From Mens are from Mars, Women are From Venus
Men are like rubber bands. When they pull away, they can stretch only so far before they come springing back. A rubber band is the perfect metaphor to understand the male intimacy cycle. This cycle involves getting close, pulling away, and then getting close again.
Most women are surprised to realize that even when a man loves a woman, periodically he needs to pull away before he can get closer. Men instinctively feel this urge to pull away. It is not a decision or choice. It just happens. It is neither his fault, or her fault. It's just a natural cycle.
Women misinterpret a a man's pulling away because generally a woman pulls away for different reasons.... men pull away even when the woman has done nothing wrong. He may love and trust her, and then suddenly he begins to pull away. Like a stretched rubber band, he will stretch himself and then come back all on his own. A man pulls away to fulfill his need for independance or autonomy. When he has fully stretched away, then instantly he will come springing back. When he has fully separated, then suddenly he will feel his need for intimacy again. Automatically, he will be more motivated to give his love and receive the love he needs. When a man springs back, he picks up the relationship at whatever degree of intimacy it was when he stretched away. He doesn't feel any need for a period of getting reacquainted again.
If a man does not have the opportunity to pull away, he never a chance to feel his strong desire to be close. It is essential for women to understand that if they insist on continuous intimacy, or 'run after' their intimate male partner when he pulls away, then he will almost always be trying to escape and distance himself; he will never get a chance to feel his passionate longing for love.
This rubber band analogy explains how a man may care very much about his partner but suddenly pull away. When he pulls away its not because he doesn't want to talk . Instead, he needs some time alone. It is a time for him to take care of himself. When he returns, he is available to talk
