Maybe we just know different types of people, but before i get into that, let me just say that i also know many many gay people (a handful of whom are close friends of mine), and most of them hate flamers as well. so i agree with you there.
I, however, rarely hear "flamers" actually talk like that, or about that type of thing in public or when not around their group of friends. i was referring to (in my first post) the type of hate that goes on between people who are gay, but not flamers, and the people who just outright dont accept and dont wanna hear anything about gay people. Many people get SO weirded out around gay people and its just outright offensive. you don't see us (chose my words carefully) get weirded out around straight people. i feel like it would just be common courtesy for people to just accept the way other people are.
i think i may have veered a little off topic. Regardless, i feel as if it should be acceptable for a gay person to be just as open as a straight person (if they choose to be) about their sexuality. Now, i also think that some people should be a little less open about their sexuality in general (i mean, who wants to be in a public place overhearing what some guy did to his girlfriend last night?), but from what you said in the post i quoted, i think we have the same view on this, so i wont go into it further since you did a good job explaining it.
