 - Karma: 67
All that shit is great. I love how on microwave pizzas, it says to 'Remove from plastic', or in case of microwave egg rolls, 'Remove from box'. NO really? I figured I'd take the whole friggin box of egg rolls and just stick it in the microwave, JUST so the cardboard and paper will light on fire.
-------------------------

Broken collarbones are so awesome.

Steeze-E-O's
'Skier Tested, Mother Approved'

Its simply what we eat.
Feb 22 2004 3:58PM
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sugarrushthrill
Posts: 1167 - Karma: 9
hahaha that would be priceless
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- LM Productions -


No, not a member but a qualified Instructor


Feb 23 2004 5:59PM
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destroy
Posts: 6665 - Karma: 12
haha, funny stuff. i like how in car manuals, it shows you how to turn on the car. 'insert key and turn clockwise' duh, i sure hope you know how to turn on a car before you buy one.

-Logan

'Get pissed. DESTROY'-Seth
'You are only limited by fear, and even that you can overcome'-Seth
'It's Totally Doable!'-Shane McConkey
'Oh shit. Did i sound like a dork when i was crashing?'-Shane McConkey
Feb 24 2004 11:57PM
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destroy
Posts: 6665 - Karma: 12
haha, funny stuff. i like how in car manuals, it shows you how to turn on the car. 'insert key and turn clockwise' duh, i sure hope you know how to turn on a car before you buy one. if they're going to be that dumb they should tell you which way to turn the steering wheel to make the car turn right or left.

-Logan

'Get pissed. DESTROY'-Seth
'You are only limited by fear, and even that you can overcome'-Seth
'It's Totally Doable!'-Shane McConkey
'Oh shit. Did i sound like a dork when i was crashing?'-Shane McConkey
Feb 24 2004 11:59PM
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