I pity the fool

On the 0th day, Mr. T created God. Then made God do the rest of the work while Mr. T pitied him. In fact, Mr. T is the first and only person who pities fools professionally; you can pity some of the fools all of the time, and all of the fools some of the time, but Mr. T always pities all of the fools... and then eats them with utensils made of justice and a side of sweet, sweet vengeance. Mr. T is the only person who knows how to pronounce the exclamation mark. He's been in comic books, rap albums, the simpsons, movies, wrestling and wears overalls. Could he be any cooler? Why yes, he could. Mr. T once ate so much vanilla ice cream that he crapped out Tom Cruise. He can rip a phone book in half with his bare testicles. After Jesus turned water into wine, Mr. T turned that wine into blood and disappeared in a cloud of smoke. When the smoke settled all that remained was a giant wooden "T" and Jesus knew he was in trouble. Mr. T once saw someone kick an adorable puppy. Furious at what the man had done, Mr. T unleashed a pity so powerful, it not only liquified the fool, but the puppy gained the ability to speak. This dog now goes by the name Scooby Doo. But now its time to quit the jibba jabba.