Replying to That party last night was awful crazy

here's the story of our adventure last night, summarized:

 this girl just turned 21 and had a house party at her friends house. the theme was I'm On a Boat. the house is a duplex where the majority of the party happens on the top floor and the balcony. as my friends proceeded to get hammered, chaos ensued.

 first we found a funnel on the ground and put it in this kids mouth and poured a cup and two beers in it. he made it through 2 and then dropped/whipped the remainder over the whole party. this girl screamed and he puked off the balcony.

somekid passed out with his shoes on so we covered him in everything in the living room including pillows, cushions, and chairs.

some girl slipped on the muddy beery kitchen floor and my friend "spilled" his beer all over her. she's a fat freshman and loved it. she bragged about it even.

i tried to get powder*whore out and home because he was blackout but it didn't really work out. he was trying to maul any girl he could get his hands on. he'd steal rum from this chick and then mack it out in the kitchen while we screamed obscenities.

then on the other side of the duplex, where a bunch of super-seniors live, my friends were helping out this girl while she was getting hassled by some bro in cowboy boots when wham, john gets sucker punched to the dome

my four roommates, john's roommate, and our gypsy buddy mike jones jump in to brawl this kid/all of the people that knew him and lived in that side of the house. (these kids are 2-3 years older than us) we got some hits but for the most part got taken. we would keep getting popped randomly as we tried to bounce. john went to the hospital for his head. one of my roommates face is real messed up. but it was fun and we got his back.

so now we're finding out who this cowboy bro was so we can TKOB

word