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February, 2025

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Man Commits Suicide Over Harry Potter

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quixotic
Posts: 6937 - Karma: 2,980
Yeah... some guy from Ohio killed himself after over hearing a spoiler to the movie that comes out tonight at midnight. He left a suicide note saying that he no longer had a reason to live. Wow......

Jul 14 2009 3:21PM
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gmack24
Posts: 4636 - Karma: 31
lol
Jul 14 2009 3:23PM
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Slinger1x1
Posts: 8853 - Karma: 66
false
any avid harry potter fan would have read the book and known the plot already, or atleast anyone who cares enough to kill themselves over it
Jul 14 2009 3:23PM
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Melvs
Posts: 15174 - Karma: 480
A spoiler... like, as in he hasn't read the books?  Dude wasn't even a real fan, what a loser.
Jul 14 2009 3:24PM
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spruitm
Posts: 2223 - Karma: 1,092
he deserved it.  for not knowing how to read books
Jul 14 2009 3:24PM
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quixotic
Posts: 6937 - Karma: 2,980
I get what you are saying, but the movies don't follow the books 100%. There are a few things added/changed.
Jul 14 2009 3:24PM
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Loges
Posts: 1928 - Karma: 21
"In my heart I believe that could have saved Jude's life, even if he didn't have one,"
Jul 14 2009 3:25PM
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neutralzombie
Posts: 8629 - Karma: 606
yeaaah, but seriously, theres no spoiler there.
Jul 14 2009 3:27PM
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KellyK
Posts: 1782 - Karma: 715
its a joke. 

"In my heart I believe that could have saved Jude's life, even if he didn't have one,"

you don't say that about a real person.  kinda funny its from huffington post tho.  they're real legit.
Jul 14 2009 3:28PM
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yellav
Posts: 10056 - Karma: 1,215
how did he not read the books?
Jul 14 2009 3:28PM
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ct_steeze
Posts: 1175 - Karma: 153
SHHHHH dont say anything someone might commit suicide
Jul 14 2009 3:30PM
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quixotic
Posts: 6937 - Karma: 2,980
Oh shit... is this a news source like the onion? If so, my bad haha. I didn't know, it just popped up on google news for me and I just thought to myself what the fuck..
Jul 14 2009 3:34PM
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.Roockley.
Posts: 3867 - Karma: 4,093
"But when he started wearing that wizard hat around town, we really should have seen that as a cry for help."


he put on his robe and wizard hat?
Jul 14 2009 3:35PM
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erickbrettson
Posts: 335 - Karma: 64
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Jul 14 2009 3:36PM
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Hannah.
Posts: 4625 - Karma: 56
Andy Borowitz is a comedian and the author of "Who Moved My Soap? The CEO's Guide to Surviving in Prison: The Bernie Madoff Edition."

its a joke.
Jul 14 2009 3:36PM
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Loges
Posts: 1928 - Karma: 21
you're so wise.
Jul 14 2009 3:40PM
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Hannah.
Posts: 4625 - Karma: 56
thank you
Jul 14 2009 3:42PM
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TheButterHashira
Posts: 9691 - Karma: 1,702
Haha "Ms. Clovis said that she hoped Mr. Ralston's death would cause federal authorities to tighten the flow of Harry Potter plot information to prevent similar tragedies from taking place. 

"
Jul 14 2009 3:52PM
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doublexl
Posts: 8407 - Karma: 27
im 99% sure that site is a joke.
Jul 14 2009 4:17PM
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max...
Posts: 1379 - Karma: 802
i'm 100% sure....cause at the end of the article it says goldman sach's is merging with satan....its not a true story
Jul 14 2009 4:45PM
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crazyfuck
Posts: 5968 - Karma: -7
you guys realize Borowitz is a comedian, right? in fact, it says so below the story.

so, everyone saying the guy in the story is an idiot or whatever for not being able to read... well, you're the idiots.
Jul 14 2009 4:53PM
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Freeheel4real
Posts: 909 - Karma: 95
hmmm...how did you not read the article?
ITS A FUCKING JOKE
Jul 14 2009 6:05PM
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.Capn.
Posts: 1454 - Karma: 152
Yeah but I bet they didn't change the part about Dumbledor dying at the end.

Oops.
Jul 14 2009 7:53PM
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chimp
Posts: 616 - Karma: 118
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Jul 14 2009 7:58PM
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*steeze_is_good
Posts: 2886 - Karma: 721
"In my heart I believe that could have saved Jude's life, even if he didn't have one,"
Hahah
Jul 14 2009 7:59PM
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wintersway
Posts: 5115 - Karma: 128
i was about to post that...
Jul 14 2009 9:06PM
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SteezyOhio
Posts: 6044 - Karma: 60
WHAT THE FUCK!

STILL thats my fucking town of hudson ohio, pretty fucking weird, but it is crazied, the loonies have a harry potter festivel sometime in the year and all the fuckers dress up and run around poking each other in the ass with their $80 wands, ffffffffffuuuuuuuccccccckkkkkk
Jul 14 2009 9:27PM
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skiEER
Posts: 4089 - Karma: 79
yeah wtf
Jul 14 2009 9:28PM
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B-runge
Posts: 16558 - Karma: 361
yeah, i cant read or comprehend either.

its okay.
Jul 14 2009 9:42PM
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neutralzombie
Posts: 8629 - Karma: 606
LORD AND SAVIOR, RIGHT HERE.
Jul 15 2009 12:36AM
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LMPJibbin
Posts: 1607 - Karma: 17
"When Jude got that vanity license plate that said 'Hogwarts,' that seemed harmless enough," said Polly Clovis, who attended Model U.N. with Mr. Ralston while the two were in high school. "But when he started wearing that wizard hat around town, we really should have seen that as a cry for help." 



lol
Jul 15 2009 8:54AM
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chames
Posts: 2331 - Karma: -33
I practically fell out of my chair laughing
Jul 15 2009 9:19AM
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MatRich
Posts: 4789 - Karma: 1,813
"In my heart I believe that could have saved Jude's life, even if he didn't have one,"

hahha what a fail
Jul 15 2009 9:27AM
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