Replying to AARRRRGGGG!!!!! women....

Why can't girls just come out and say things? It has just been brought to my attention that there are three that like me, but I don't who they are! I hear it through their friends, who are 'sworn to secrecy' What the crap? If I like a girl, and think I have a shot, they always know, why can't they just say it? I need to find out soon, 'cuz MORP is in two weeks, and I need a date.
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I think the saddest thing you will ever see in your life is a mosquito sucking on a mummy. Give it up, little friend.