Do you like Woody Allen? Then we have some great news. But only if you like Woody Allen.
Because if you don’t like Woody Allen, preferring to devote your time to clicking on pictures of scantily-clad girls on the internet in the desperate hope that you’ll be redirected to a pornography site, only to be disappointingly taken to a clothes retailer, we’ve got some bad news.
American Apparel has given Woody Allen $5 million for using an image of him on a billboard without permission. Just think how many smug, creatively-desolate Scarlett Johansson movies he can make with that. Joy.
It may not seem that way at first, but Woody Allen and American Apparel have a lot in common, in that you always know what you’re going to get from both of them.
In the case of Woody Allen, you’re going to get a hundred films that aren’t as good as Annie Hallthat you still have to pretend to like because all your arty friends will disown you if you say that you thought Iron Man was better than Cassandra’s Dream. And with American Apparel you’re going to get hundreds of web adverts featuring sexy models writing around in leotards that you hope are porn before realising to your dismay that actually a) the adverts take you to a website selling overpriced clothes for wankers and b) that sexy model was actually a 14-year-old boy.
But when Woody Allen and American Apparel collide, you end up with a rubbish billboard poster and a slightly humiliating out-of-court settlement for $5 million.
Two years ago, American Apparel used an image of Woody Allen dressed as a Hasidic Jew in a billboard campaign. The trouble with that was that nobody had asked for Woody Allen’s permission first. But that was OK, American Apparel said after Woody Allen sued it for $10 million, because the billboard was a parody.
You know, one of those clever parodies where nobody can actually tell what it’s supposed to be parodying and it all ends up with Woody Allen getting $5 million because it was all done so cackhandedly from the outset. Parodies are brilliant. NYT reports:
The settlement, which was announced by both parties on the steps of the federal courthouse in Manhattan, came as a jury trial was set to start. After making a brief courtroom appearance, Mr. Allen read from a prepared statement: “It’s of course possible by going through the trial, a jury might have awarded me more money, but this is not how I make my living.”
No, Woody Allen’s right - suing annoyingly hipsterish clothing retailers isn’t how he makes his living. He makes his living by going from country to country asking people to finance all those dreary naval-gazing films that only about four people ever watch anyway. His way is better.
http://www.hecklerspray.com/american-apparel-pays-woody-allen-5m-thankfully-not-for-modelling/200934172.php
**this article slightly amused me.
