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je_t.aime_canard
January, 2025

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Joke contest! whoevr can tell me the funniest Joke in a month gets a free prize

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.Jack_S.
Posts: 406 - Karma: 207
this is legit im not kidding if you can tell me one of the funniest jokes ive ever heard though a month span of time i will give you a free purle oldschooler oakley windbreaker!!! so go ahead
Apr 11 2009 3:57PM
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mait
Posts: 96 - Karma: 10

How Do you increase the public transportation usage in Compton

Push the trees closer together

srryyyy

Apr 19 2009 3:36PM
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D-Rex
Posts: 285 - Karma: 40
how do black women keep crime off the streets?


Abortion

How do you get black people off the streets?


Put a KFC on the sidewalk.


Apr 19 2009 3:37PM
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Lt-Aldo-Raine
Posts: 2309 - Karma: 120
Damn I was going to use that one.
Apr 19 2009 3:42PM
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assface
Posts: 4319 - Karma: 2,031
what worse than a guy thats a sexist pig?








a woman who wont do what shes told
Apr 20 2009 11:59PM
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Allegrath.
Posts: 250 - Karma: 30
price-less
Apr 28 2009 6:41PM
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AbeFroman
Posts: 1268 - Karma: -4
what knd of bees give off milk

boobies!
Apr 28 2009 6:48PM
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Oli_jgb
Posts: 985 - Karma: 95
I don't get this one.
Apr 29 2009 5:25AM
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J.Braun
Posts: 585 - Karma: 20

Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies, and a Ferrari?

-I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

Apr 29 2009 10:19AM
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Flarestrike
Posts: 437 - Karma: 18

um..i call shenanigans?

Apr 29 2009 10:31AM
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Allegrath.
Posts: 250 - Karma: 30
explain srry I don't understand
May 4 2009 8:46PM
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ECfreeski3
Posts: 12019 - Karma: 126
its comparing black people to monkeys. bad joke
May 4 2009 8:47PM
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Allegrath.
Posts: 250 - Karma: 30
agreed
May 4 2009 8:54PM
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scott23~
Posts: 507 - Karma: 14
did you hear about the black guy on i95?

yeah he stuck his head out the window and his lips beat him to death

dun dun ch
May 4 2009 9:26PM
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Smuffy
Posts: 4686 - Karma: 3,408
Alright guys, stop it with the black jokes. Ive got a black guy in my family. and hes still hanging there!
May 4 2009 10:07PM
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StevenSegal
Posts: 1716 - Karma: 16
It's black guy in my family tree you retard...

God if your going to be a racist bigot at least show some class.

for example....





How do you fit 1,000 JEWS into a volkswagon...?

Make them Mexican.





May 5 2009 12:24AM
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jayo.
Posts: 5015 - Karma: 34
do you like fishsticks?
May 5 2009 12:28AM
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ncbabbs
Posts: 94 - Karma: -20
I think we have a winner. Speech! Speech!
May 5 2009 12:43AM
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uni-corn
Posts: 13846 - Karma: 651
Why does Helen Keller masturbate with only one hand?

She has to moan with the other.
May 5 2009 12:45AM
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HR8938Cephei
Posts: 1411 - Karma: 46
Anyone seen any NASAs around latley?



North, American, Street, Ape

May 5 2009 1:16AM
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Allegrath.
Posts: 250 - Karma: 30
Why does Michael J. Fox always get yelled at when he tries to hold a baby?

Because you should never shake a baby.
May 7 2009 9:52AM
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corona
Posts: 12818 - Karma: 32,995
i'm preeeetty certain i made that joke well before he did...
May 7 2009 1:29PM
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Allegrath.
Posts: 250 - Karma: 30
How many Sal Maskelas does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2: 1 to screw it in and the other to yell "Oh, look at the style and the amplitude.  That style is amazing.  The amplitude.  The style!"
May 21 2009 8:02PM
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grifftang
Posts: 1277 - Karma: 14
^ lol
dunno someones prob. already said this but







womens rights
May 21 2009 8:57PM
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garettnorthey
Posts: 3049 - Karma: 173
Person 1: Ask me if I am a tree.
Person 2: Are you a tree?
Person 1: No.
May 21 2009 9:01PM
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ParkE
Posts: 1388 - Karma: 190
its been a month.
May 22 2009 4:49PM
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beezey
Posts: 9027 - Karma: 427

Whats small, hairy, unpredictable, and makes you want to cry and scream in terror at the same time.

a tiny penis.

May 22 2009 4:54PM
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Farquaharson
Posts: 1203 - Karma: 246

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One turns to the other and says, "Jeeze it's really starting to get hot in here hey?" The other says, "HOLY SHIT A TALKING MUFFIN!"

here's a long one....

Superman is flying around one day and is feeling kinda horny, so he stops by batman's house and sees him standing outside. He asks, "Hey batman buddy, i've been feeling a little lonely this past few days....do you know anyone who's really good in the bed??" Batman replies, "yeah well actually i've heard wonderwoman is really amazing actually, go see her." Superman says, "Well, i dunno, we've been really good friends and it'd be kinda weird, thanks though." And superman flies off again. Next, superman stops by spiderman's appartment. "Hey spidey buddy," he asks, "do you know anyone who's, you know, good in the bed? I'm feeling kinda restless and horny..." Spiderman says, "OH yeah dude, you gotta go check out wonderwoman, she's the best fuck i've had in my life! Unbelieveable!!!" Superman replies back, "Yeah that's what batman said. Buuuuuuttt, i dunno, she's a good friend, it'd be weird. Thanks though." and he flies off again. As he's flying around town, he sees wonderwoman lying stark naked on top of a building. Hmmmmm, maybe if i go in super fast with my super powers, she won't even know who or what happened..... So superman flys in and fucks wonderwoman with super speed and flies off again. "WOW that was the BEST sex i've EVER had!!!" Exclaims superman. Back on the roof, wonder woman says, "Whoa! What the fuck was that!!!???" Invisible man says, "Holy fuck i dunno, by jesus does my ass hurt."

May 22 2009 5:22PM
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bryanw
Posts: 533 - Karma: 284
a teacher is in a kindergarten class and is asking the kids wat animal is on the card she holds up. she holds up a picture of a fish. and billy says its a fish. She holds up a picture of a dog and sally says dog. then she holds a up a picture of a deer and no one knows, she said its sumthing your dad calls your mom
Nick yells A DIRTY FUCKIN CUNT
May 22 2009 5:29PM
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OhMyBosh
Posts: 5056 - Karma: 171
Whats the best thing about raping a 4 year old girl?

Hearing her pelvis break.


Whats the worst thing about raping a 4 year old girl?

Getting her blood all over your clown suit.
May 22 2009 5:30PM
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corona
Posts: 12818 - Karma: 32,995
if i win can you paypal me 91 cents USD? or 1.10 CDN. thats how much I'm short and dont want to wait 8 business days till more clears... or anyone?? please!!!! i'll pay ya back in 8 business days and give you 10/10!! lol im desperate.
May 22 2009 5:49PM
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.Asain-Skiier
Posts: 3708 - Karma: 977
Q: Why did the women cross the road
A: Why the hell was she out of the kitchen.

My girlfriend always calls me a pedophile I respond by saying "that's a pretty big word for a eight year old"
May 22 2009 5:52PM
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Dan.
Posts: 7201 - Karma: 1,126
three men, Juan, Fidel, and Domingo, decide to see who can reach the ground the fastest when they jump off a cliff, who benefits?


Society
May 22 2009 5:58PM
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mttmav
Posts: 2 - Karma: 10
what do you call a gay dinosuar? a mega-saur-as
May 22 2009 6:08PM
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mttmav
Posts: 2 - Karma: 10
knock knock?
whos there?
I eat mop
I eat mop who
OHHHHHHHH
if you dont get it just say it out loud to urself
May 22 2009 6:10PM
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OhMyBosh
Posts: 5056 - Karma: 171
Whats the difference between an apple and a baby?

I dont cum on an apple before i eat it.
May 22 2009 7:14PM
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HPskier
Posts: 1072 - Karma: 30
May 22 2009 8:21PM
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Zoro
Posts: 1253 - Karma: 37
reeeeeepost
May 22 2009 8:52PM
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SkierDudeMan
Posts: 83 - Karma: 23
What did the ocean say to the boat? Nothing it just waved.
May 22 2009 9:30PM
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Dan.
Posts: 7201 - Karma: 1,126

No one thinks they'll run into Chuck Norris at their neighborhood Starbucks. Meth will change that.

May 22 2009 9:41PM
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PeterWojnar
Posts: 3937 - Karma: 678
Maybe a repost, I didn't read entire thread.


Why did Hellen Keller's dog run away?

Well how would you like it if your name was Aawreaweaea!
May 22 2009 9:49PM
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thisandthatfilms
Posts: 7714 - Karma: 526
how do you get to chads form the bottom of alta?

May 22 2009 10:48PM
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mackcamp
Posts: 1210 - Karma: 243
three guys get stranded in a small town. they go to a farmhouse and ask to stay the night. the farmer says yes but also says that he only has one extra bed so all 3 guys have to sleep together. so they all go to sleep.

The next morning the one of the guys on the outside of the bed is like....

"i had a dream that i was getting the best handjob of my life!"

the guy on the other outside says...

"i had that same dream!"

the guy in the middle says...

"really? i had a dream that i was skiing!"
May 22 2009 11:18PM
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JTL
Posts: 2275 - Karma: 338
a guy gets in a car accident. he ends up burning his legs very badly. when he is in the hospital the sheets touching his legs hurts very badly. the nurses didn't know what to do. it was a cold night so the guy needed the sheets to stay warm. then the doctor had an idea. he prescribed the guy with a prescription of Viagra.
May 22 2009 11:29PM
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theblacktaco
Posts: 1462 - Karma: 82
2 men walk into a bar the third one ducks
May 22 2009 11:35PM
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lepowski
Posts: 137 - Karma: 96
three old ladies are sitting on a park bench when suddenly a man in a trench coat flashes them. two of the ladies have a stroke..... and one cant reach.
May 22 2009 11:38PM
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