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KilaTsunami
October, 2024

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Joke contest! whoevr can tell me the funniest Joke in a month gets a free prize

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.Jack_S.
Posts: 406 - Karma: 207
this is legit im not kidding if you can tell me one of the funniest jokes ive ever heard though a month span of time i will give you a free purle oldschooler oakley windbreaker!!! so go ahead
Apr 11 2009 3:57PM
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.jr
Posts: 5313 - Karma: 356
this one time, I read a thread... and it looked like a 3rd grader wrote it!!!!!!
Apr 11 2009 3:59PM
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Style+eeze
Posts: 6901 - Karma: 551
what do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

a lick-o-lot-a-pus

ah!

-or-

what do you call a mexican with a rubber toe?

roberto

ah!
Apr 11 2009 4:05PM
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HR8938Cephei
Posts: 1411 - Karma: 46
hahahahha +k for those
Apr 11 2009 4:13PM
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ParkE
Posts: 1388 - Karma: 190

what did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?

see you next month

what happend when the baby seal hit the club?

it died

why do medicine companys put cotton at the top of their medicine bottles?

to remind black people they picked this before they sold these.

Apr 11 2009 4:19PM
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Smuffy
Posts: 4686 - Karma: 3,408
a guy walks into a bar and says ouch.

i knew a blond who took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept

there was this blond who sold the car for gas money

how do you kill a dumb blond in a submarine? knock on the door.
Apr 11 2009 4:24PM
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yellav
Posts: 10056 - Karma: 1,217
do you like fish sticks?
Apr 11 2009 4:25PM
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klingisking
Posts: 802 - Karma: 925
whats the point of the first line?
Apr 11 2009 4:28PM
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mak09
Posts: 103 - Karma: 29
So a stoner walks up to his grandma and says "grandma have you seen my pills they are marked LSD?" then the grand ma says "Fuck the pills have you seen the dragon in the kitchen?"
Apr 11 2009 4:28PM
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Smuffy
Posts: 4686 - Karma: 3,408
just think about it.
Apr 11 2009 4:29PM
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babujib
Posts: 5039 - Karma: 104
hahahah shit you beat me to it. winner right here funniest joke ever made.
Apr 11 2009 4:32PM
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Skavengers303
Posts: 964 - Karma: 192

why do squirles swim on their backs?

to keep their nuts dry!!

How many midgets does it take to screw in a light bulb?

2, but they have to be really small midgets

Apr 11 2009 4:32PM
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Oli_jgb
Posts: 985 - Karma: 95
A free prize?!

Isn't that the nature of a prize?
Apr 11 2009 4:36PM
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[Adam]
Posts: 1937 - Karma: 256
1.) how many snowboarders does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

one to screw it in
one to film
and one to sit in the landing

2.) there is a blond on each side of a river

one of the blondes calls out. "how do you get to the other side" then the other blonde shouts back "your already there"

3.) how do you kill a blonde?

put a scratch and sniff at the bottom of a swimming pool

4.) theres a black guy, a white guy, and a mexican and they both want this girl they have been checking out from across the bar. so they approuch her and she says whoever can use liver and cheese in the same sentence wins me. the black guys goes first and say "umm liver and cheese is for gs" the white guy says "i dont like liver and cheese" and the mexican says......" liver alone cheese mine"



Apr 11 2009 4:45PM
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[Adam]
Posts: 1937 - Karma: 256
i meant- whoever can use liver and cheese the best in a sentence wins her*
Apr 11 2009 4:46PM
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no_steeze
Posts: 23992 - Karma: 4,272
what do you call 4 mexicans in quicksand?
-quatro cinquo


Apr 11 2009 4:48PM
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corona
Posts: 12795 - Karma: 32,751
best joke ever!!!!!!!!


*dont kill me




A black man walks into a bar,
the bartender says: Get the fuck out
Apr 11 2009 4:51PM
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.jr
Posts: 5313 - Karma: 356
the pink explains it..
Apr 11 2009 5:14PM
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garygohard
Posts: 1463 - Karma: 2,871

knock knock

whos their

boo

boo who

dont cry its just a joke

Apr 11 2009 5:19PM
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Jake...
Posts: 11976 - Karma: 296
+k
Apr 11 2009 5:27PM
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klingisking
Posts: 802 - Karma: 925

wow how could i bee soo stupid!!!

lol

Apr 11 2009 5:27PM
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klingisking
Posts: 802 - Karma: 925

if ur saying im blonde or stupid...

i just wasnt thinking.

Apr 11 2009 5:29PM
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Crack.
Posts: 6020 - Karma: 84
do your parents know you're gay? ohhh burnn. But really I don't have any jokes.=[
Apr 11 2009 5:29PM
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.jr
Posts: 5313 - Karma: 356
refer to my last post for further explanation
Apr 11 2009 5:46PM
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shea.
Posts: 1606 - Karma: 193
There was 3 girls sitting in a bar. The first girl says "im so loose my boyfriend can get 3 fingers in me!" the second girl said "thats nothing! im so loose my boyfriend can fit his whole hand in me! the third girl said nothing and just slid down the chair.
Apr 11 2009 5:54PM
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wnab21
Posts: 1313 - Karma: 18
  • What's funnier than a dead baby?
    A dead baby in a clown costume!
  • What's funnier than a dead baby?
    A dead baby sitting next to a kid with down syndrome.
  • How do you know when a baby is a dead baby?
    The dog plays with it more.
  • What's more fun than feeling up a dead baby?
    Feeling up a dead baby with three nipples
  • How do you make a dead baby float?
    Take your foot off of it's head.
  • What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline?
    When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
    • What's worse than a having sex with a dead baby?
      Having sex with a dead baby filled with razor blades.
    • Why do you put a baby in the blender feet first ?
      To see the expression on it face!
    • What's worse than a dead baby in a trashcan lid?
      A trashcan lid in a dead baby.
    • What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs laying on a beach?
      Sandy.
    • Why did the baby fall off the swing?
      Because it had no arms or legs.
    • What's worse than finding a dead baby on your pillow in the morning?
      Realizing you were drunk and made love to it the night before.
Apr 11 2009 5:55PM
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appa
Posts: 2249 - Karma: 1,739
knock knock
who's there?
mike snifferpipetts
mike snifferpipetts who?
how many mike snifferpipetts do you know? it's cold out here let me in! - this one's from role models

what do you call a gay dinosaur?

mega-sore-ass
Apr 11 2009 5:57PM
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dex.
Posts: 2973 - Karma: 62

why are there little cottonballs in the tops of medicine bottles?

to remind black guys that they picked cotton before they sold drugs.

Apr 11 2009 6:01PM
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appa
Posts: 2249 - Karma: 1,739
how did helen keller's parents punish her?

they put doorknobs on the wall

(so she hit her head when she pulled the knob)
Apr 11 2009 6:04PM
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East-Coast-Steez
Posts: 129 - Karma: 5
dude, thats so old, but its still legit, haha
Apr 11 2009 6:06PM
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1990
Posts: 1787 - Karma: 52
One time i flew from NYC to Europe. After the pilot held his speech to the guests, he forgot to turn off the microphone.

He goes: "Maaaan, I could need a coffee and a blowjob!"

A stewardess ran towards the cockpit to tell the pilot that his mic is still working.


One of the passangers shouted: "Heeey, don't forget the coffee!!"
Apr 11 2009 6:13PM
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vol_t
Posts: 89 - Karma: 10

When NASA first started sending up astronauts, they quickly discovered that ballpoint pens would not work in zero gravity. To combat the problem, NASA scientists spent a decade and $12 billion to develop a pen that writes in zero gravity, upside down, underwater, on almost any surface including glass and at temperatures ranging from below freezing to 300°C.

The Russians used a pencil.

Apr 11 2009 6:26PM
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.brian
Posts: 1710 - Karma: 233
great episode
Apr 11 2009 6:31PM
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sick-as-aids
Posts: 3453 - Karma: 1,007
why is ray charles always smiling?
he doesnt know hes black
Apr 11 2009 6:35PM
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Crack.
Posts: 6020 - Karma: 84
hahah I loled at that
Apr 11 2009 6:44PM
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.Hugo.
Posts: 17360 - Karma: 28,485

so hitler and mussolini are sitting at a bar and mussolini says hes going to kill 10,000 africans.

hitler: thats nothing, im going to kill 6 million jews and a clown.

mussolini: why are you going to kill a clown.

HItler: i told you no one cares about the jews

Apr 11 2009 7:28PM
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TeamJones
Posts: 629 - Karma: 12
The White House gardener was fired last week for asking where the spade and the hoe were.

What's the difference between a pile of dead babies and a Ferrari? 
I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

What's better than 10 dead babies nailed to a tree?
A dead baby nailed to 10 trees.

How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall?
Depends on how hard you throw them.

How many Poles does it take to put in a lightbulb?
5: one to climb the ladder, the other four to turn it.

Why did the Polish navy build their ships with glass bottoms?
To see the old Polish navy.

There's two fish in a tank.  One says to the other, "I'll take the guns, you drive."
Apr 11 2009 7:55PM
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pmw
Posts: 5760 - Karma: 831
so a bear walks into a bar, and the bartender says "what will you have?" and the bear says.."i will have.............................a water" the bartender says "what's with the big pause'? the bear says "im a bear!"
Apr 11 2009 8:11PM
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Cudder.
Posts: 2248 - Karma: 307
What do black people and semen have in common?
-Only one in a million work.

Why are black people so fast?
-All the slow ones are in jail.

What do people and jelly beans have in common?
-Nobody likes the black ones.


Apr 11 2009 8:22PM
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Beans13
Posts: 441 - Karma: 12

How did helen keller burn her face?

She answered the iron.

Apr 11 2009 8:25PM
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Thenowhereman42
Posts: 5682 - Karma: 65
fuck I knew someone would beat me to it
Apr 11 2009 8:27PM
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Panchuk
Posts: 1610 - Karma: 355
+k
Apr 11 2009 8:35PM
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Totes_Magotes
Posts: 2259 - Karma: 870
two drums and a symbal walk off a cliff...   bu - dum - chii
Apr 11 2009 9:26PM
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Lahooda
Posts: 191 - Karma: 10
So there is this girl in CCD and theres this really annoying kid behind her, The teacher says who is Gods son, the kid pokes the girl in the back with a stick and she yells JESUS CHRIST and the teacher says good job little girl, Then the teacher says who is the creater of all things and the kid pokes her in the back again and she yells GOD but she stops before she says damnit so the teacher doesnt get mad, and the teacher says great job! Then the teacher asks what did Eve say to adam after they had there last child, the kid pokes the girl in the back again and this time she yells IF YOU STICK THAT THING IN ME ONE MORE TIME IM GONNA BREAK IT IN HALF!!!
Apr 11 2009 9:43PM
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corona
Posts: 12795 - Karma: 32,751
------- kkkk for not reading and using the same joke i used above.... and getting + k for it.
Apr 11 2009 9:49PM
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McShane
Posts: 270 - Karma: 145
I actually laughed out loud. simple and to the point. and funny. +K
Apr 11 2009 9:55PM
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hoodSlayer
Posts: 900 - Karma: 7
A senior citizen was driving down the freeway when his wife called his cell phone.

"Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Route 280. Please be careful!"

"It's not just one car," said Herman, "It's hundreds of them!"
Apr 11 2009 10:07PM
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max...
Posts: 1379 - Karma: 802

what do you say to a woman with two black eyes?

-nothing. you have already told her twice.

Apr 11 2009 10:12PM
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Blurst
Posts: 13577 - Karma: 10,169

Guy 1 is bit by a poisinous snake on his penis.  

Guy 1 says for guy 2 to go get a doctor

Guy 2: Doctor my friend was just bit by a poisinous snake come help him.

Doctor: Im sorry but im in sugery, i cant come

Guy2: Then what should i do to save him?

Doctor: Ok you have to take a knife and slit a small whole near the bite and then suck out the poison.

guy 2 goes back to guy 1

Guy 1: What did the doctor say?

Guy 2: He says your gonna die

Apr 11 2009 10:27PM
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Meases_Pieces
Posts: 1292 - Karma: 246
two peanuts walking down the street
and one was assaulted
Apr 11 2009 10:47PM
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