Replying to What the fuck happened last night?

alright recap from what my friends told me, not in chronological order...

my friend threw up off a porch directly onto the homeowner's dog,
another friend was peeing off the porch onto the same dog,
i had a bowl of fruity pebbles and beer,
another friend drew on me while i was awake staring at him telling him to stop, but i didnt do anything i just layed there,
same friend took my phone and texted ridiculous sexual questions to every girl in my phone book,
same kid t-bagged another friend, while he was asleep with a girl, the girl woke up, looked at what was happening, and rolled back over.
handle of captain was left on top of the fridge, i opened the fridge, and it fell right into my shin giving my a nice bruise/cut,
another friend showed up, just walked in the door, went into the cabinets, chugged an entire bottle of maple syrup in less than 10 seconds, took 4 exlax, and left.
and one kid has a black eye because he woke up while someone was drawing on him, he got up and punched the wrong kid right in the face.

as i remember more, or people tell me i will add.